Addicted to Pornography — Please Help!

Question from a Site Viewer
Wow, many praises to our Almighty GOD! GOD is great. I have known HIM since my childhood and HE always helps me in my life. I was reading your life history in faith and it shows me how great GOD is — how reliable HE is — how kind HE is — Praise GOD, Bro!

Well, I am struggling with pornography addiction . . . right now I am a kind of messed up . . . a repeated failure really builds in me an emotional impact . . . but, always in between these things, I still feel GOD’s help . . . I am sure that HE will make me free from pornography before taking my soul . . . let me know if there’s anything you can tell me that will help me in this regard.

Tim’s Answer
Thanks for your email. And thanks for being honest with respect to your struggle with pornography.

If you substitute the pornography sites and pictures for the harlot in Proverbs 7:6-27, you will understand the dire straights you are in. Those who pursue pornography are like an ox that goes to the slaughter. Its house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death.

The problem with pornography is that it is so attractive to us. It is an enticement we find it hard to avoid. And once we look, we are drawn down into it even more. It leads our mind away from Christ, from those things that are pure and good, to corruption, pollution, and death. We look and we desire to see more. Our minds become focused more and more on sex, not as an expression of love for another, but a release of one’s own heightened and demanding desires. We become prisoners of our own minds. And with our minds fed on such matters, we struggle to maintain a holy and pure thought in our mind when we do finally seek out God. It is a bitter course of death, robbing us of life.

But there is hope. Listen to Proverbs 5:8-11:

Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others, and your years to the cruel one; lest aliens be filled with your wealth, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner; and you mourn at last, when your flesh and your body are consumed.

Again, while this passage is directed towards a harlot, it applies with equal force to pornography. Jesus makes this clear when He tells us that one who looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery (Matthew 5:28). The Apostle Paul tells in 1 Corinthians 6:18 to “flee sexual immorality.”

Sexual addiction is a real problem with a great many people. As with other types of addiction, sexual addiction and pornography grabs the mind and warps it to think about one thing. It becomes a powerful stimulant, creating its own seemingly incontrollable desire, driving us deeper into the addiction.

As with all addictions, the best approach is to quit cold turkey. Simply quit. Stop. Save yourself from the hell that is being created for you with this addiction. Flee from the fire.

I want to provide you some basic concepts about overcoming this addiction.

  1. Understand that the addiction has established thinking patterns in your mind that will take time to undo. But God has given you the power to tear them down, if you pursue a life of abiding in Jesus and living with the power of the Holy Spirit. The weapons that God has given us to win the battle of the mind are powerful (2 Corinthians 10:4-5).
  2. Spend time with God. Every day, spend time with Him. Set aside time to be with Him. Tell Him about yourself, about your life; thank Him for His love, confess your sin, and draw near to Him. Set your mind to develop a love relationship with God. Take a book of Scripture (I suggest 2 Peter), and read a little bit at a time. Think about it, study it, see what it teaches you about God, about yourself, about what you are to do. Find a verse to memorize in that passage and commit it to memory. Maybe there will be several verses, or maybe the entire chapter. Memorization of the Bible is one of the most powerful tools to retrain your mind’s thought processes. Keep the goal in mind, to grow in your love for God.
  3. Deal with thoughts of sex. We acknowledge that sex is not bad; God has created it for His creatures. But God teaches us to reserve our thoughts of sex for the mates God gives to us. So when such thoughts arise, if you are not married, take them to God. Tell God of your thoughts, and then hand them over to Him. Leave them with Him. In your conversation with God, turn to other matters – thank Him for the day, or pray for the health or salvation of others. If you are married and thoughts of sex arise, turn your desires always towards your spouse and again go to God and talk to Him about them and thank Him for your spouse. If you are not married and desire to be married, talk to God about it and seek a godly wife. But keep working on keeping your thoughts pure, by taking your sexual desires to God and seeking to transform your mind to thinking about your service to God and others.
  4. Understand that this struggle will be a lifetime struggle. Even those of us who have never gone into pornography still struggle with sexual matters. But the struggle is well worth the fight. What you will find is that what is a constant battle now, will become an occasional battle later, and a rare battle in the distant future, as you continue to pursue a life with the God above. At the same time, God will become more and more dear to you, and He will give you experiences that will shape and mold you in ways you never thought possible.
  5. If in your weakness, you turn back to pornography, do not despair. Immediately repent, return to God and confess and seek His help. Analyze what were the steps that led you to turn back. Avoid those situations or places in the future. If pictures of women lead you to desire pornography, train your mind to look only at their faces. Learn to look for their souls, rather than their bodies. Pray for them, that God will reach them with His love. Seek to become an agent for God in the world, by becoming an active prayer warrior for people. If it is the computer, set up a filter system to make access to such sites more difficult. If it is magazines, avoid going near places that sell such magazines. If you have to go, do not take any money with you, or only take the money you will need to purchase the items you need to get so that you have no change to purchase something else. Eliminate every shred of pornography from your house, your car if you have one, and your life. But do not rely solely on these external things. Focus on changing the desires of the heart.
  6. Finally, follow Philippians 4:8 and think about good things. Pursue a life that blesses others. Be kind to people. Seek out opportunities to carry the love of Christ to others. Understand that life is not about your happiness, but about denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following Christ (Mark 8:34). Live a life of gratitude towards God and service towards others.

