I Think I Have Lost My Salvation

Question from a Site Viewer
I am terrified that I have either fallen away or committed blasphemy of the Holy Spirit as the Spirit was trying to lead me to salvation. I know that I need Jesus in my life but am terrified that I am beyond repentance. I think I have lost my salvation.

I accepted Jesus as a teenager and have been an active Christian, serving the Lord, for years. But lately I have felt promptings from God that I need Jesus in my life. I didn’t understand and I argued with God about it, because I was active in the church, serving God and serving others.

The promptings from God subsided suddenly. I have been terrified ever since that I’ve lost my salvation. It has been over a year. I keep asking myself if God gave me over to a reprobate mind because I did not heed His call to salvation (Romans 1:28). I think about death and hell and no longer enjoy life. Is Hebrews 10:27 being fulfilled in my life? I am totally depressed. I am not eating right. My hygiene is bad. I am lazy and unmotivated. Life seems useless. I lost my job. I cannot sleep. I live in constant fear of condemnation.

I used to believe a person had until death to choose Jesus. Now I believe that a person can lose their chance for salvation. I think I have blasphemed the Holy Spirit. If I hadn’t, why do I feel so dead inside and rejected by God?

Am I really damned or is this a trick from the devil?

Tim’s Answer
I have lived long enough to know that a person cannot trust their thoughts or feelings. We may feel that we are saved and are not. We may think we are saved and are not. We may feel that we are lost and are not. We may think we are lost and are not. Our relationship simply is never based on our feelings. Many of the saints of old felt that God had abandoned them, or had become their enemy. Read Job 19, or Lamentations 3, or many of the Psalms. But He had not. Faith is counting God to be true to His promises even when one’s thoughts and feelings do not support that position. As the great apostle John says so well, if our hearts condemn us God is greater than our hearts and knows all things (1 John 3:20). Thus, we do not trust in our feelings, but we trust in God.

I also know that when evil thoughts get into our lives, it is difficult to get them out. Our brains are wired so that what we think about is what we eventually do or become. The more we allow our brains to dwell on matters, the more easily those thoughts dash to the surface of our thinking. We become slaves to what we choose to let our minds consider. The great way of overcoming bad thinking patterns is to renew our minds with Scripture. Memorization forces the mind to create new neural paths. Learning is key to new ways of thinking. This is why it is critical that we take to heart the admonition of Paul to think on good things (Philippians 4:8), to set our minds on things above (Colossians 3:2), to be transformed by the renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2). These are things we are commanded to do.

Now the question of whether you are saved I cannot answer for you, but I can tell you what Scripture says. Scripture states that whoever calls on the name of the LORD will be saved (Romans 10:13). Have you called? If you have, do you think His promise is true? More importantly, are you counting on His promise to be true? Faith is rolling ourselves over on another. Will you trust Him on this issue? When your mind comes and tells you that you are not saved, you need to remind yourself that He made a promise to you–if you call you will be saved. Having called, you are saved. We must trust Him!

Perhaps I am reading your question wrong, but it seems that it portrays an almost fatalistic approach to faith. I know that there are segments within Christianity that teach that God must give us our faith. I do not know if this is part of the teaching you have received. I note that theologians disagree on this point, with strong arguments from Scriptures on both sides. But whichever side is right (and perhaps both are only partly right), Scripture is clear on this point; namely, that God commands us to repent, He commands us to believe, He commands us to love Him and He commands us to follow Him. From our perspective, we cannot expect God to force us to believe, or to obey, or to follow. We simply must believe, obey, and follow. These are things we are commanded to do. We are not without hope. God has come and brought hope to the world through the proclamation of the gospel. Whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). God did not send His Son to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved (John 3:17). The one who believes in Him is not condemned (John 3:18). The offer of salvation comes to us. Will we receive Him (John 1:12)?

My suggestion to you is that if you have called on the name of Jesus Christ, then you now need to live differently. You need to count God to be true, stop worrying about your own salvation but trust your salvation with Him, and get about the task of doing His will. There are needs in the world that need to be met, people who need to be blessed, lives that need to be touched, kindness that needs to be shared, work that needs to be done. He has provided enough for each day for us to keep busy with His work in this world. We are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works (Ephesians 2:10). We must encourage each other to engage in good works (Titus 3:8). We want even those who speak ill of us to see our good works and glorify God in the day of visitation (1 Peter 2:12). We have a position of being His beloved ones. We have a calling to be His ambassadors, to represent Him well. Time is too short to sit around and mope about ourselves. No good servant ever focuses on his own needs. This is the point of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. We need not worry about what we eat, drink or have for clothing. But we must seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness. Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness will be filled. As God told Cain, if we do what is right, will we not be accepted?

I encourage you to stop worrying about being saved and start serving Him. As God taught Peter, in every nation whoever fears Him and works righteousness is accepted by Him (Acts 10:35). There are two great aspects to living the Christian life. The first is that we stay in tune with God. We need to listen to His Spirit, to take time personally to worship (adore) Him, and to praise Him. God is seeking worshipers (John 4:23) and He is well pleased with the sacrifice of praise (Hebrews 13:15-16). I suggest that throughout your day that you take time to stop and praise God for something, anything, everything. Keep God always in your thoughts. Communicate with Him always. The second great aspect is serving others. Even as Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve, so we are sent as servants into the world. Be a servant. But be a servant sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Learn not to lean on yourself even as you serve, but learn to lean on the Spirit. Always ask Him what He wants you to do; ask for His guidance. And then live life trusting that He is guiding you. He is faithful to do what we ask, when we ask for these things that are His will.

If you follow these instructions, your life will be changed and you will honor God and find Him once again close with you. Being with Christ is not some mystery. It is simply a matter of trust and walking every moment of every day in His presence, transforming our minds to do His will. I know that it may take some time for the feelings of closeness with God to return. This is because you have been so long in a wrong thinking pattern. Those evil thoughts will return again and again. But if you pursue what is right, over time those thoughts will diminish and you will experience greater and greater victories. And who knows, perhaps God will simply wipe those thoughts out and give you a restored mind quickly. We can always ask.

May the Lord’s Spirit guide you into His truth and welcome you to His side.

201 thoughts on “I Think I Have Lost My Salvation

  1. Michael

    People say don’t trust feelings, and I believe that to be a good advice for an unsaved person. But doesn’t scripture talk about God promising a peace that surpasses all understanding. I believe that is a reference to the fruit of the spirit which not only has peace but joy as well. I believe in the prodigal son, why else would the story be in scripture? Repent of whatever sin is in your life. Realize you can’t trust what people say, you have to trust in scripture and the Lord. I’m a hypocrite in this matter because I’ve been emailing and contacting everyone just about hoping to hear a view that sounds biblical and accurate. Our country has done all it can to destroy or water down Christianity. May God have mercy on us

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    1. Shawn

      I really struggle with an assurance of salvation. Someone asked me do you believe in Jesus? Believe is to cling to, trust in and rely on Christ alone. I have heard it said that the most simple gospel is ”Jesus in my place.” We must focus not on what horrible sinners we are, but focus on what a great savior He is.

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  2. Anon

    I have lost my salvation i was once an outgoing bubbly lady always helping family and friends the slowly it happened i was tempted and fell from grace as i put it i have had experiences which to some would be hard to believe now im unmotivated lost all drive for life all my interests are gone i no longer feel love which is the most agonising . I pray daily but dont feel the connection i once had i know that the lord used to guide me but now im lost to blaspheme the holy spirit is the worst thing anyone can do to loose the gift of love which is the main gift from God the whole purpose of life is soul quenching im scared every minute of every day i know i will go to hell when i die i wish i could be what i once was but i know i cant help me

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    1. Repro

      What experiences have you had? I know for certain that I lost my salvation fourteen years ago due to willful sin and rejecting the Spirit’s calls to repentance.

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        1. Repro

          When you live through years and years of calling out to Him in repentance and He does not answer you as He did before, you will know it. Also, evil spirits came on me and tormented me. My prayers and the prayers of others did no good. If you are backsliding and you hear His Voice, repent and be saved. Harden not your heart. It’s a dangerous thing to reject His calls.