I would encourage you also to find a good fellowship of Christians. Some churches today have sexual addiction recovery groups. You may find these helpful in your battle. But, never forget that the most powerful tool you have is a close and deepening relationship with the eternal God. Draw near to Him and flee sexual sins. May the God who came to rescue us from our sins, Jesus, guide your steps as you pursue after Him.

A fellow pilgrim,

tim

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Overcoming Sin

43 thoughts on “Addicted to Pornography — Please Help!

    1. Ashly

      Thank you so much for this. I always asked myself if God will ever forgive me for the repeated sins I’ve done. But now I know God’s love is much greater than my sins.

      Reply
  1. Joe

    Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I read the entire post and now I feel way better knowing I’m not the only one suffering from this. Reading this post has given me strength to read my bible more, pray, and build a better relationship with God.

    Reply
  2. Katelyn

    So this means that even if we do watch it, God will still forgive us??? I went to Confession and confessed that I watched something I wasn’t supposed to watch… Since I did that, does God forgive me???? I don’t want to go to Hell! Help!

    Reply
    1. Stan

      Katelyn, I am in the same boat as you, having just watched a very bad video. I am in no position to preach to you. But I will tell you what I know from the Bible. If you have been saved by the blood of Christ–by His work alone, not by anything you can do–then you are saved. His death on the cross is sufficient to forgive your sins, my sins, and the sins of all the world who respond in faith. Confess your sins to Jesus, not to a priest. The book of Hebrews says that Jesus is our High Priest and our mediator between God and man. The priest in your church has no authority or power to forgive sins. Instead of confessing to him, take your burdens to our Lord and Savior Jesus–God Almighty–who alone has the power and authority to save. In Him you will find true freedom.

      Obviously He doesn’t just take away all your sins and struggles overnight. I struggled with porn for years in college, and even after almost a year without it, I have begun to struggle again. It is a long process of healing. But He knows your burden. He has been tempted in all things just like us, but He was victorious over temptation. Unlike us, He never sinned, so He was fit to be a sacrifice for our sins. I am confident in the salvation of God.

      I highly recommend that you read Psalm 51. Also read Romans (the entire thing). Read Ephesians, especially chapter 2. And take comfort in the fact that Jesus can forgive even the most wicked of sins. All praise and all glory be to God our Father and the Lord Jesus.

      Reply
    2. God Saves

      God does not base his love off of what you do. Jesus loves u no matter what. You dont have to go to Confession to ask God to forgive your sins; all you have to do is pray and tell God about it. He forgives. No matter what the sin, he forgives. You may remember the story of Jesus and the lady who poured perfume over his feet and wept. The people in the house asked how Jesus could let her touch him for she was a sinner. Do you remember what he said?? I encourage you to look it up. As far as u going to Hell, if you have asked Jesus to save you from your sins then you are covered! You dont have to be in constant worry- Jesus doesnt save based off of good works. I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any questions!

      Reply
    3. Barnabas

      Confess to God and ask for his help and also ask him to forgive you but I asked Jesus to cleanse you and his blood,then you will surely be forgiven

      Reply
  3. Stan

    Thank you for this. I struggled with porn for years in college. Then about a year ago, I quit cold turkey. But the desires started to creep back in in the summer and the fall, and I have given in a dozen times or so. I want to be free from this forever. I know that I am forgiven because I know the Spirit of God is within me convicting me of this sin. But I don’t want to grieve Him anymore. I want to be pure for once.

    Reply
  4. Taizya

    Ohhh lord and I was dying of guit thinking am the only one with that problem..I thank GOD for hvng read this I hv in the past strugled with this problem I would watch it everyday,but I hv since reduced to maybe once in 3 weeks I thank GOD for his mercy and I belive thru the strength of his mercy I will complety stop because he said though our sins may be as red as scarlet he shall us en he will be whiter than snow I that GOD for his mercy and I pray that he will deliver all of us by his mighty power and mercy.thankx a lot for your words.may the lord bless

    Reply
  5. Seth

    Thank you so much for your helpful words. I am struggling with this addiction and your words blessed by Gods are very helpful.o

    Reply
  6. Gerald

    Hey brethren may God bless your ministry, I am 24 years old young man and since I was a teenager I was dealing with porn addictions which produces masturbation. It became an intentional sin having the knowledge of the truth, I knew it was offensive to God. It was a daily habit to commit this sin, I felt guilty every time I committed this willfully sin so right away I ask God to forgive me but I kept on doing it again and again since my teenage. I am worried about my soul going to hell, I feel like there is no hope for me, I was so disobedient, rebellion against Christ, I willfully despite His sacrifice and His Holy Spirit even thou it was not my intention in my heart. Can I really be forgiven if I truly repent & seek God again. I want to.

    Reply
    1. Godsloveisgreater

      God will never get tired of forgiving. He sees your heart, he knows how much you have been trying to stop. There is nothing to great for his power. You are his child and He cares and loves you abundantly. You are not condemned to hell. The power of Christ is greater than any addiction and that blood that was shed on the cross has the power to break any chain. Trust in God and seek Him. And try your best to further yourself from this sin. Pray, fast and read his bible and its like the bible says in James 4:7
      “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” Jesus sought you worth dying for because you are important for Him. Believe it. God is waiting for you with arms wide open. Just run to Him and He will forgive…

      Reply
  7. rachael

    I hate myself, I hate my desires and how overwhelming it can feel… I have been hooked on porn day and night for about 3-4 days now I think..I don’t even know because time seems non-existent. I don’t even feel as hungry because I’m hungry for something else, I hate it, makes me feel even more worthless and awful. I just want to be free and happy again, I want real love. I miss God and goodness, I feel so guilty, I’m afraid to go to God because I’m afraid I’ll just slip right back into the addiction, I don’t want God to be mad at me. I What can I do I feel so trapped and lost, even more so I was trying to get away from that feeling from (Depression&anxiety) for a few years now this, why am I so worthless, I want to be someone&see it clear

    Reply
    1. Joel

      You are by no means worthless. Human, yes. We have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God, which is why he sent Jesus to save us. You are a unique and special person and God loves you no matter what you do. The sin he hates, yes, but not the sinner. We are all sinners. Ask Jesus for forgiveness and you will be. It is hard for us to comprehend sometimes as humans because we may set boundaries and give people 1or2 chances to break them but after that we give up on that person. God will never give up on you, he only asks you to believe in him and ask forgiveness his grace is eternal.

      Reply
    2. Kenneth

      Hello Rachael!

      Your post for help stood out to me! Because I have the same feelings of no self worth, ashame to face Jesus over and over agai. With the same issue of selfishness by my giving in to such evil temptations. However, in addition to the great advice of others who have posted solutions to this problem, remember, without God, we can do nothing! Some peoe can quit cold turkey. I have never been able to do that however, instead of trying to kick the habit on your own strength, pray for Jesus to take the desires away from you! Write a small list of scriptures out on a small piece of paper and tape them to your bathroom mirror that include, “resist the devil and he MUST flee”, ” He that’s in me is greater than he that is in the world.