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        2. Repro

          I did indeed lose my salvation back in 2001 as I said. However, He restored me a short while ago like a lost sheep. God is forgiving but let my experience serve as a warning. You will lose your spiritual life if you do not continue in Him. God is not to be toyed with. This isn’t a game! OSAS is a lie from Hell. Lukewarm Christians, wake up! He’s coming back soon and He’s only coming for those with a full oil lamp. This is not a video game. God is not mocked. Turn back to Him now while you still have breath in your bodies. If you have any desire to repent and turn back to God, it is because His Spirit is still drawing you. No man can go to Jesus unless His Father is drawing you to repentance.

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          1. Brad

            I’m wondering what you did for the 14 years that you were cut off. Did God give you any idea that you would be restored? I too disobeyed the Holy Spirit over the course of 3 months concerning a sin and one night my spiritual life completely dissolved in an instant. Nothing brought the Spirit back no matter what I did. I eventually attempted suicide twice, both times I believe God kept me alive but He never restored His fellowship. It has been 10 years now and I’ve just been living an ordinary life, but fight depression daily. I have tried to return to God but I realize that I only wind up living in my own strength and the power to live in Christ is not there, so I just give up. I can’t make anyone understand, its very frustrating.

          2. HJ

            Repro, Do you mind sharing your story of restoration? I’ve been going through experiences similar to many others and would love to hear some good news.

          3. Logan

            Hi can you tell more of your experience? How did God bring you back? I am trying to believe ok Jesus and put my faith in Him but feel disheartened. I know the Bible is true when it says all who believe on him will be saved but sometimes I worry my belief isn’t enough. Please tell me more of this wonderful grace you received.

      1. John

        If you truly received christ you cannot lose your salvation read ROMANS 8 and Hebrews the devil will make you believe lies stop believing the father of lies Ur a child of God use your God given power and rebuke him in the name of Jesus tell him the lord rebukes thee don’t let people tell you you lost your salvation nothing can separate you from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus no one can snatch you out of the fathers hands what he begun in you he will finish. Read the scriptures we are carnal and we go through cold spells in our walk to strengthen us pray without stopping satan is a deceiver don’t by into his lies God bless you you have not fallen from grace unless you reject the son of God completely.

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    2. Shawn

      We can often be misled by our changing emotions. When I read your post I can see that your focus isn’t Christ it’s me, me, me, I, I, I,. Just switch your focus to Christ alone.

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    3. melba guzik

      I’m sorry I’m getting in so late on this conversation. Tim’s thoughts and wisdom were excellent and scripturally sound. I been through these same thoughts and emotions. Had severe depression and ended up in psych unit over it. Some thoughts to consider. If it were possible to loose your salvation from a hardened heart. Why are you so concerned about it. I don’t think people who’s hearts are hardened care about there relationship to their God and Savior. The fact that you care and are mourning about proves the opposite is true Also I believe this to be deception. We can mistake human emotion or even depression. mental imbalance. chemical imbalance. or even physical Malaysia. for serious spiritual concern. Satan if you allow…

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      1. melba guzik

        continued will deceive you. There are scriptural examples. Jobs own thoughts terrorized him. But yet he trusted God. No where in the Bible is anyone told to give up because God. has given them over to a reprobate mind. Again if you concerned you don’t. As Job says even though He slay me I trust Him. Again Tim’s advice is sound. Don’t give up . Are thoughts and feelings will not have the final say. JESUS CHRIST Had the Final say when he hung on that painful cross. He said I thirst. Father. forgive them and. finally It is finished. Walk by Faith not by sight. I know these thoughts frighten you but trust that the Lord is with you even in these scary times. Sometimes our thoughts cause these feelins. Sometimes it’s something we…

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    4. Marc Trainor

      I just read that if you still have concern and a longing for God, you couldn’t have committed the unpardonable sin. I don’t think you have. Do what I did, and re=dedicate yourself to Christ. Confess that you have sinned, according to the Bible, we’ve all sinned and ask for forgiveness. He’ll take you back. In Jesus name., Marc

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    5. Sophie

      Hey, I know exactly how you feel! I’ve been there and I’m still here, I honestly can’t sleep or think probably and I feel like Jesus is gone forever, you’ve just got to put those feelings aside and start living for Jesus, do it day by day and start on the small things and build your way up, helping people, being respectful to others and bringing others to Jesus’ love and truth, it’s hard for me too! I always feel condemned and lost like 1000 miles away from God pressure! We have to push forward and keep praying persistently, we can get through this together, God bless you

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      1. Dee

        If you’re able to do these things maybe you’re going through a dry season. Sounds like u still have love in your heart for God

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      2. Jessica Geiswite

        Sophie i feel the same way !! It’s okay. Just hold onto the promises
        He will never leave you nor forsake you
        there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus

        People in my church tell me that if your worried then that means u didnt I will pray for you all. Listen to God…

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    6. Els

      I feel the same too! I’m constantly living in fear and I can’t feel love I see the world differently like a piece of me is gone. I’ve been feeling like this since march of this year.