      Reply
    3. Kenneth

      Kenneth here again. Also remember that even the devils are subject to the word of Jesus Christ. That is to say that they have to be obedient to the word of Jesus! So have a small list of spiritual warefare scriptures available to quote to the devil during times of temptation. Do not beat yourself up of the times you get selfish and weak and then give in to temptation! Jesus died for us while we were yet sinners. He will always unconditionally love you through the refinement of your spirit. But sincerely repent right away, He is faithfull to forgive 70 times 7 in other words He forgives always! Pray for Jesus to take the desires away from you. Sometimes it can happen overnight and once and for all and sometimes it takes time! Wait on Jesus!

      Reply
  8. Mike

    Pray and ask God for his forgiveness and help. The internet is way too accessible and corrupt. Remember the saying, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

    Romans 7:15-20 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, …

    Reply
    1. madisons on her cycle

      Thank you so much for this passage. I grabbed my bible and continued on through the end. And l thought Romans 7:24-25 ERV was spot on.
      “What a miserable person I am! Who will save me from this body that brings me death? 25 I thank God for his salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord! So in my mind I am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful self I am a slave to the law of sin.

      Reply
  9. Dee

    At no other time in history has there been such simple access to vast amounts of XXX content. The net has unleashed a flood of sexual content upon our era. Of course there is a struggle. Viewing sexual acts is extremely powerful. Any one of us can fail. But only one can deliver us from evil. Satan wants to keep us from knowing God’s love. Our lower nature desires fleshly gratification and seeing xxx feels good to the flesh. The Holy Spirit wants more for us than this. Thank God Jesus overcame the world. He tells us not to be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good. It is he who is good. Let us look to his spirit to free us from evil. He alone is able to deliver us from evil. Evil makes us feel dirty and far from God.

    Reply
  10. Kennedy

    I don’t know my self anymore!Am 17 in eleventh grade,got my very first view of porn in sixth grade while streaming the web for video games and since them,iv fallen prey to it until now.

    Just yesterday,and today i watched plenty of it while my fellow teens where going to attend church services.

    Pliz i need help!!,i don’t want to keep on living with this!

    Reply
    1. Jayden

      Kennedy, I am also 17 and started watching when I was around 11 or 12, and I remember the day I first saw it. I have slipped up many times and I know the guilt and shame that comes with that failure, and that is what Satan wants, for the shame to knock us down so bad we can’t get up. I gave it up for about 8 months then failed, I then tried to quit again and failed. Now I’m almost 4 weeks into my next attempt and it’s not easy, but God is bigger than this Porn demon. God knows your and my hearts and we must pray against this addiction because I am sure that if we fight it enough and continue to pray about it, God will pull that demon right out. I try to remember that God always provides a way out of these temptations.

      Reply
  11. jason

    Everyone,
    I am sure that all who struggle with this addiction have questioned their own Salvation. The thought entered my mind many times… and I am glad it did! I tried to shake it off and convince myself I was truly forgiven. I said a prayer when I was younger and “believed all the right things” as a kid (Salvation by grace alone through faith alone in Christ’s finished work on the cross, death burial resurrection). The problem was I was a rebel at heart. I never EXAMINED myself to see I I was I the faith (2 Cor 13:5). I realized my faith was in the sincerity of my “decision”, not Christ because I never considered the evidence of true salvation — sanctification! He came into my life, opened MY heart, tore me apart and…

    Reply
    1. Ben

      So many Christians doubt their salvation and looks for signs, second workings, and all that stuff. It’s by FAITH, and FAITH alone that we’re saved. That’s just your mind trying to make sense of something you can’t fully understand in your current state. You’ll always be a horrible nasty sinner in the eyes of God outside of Christ. We’ll never be perfect in this world. Even the most mature believers will struggle with sin. Just remember what John said in Revelation, “Come quickly!”. This world will always be a battlefield. The only hope we have is Christ. Focus on that… Love conquers all things… 🙂

      Reply
  12. gift Eugene

    please help I have been so so so addicted to porn….. my heart and life is filled with tears as I write this I just don’t wanna be a porn addict…. I wasn’t like this, I just don’t know what came over my life this few months. plssssssssss I need help. Oh God!