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  3. matt

    This is a lie from satan you are not going to hell. I have read so many stories of people who think the same as you. One person thought they were going to hell because they got in a car accident and the other person died. Satan and ourselfs were condemning this person it was an accident it was her fault but it is wrong to think your going to hell. Your story is different. You were tempted and sinned. God knew you were going to do this when Jesus died on the cross, he paid for this sin back then. You are forgiven. Do you love God , do you want to tell God how much you love him and want to worship him? Tell God you love him draw near to him.

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  4. Repro

    Do not allow Satan to deceive you into thinking that you’ve gone to far. If you stay in your sins, you really will be lost. Turn back to Jesus now and He will forgive and deliver you from the evil that torments you. Do it now. After death, it will be too late for you. Do it now. Thank you for allowing me to post on your site. He truly does love us. 🙂

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  5. R.C.

    The problem was I had an obstinate heart. The seed was planted but since my heart was hard, the enemy came and took the seed that had been planted. I didn’t follow the Lord and His ways consistently, read his word daily, talk to him daily, ask for guidance daily, pause to consider any decision I had to make and check it to see what would be Biblically right, instead following my own, the Holy Spirit stopped convicting me and left me. I didn’t hold tight to my professed faith when I was first saved. You only get one repentance card for unknowingly or succumbing to temptation and sinning. I do not know anywhere in Scripture where it talks about people continuing in sin and a sacrifice that would absolve anyone.

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  6. R.C.

    Any sin you do and become knowledgeable of with conviction from the Holy Spirit, you need to repent and turn from that sin, taking extreme care to never do it again. It might be hard, the heavy gravitational pull on your spirit to do it may feel overwhelming, and you need to flee from any situation like that arises like this saying an emphatic “NO!!” and run away, even if it may mean death for you. But in the end this is how you assure your salvation for certain. That is how you conquer sin and turn your back on the ridiculing pawns that Satan uses to try to turn you toward the sin. I am just so sad this wasn’t revealed to me until my fate had already been sealed though I haven’t engaged in sexual sin for a few months now, all too late.

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  7. shawn

    We all sin most every day. I am not minimizing the horror of sin. It separates us from God, because He is holy. I am getting more and more a picture of His holiness and my total unworthiness. Scripture talks about the meek the humble…Scriptures also say with God ALL things are possible. You are not outside of His grip. Don’t run from Him. He loves the sinner and prodigal and outcast. Sin does result in death. My sin has never never never added a good thing to my life. Only in Christ is there peace, life, joy.

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  8. Teresa

    The Lord gave me direction for my life via two scriptures and instructed me to present myself as a living sacrifice daily and to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. (Moreover revealing to me that the path He had for me was one yet to be revealed through obedience). He was speaking to me about a relationship that I was in and called me to lay it down. I did not – I married the person and rejected the conviction/direction of the Holy Spirit. I haven’t felt the presence of The Lord since…no matter how much I pray, read the word, cry out. It’s been 22 years. I too worry that I have lost my salvation. There was so much i didn’t know then, but I knew in my heart what He was saying. This was willful sin and going my own way

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    1. Nick

      Our God does not love you based on what you do or don’t do. It’s because of what he has done. We are flawed human beings. God chooses to love us and work with us in the midst of our sin, Don’t let the devil convince you of otherwise, we are completely forgiven! Now, what scripture are you basing the loss of your salvation too?

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  9. shawn

    To me it seems like all of us depend way to much on our feelings. Do you think that you lost your salvation and that you can not get it back? Weep wail and beg for God to hear you. He will hear you. Fight with all that is within you to get your walk with Him back.