    Reply
  13. noname

    This is the truth that I always hidden from others. Because of this sin God had punished me and now I can only see with glasses but I still commit sins. I always regret after I did it and asked forgiveness to God. And sometimes I think that I can’t be forgiven and lost hope…. I really want to escape from this and now I have found the answers…. now I confess my sin to God and to all of you… thank you for sharing this.

    Reply
  14. emeka

    thank you very much it was really helpful to me. it was like you were referring to me perhaps God used you to help me..can i have a counselor who i can convey issues like this when it arise probably daily or weekly

    Reply
  15. Ben

    So many Christians have no idea what they’re talking about. God isn’t waiting to toss you into hell the minute you fail – that’s the devil. The Lord has already died for your sins, God sees his son . The problem is we forget what it means to be loved by God. It’s human nature to want a system or routine, but that doesn’t work. Each day is new, different, and a challenge. The first step to victory is understanding your inability. The only one able to defeat the enemy is God. Yes, the spirit of God (Holy Spirit) is in you, but you have to understand it’s not like a new pair of shoes. God is working in you, and through you, but YOU are still HUMAN. The best advice as a man in this current world is to flee and pray. God’s power, not…

    Reply
  16. Christina

    I rededicated my life to God three years ago after being save at 7 and not understanding what it really meant. I lived like the devil for years and still fight the desire to watch porn. I am closer to the Lord than ever now. I had gone three years without watching it until this afternoon. Being so close to Jesus I thought I would never watch it again.. The images and old fantasy’s returned to my mind and I completely defied the presence of God and watched then masturbated. I made a choice and followed it through. Wow! I feel unworthy to ask God’s forgiveness! I knew what I was doing was a slap in Gods face today and chose to do it anyway. I have been waiting on Gods guidance in a circumstance, praying and reading my bible every…

    Reply
  17. J

    What scares me the most is that my spirit feels dead inside…I keep running to porn and it’s like I hear in my head to “choose this day whom I will serve” and I keep choosing to serve my flesh…..and I don’t feel pained inside – I feel dead, I know it’s a law that if I sow to my flesh I will reap destruction. I know it yet I do it. I know when I’m sad or anxious I should run to Jesus – yet I find myself instead distracting myself by watching porn to just change how I feel. It’s been a few days straight this time. Worse than it’s been for a while. I want to confess and repent but I feel like I don’t truly mean like I used to – so what’s the point – I want to mean it, I want my heart to break for what breaks Jesus’ heart, but…

    Reply
  18. Ashley

    I also struggle with the same thing..it is really shameful even to ask God for forgiveness over and over again. All i want is to be free and to serve the Lord. But whenever i try to get away from this addition, it keeps coming back again. Only few months and i find myself in the same thing again. I also though God would not forgive me, But after reading this, i am really encouraged to do what i can from today on wards.

    Reply
  19. Ade

    we will all overcome by the power of Christ Jesus…it’s difficult to stop based on our human strength but with Jesus it Becomes easy…Don’t ever give up on God cos he never gives up on you!!! Blessings

    Reply
  20. Yinda

    I came across this from a link. I thought it was over. For 2 years i was free then i found myself in it. I feel bad and scared. I want to believe that God will forgive me. I did it on purpose. I don’t even want to go to church because I am scared. I don’t want to. It makes me feel dirty lonely…

    Reply
  21. Peter

    To cut to the chase I too am struggling with porn and masturbation and I always repent of this to God but the addiction of it seems to always seem to come back and I fall back into the trap of going back to it. What measures do you guys/girls take to combat the addiction? Have they been successful?

    Reply
  22. stephen

    Hi I know what you mean concerning these addictions. Yes I know these struggles to say no to that desire. The Word to encourage us, when JESUS was tempted, it is written from Matthew 4 v 1-11 niv, nkj and other versions of the bible. Don’t give up friends, keep going I preach this to myself.

    Reply

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