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  10. Brad

    Thanks for responding. Yes certainly I’ve had people throw scriptures at me and tell me I was just deceived and believing the devils lie. I have always been afraid that since this happened my soul was lost and unable to be saved. The Lord warned me with verses from Hebrews 6:4-6 while I was disobeying and for some reason even with that I was double minded. I guess I thought like most people do, that I would always be able to turn back. I’m wondering how it is that you have been restored if you had this experience?Was it just a time of discipline? I’ve always hoped that somehow there is a possibility of being with the Lord again but I haven’t held too tightly to that hope because It has led to a lot of confusion and sadness in the past.

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    1. Sally

      So many terrifying passages. Why did they only seem to hit me when ?I was trying to get back to God and recover what had been lost? It was as though I had been searching for comfort and found devastation.

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      1. HJ

        Hi Sally, I saw the warnings early on and they terrified me. I was so terrified of the warnings, that the fear was crowding out my trust. I was only a few months saved at the time, and I was confused and did not know how to fight with scripture. How are you doing?

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    2. HJ

      Brad, I know this post was six months ago, but I’m new here and going through something similar to you. I, too, believe the Holy Spirit warned me with Hebrews but I didn’t take away from it what I thought He wanted me to. Much later on, after the Holy Spirit stopped convicting me of sin, I reflected back on some of the convictions and was able to put it all together. It just wasn’t processing at the time. God knows our hearts better than we do, which gave me comfort at first, but as I go on, not feeling genuine love or emotion, feeling like my heart is hard, still crying out to God for repentance, I just don’t know. Repro’s story gave me hope. How are you doing? Have you experienced restoration at all with the Lord?

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    3. HJ

      Brad, I’ve had a similar experience. My faith in Christ was strong until a passage in the Bible unnerved me and I started doubting and getting fearful. This began about a month after getting saved and the fear took over and I tried to battle it with scripture, but I was constantly expressing my fears to others who kept assuring me. I prayed for help, patience, and grace but the fears turned into major panic attacks at the thought of being judged. The Holy Spirit warned me also with Hebrews but I thought He was leading it to me because I was confused about the food laws. When I told people about the warning, I’d hear “why would God want a baby Christian to know Hebrews?” He also showed me in a dream with words “it’s a sin not to…

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      1. HJ

        Belive o Jesus” I was confused, because I did believe. Later I realized He meant trust Him for salvation. All through the panic attacks I prayed, sometimes fasted, asked for more faith etc but nothing worked. All conviction stopped 4 months ago and then I was even in more terror of losing my salvation. Why didn’t God help me? I kept saying I hate fear, please take it away and fill me with your peace. Why would He leave to what I dreaded most? I still want to serve in His kingdom, but I am fearful, depressed, no fruit of the Spirit and my heart feels hard. People around me are repulsed at the message because they don’t want to end up like me. I know God was going to use me to witness and save family members.

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    4. HJ

      Brad, how do you reconcile God’s promise of never leaving us or forsaking us with this? I’ve been angry with God because to me, never means never, no matter what. It was one of the few promises I could cling to. I realize now, 6 months later, that God wanted me to repent. That was his leading, though I didn’t know it at the time. He wanted me to repent to believe on Jesus with the gift of faith and I disobeyed. I think it’s blasphemy. I don’t know how to function. My heart is still hard.

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  11. Brad

    Hi Jill,
    I too have had your experience and know the pain of feeling nothing and dead inside. It’s a terrible experience. I often feel hopeless when it comes to spiritual things but I just want to encourage you that life can still be lived. After 2 suicide attempts 10 years ago I now am married and have a career. It’s not the life I had in Christ but I believe God wants me to keep going doing what I can with what I have. I have been able to laugh and cry and love again, not the same and I still hope for God to rescue me one day. I went from being a zombie to feeling human to some extent again, I believe to live is the right thing to do, even though it seems so hard and agonizing and exhausting.

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    1. Julie

      i also feel sure i am going to hell. i had two miracles happen, one was seeing a chapel split from Heaven to earth when i swallowed Holy Communion. very close to God my whole life. 4 1/2 months ago, i fell into a trap from satan. i allowed people to believe i was depressed, when in reality i just screwed up. i keep committing the same sins- laying in bed, not taking good enough care of my mom, and i was not kind to each person i met. so many sins that i can’t remember them all. i feel i am either an apostate, flat salt, or a bad and unfaithful person. i feel no love in my heart. i miss God terribly… i think i’ve completely ruined my life and my salvation. i’m tormented all day and night with wanting a “do-over.” brad’s comment…

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    2. John Brandon

      Let me tell you that if you are going through what I am and are working and have a wife you are a badass dude. Seriously one of my hero’s whether it takes 50 years for restoration or not man. In a sense I kinda impress myself as well, because I went from having everything to absolutely nothing and haven’t given up yet. When I get tormented I just say to myself I’m gonna fight till I die. Trying to believe, trying to repent, trying to see, trying to obey, trying to rest, going insane trying to feel his touch in my spirit and deliverance. But if it never comes I’m still gonna try to love and see his love for me. Someone who still has life in them do me a favor and through the power of God jack up the devil for me by…

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  12. Nick

    I can assure you cannot lose your salvation. Since the beginning it has always been based on belief. Adam and Eve did not believe God thus they died spiritually. Because of the fall we are all born spiritually dead. Jesus came to restore the life that was lost in Adam to anyone who believes in Him. The devil can no longer kill us once we have been born again. The devil can only paralyze us to make us think we are dead and cut off from God. Many will perish because of unbelief in Christ. Many Christians are paralyzed and not sharing the gospel and getting to know their God because they believed the lie just like Adam instead of trusting what God said. I have much to say. Feel free to email personally phelps_007@icloud.com or call 6024103733

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  13. Nick

    I have been through the torment and it really does suck! Only for God to show me I was never cut off from him once I believed the gospel. He used that to teach me the true gospel which 90 percent of churches and theologians are not teaching today. There is much confusion and Christians are being paralyzed by false teaching. I appreciate his love and mercy so much now that I know and understand his love and mercy for me is not based what I do or not do but solely on belief in the gospel. This is the criteria he set. Once I embraced this truth fully it lit a fire in my heart and soul that can never be quenched! To know that He is not ashamed to call me his child and to give me his Spirit is the greatest FREE gift in all the world!!

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  14. S.H.

    I too feel the same empty feelings that everyone else is speaking of and it is awful. In my mind I keep hearing he hates me and I can never be forgiven. It hurts. All I want is for him to come back to me. Forgive and still love me . I lost so much because I hurt him and others in my stupidity. I do not want to go to hell but be saved again 🙁

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  15. Nick phelps

    I’m sure you have asked yourself the question, “Is there a God? Does he care at all about what’s going on down here on planet earth?” I assure you, this question does not show there is something wrong with God. Actually, it proves quite the opposite; it shows there is something wrong with us. So how did humanity become so far removed from their creator? Well, if you have read this far I hope you continue reading and allow me to explain. My deepest desire is to assure you there is a God and for you to know he deeply cares about you and all of his creation.
    In the beginning God created the first man and women (Adam & Eve) God created them in his image and likeness. Something else fascinating happened, besides being set apart from the…

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  16. Brad

    Repro I’m still amazed that you have said you were brought back by the Lord after 14 years. I was under the impression that this situation could not be reversed. How did it happen when you were brought back, how did He come to you, how did you feel if you don’t mind me asking??

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  17. S.H.

    Well to everyone here who has been going through hell thinking all is forever lost, as I wrote above for a long time I’ve felt/thought the same things. But God hasn’t left and what I’m sharing is from my heart.
    We fall into sin which does deprecate us from God and no repentance is even worse. He has shown me that it grieves the Holy Spirit but this doesn’t make turning back to Him impossible. Especially when ALL things are possible for Him. It’s easy to lose hope and wonder where faith went when that horrible empty dead feeling is there. For me it’s been a matter of reclaiming who we are in Jesus and especially in the midst of hardships and thinking I’ve gone too far to be loved or
    forgiven is the worst. But God IS love…..

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  18. S.H.

    Continued: so if He is love and Jesus went through the cross for me/us , then even if I fell away I’m not giving up or into these feelings that all is lost. I’m gonna keep standing in faith and praise Him in the storm. I’m not gonna give satan what he wants and I am determined to love God and others even if I feel so lost. He can and will come back not that He actually left. He never leaves or forsakes us and will not cast away anyone who wants to be with him. I’ve just begun to hear Him again. It might be hard and take time but it’s worth it and so are all of us. He won’t cast off forever but His love and mercy does endure forever….. Don’t give up and don’t let satan win! With much love….

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  19. Jess

    I have fought suicide/depression for the last few years. I pretty much lost my faith overnight. I have tried everything that I can think of to get better, but I’m still barely hanging on. I don’t belong in church anymore. I used to love church it was the only place I used to belong. Now I’m not sure where I belong, if anywhere. I keep trying to figure out how to get back to where I was when I loved my faith and life and myself. I wish more than anything I could get back, but is that even possible? The only reason I try is for my family’s sake; they don’t have a clue what I’ve been going. I go through the motions of going to church and pretending nothing’s wrong with my faith but I just don’t feel anything in church now. Can anyone…

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  20. melba guzik

    Must go through the fire your faith is being tried. This walk is not easy JESUS told us so. Your in good company . Read. Job . Read how he felt but yet put his trust in God. The. Apostle Paul had feelings of terror also. So much it says he despaired of his very life. He goes on to explain this happened so he would trust God and not himself. Hold on Brothers. and Sisters. We. are in a storm. Times are hard. Satan’s time is short. Look up for our redemption is closer than when we first believed. I love you all in The Lord so much. He hears your moans. Your suffering. Trust him . We are on our way Home.

    Reply
  21. Sam Richardson

    Me too. I can identify with everyone here who thinks they lost their salvation. My heart is so hard and my hope is so gone to the point I can’t worship, pray, or read the bible meaningfully. I understand the frustration trying to talk to people who just don’t get what we’re going through. I would love to cry out to Him but I can’t shed a tear. Mechanically I confess all my sins, forgive everyone I can think of but without emotions and it seems so insincere. May God have mercy on us all.

    Reply
    1. Nick phelps

      Hope is not lost Sam, feel free to email personally whenever, I have been there and Thank God he allowed me to go through it so he can truly reveal to me what grace is. Now it is my duty and pleasure streghthen and share the truth of Gods grace. Phelps_007@icloud.com email open for anyone who wants to talk.

      “but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.””
      ‭‭Luke‬ ‭22:32‬ ‭ESV‬‬

      Reply
    2. HJ

      Hi Sam, How are things going with you? I can relate to the mechanical feeling, lack of emotion, and it’s terrible. Have you had any progress with the Lord?

      Reply
    3. HJ

      I only walked with God for a year. From the moment I was saved, there was mass confusion, voices, dreams. I needed constant deliverance. No matter what I did I could not rest in His promises, fear took over and crowded out my faith. Then he gave me another chance and I disobeyed the Spirit’s leading. My life fell like dominoes in a year. My heart is hard. My faith was attacked from the start. I am in utter despair. I never got a chance to know him or glorify him. I don’t know why I was born.

      Reply
  22. Chris

    I’m afraid I’ve hardened my heart through willful sin. I looked at porn over and over while knowing it was wrong. I was on fire for God and it was taken from me in one night. I’ve been tormented by evil spirits for 5 years now. What gives me hope is once in awhile I feel His love again! It doesn’t happen very often but it does happen. We have been taught legalism which is a list of dos and dont’s. When we fix our eyes on Jesus and truly believe in His love and forgiveness we are set free. But my fear is that my willful sin has caused my unbelief. I’ve had 3 suicide attempts because of the mental and physical torture that this has caused me. My wife divorced me, I don’t get to see my kids very much, but I’m not giving up on God.

    Reply
  23. Chris

    When Peter looked at Jesus he walked on water. When he looked at the waves he sank. When the Israelites looked at the brass snake on the pole (a foreshadowing of Jesus on the cross) they were healed of their snake bites! I’m saying this from experience! Look to Jesus!! Not your sin. Satan fights dirty. He will bring up all of our sins and accuse us. We are to fix our eyes on Jesus though, not our sins or our list of Do’s and dont’s. Break free from legalism and believe in a God that will never give up on us. This is what I fight to do everyday.

    Reply
  24. Shawn

    God is merciful. Where there is life there is hope. Look at the parable of the prodigal son. He didn’t even return for good and godly reasons, but selfish ones. He didn’t seem to be thinking ” I really miss fellowship with my father.” NO he was hungry and destitute. Maybe you can lose your salvation, but maybe you can be saved again. I am not sure. Part of me thinks that once you are saved and an adopted child than it is hard if not impossible to become out of Christ. If you were outside of Christ why would you even be interested in this blog. You would love your sin.God knows that we have feet of clay and are made of dust. Read psalm 51 Davids psalm of repentance…

    Reply
    1. Repro/Kenjin

      Shawn, when it comes to salvation, forget what you think. Forget what you feel. Read the Word and learn the truth. The entire truth. Even the parts that don’t make you feel warm and fuzzy. Time is almost up and this is not a game. He is coming for a blameless Church unstained from the world and all its pollution. Jesus made it unmistakeably clear what happens to those who do not continue in Him. Wake up!

      Reply
    2. Repro/Kenjin

      There is indeed hope as long as one is still alive. Backsliders can indeed repent and return to Jesus, but sin always has and always will bring death. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling. John 15:1-10. Romans 8:5-14. Notice in verse 13 of chapter 8 in Romans says “You will die”. Who can and will die if they choose to live according to the flesh? The Brethren mentioned in verse 12 are the ones who will die if they walk in the flesh and reject the leading of the Holy Spirit of Christ. It is a choice. God will not force you to remain in Him nor will enter Heaven if you do not do His Will. Unbelievers cannot die, for they are already dead and will continue to dwell in death unless they come to Christ .1 Corinthians 9:24-10:8.

      Reply
      1. Teresa Lenz

        Repro, you are right. 23 years ago the Holy Spirit gave me specific direction for my life. The Lord said “No – that’s not for you”, and I did it anyway. It was a fear based decision, but I knew that I was not following Him by doing this. I chose to reject the inward witness and in doing so, walked straight away from it. The time to repent, was before I did it. In doing it, I rejected the Holy Spirit (The Lord) for my life. I could not remain in Him on the path I chose, because I wasn’t following Him. I woke up years later to find that my salvation was gone. It’s very bitter and very real. John 15:1-10 and Romans 8:5-14 are sobering realities. Salvation CAN be lost and you will know it.

        Reply
      2. Teresa Lenz

        Furthermore, there is a difference between backsliding and rejecting the Holy Spirit’s leading. I wasn’t backslidden when the Holy Spirit spoke to me, and I wasn’t intending on heading into sin. Something came into my life that the Lord told me to lay down and he told me immediately. I KNEW IT! I didn’t lay it down, I took it. One can return from backsliding and repent. One cannot return from rejection of the Holy Spirit. They will know they are rejecting the one that leads to repentance. It’s a whole different ball game than sin’s you can turn from. This really needs to be spoken here. Truth does save, but we have to walk in it. We can’t depart from it and still be saved.

        Reply
        1. truthsaves Post author

          Teresa, this is so wrong. Where does the Bible say that you cannot return to Christ? What about Jonah? What about the prodigal son? What about the Israelites when they built the golden calf? Throughout Scripture God tells his people to return to Him. (Joel 2:13; Hosea 14:1; Zech. 1:3; Job 22:23; Jer. 24:7; Is. 59:20; Jer. 3:22). These are just a few verses; there are many more. If we look to Scripture we see that God always wants his people to return to Him. Furthermore, God promises salvation to those who believe is Jesus Christ (John 6:40; Ephesians 1:13-14). You can return to Him. Accept His promises and live in faith.

          Reply
  25. Nick phelps

    “Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.””
    ‭‭John‬ ‭6:29‬ ‭NIV‬‬

    Salvation is so simple, it is easy for the devil to Decieve and mess with your head. This is why we can’t look to ourselves, we must look to Christ!

    “But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.”
    ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭11:3‬ ‭KJV‬‬

    “For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe.”
    ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭1:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

    Reply
  26. Tyler

    To Teresa, Jill, Sam, S.H. , Brad and Repro,

    My name is Tyler. I’m afraid that I’m dealing with the same condition of a hardened heart and no hope of restoration. If you don’t mind would any of you be willing to chat via email. I’m struggling with this everyday and like you all said no one understands. I hope that we can be of some encouragement to one another. If you wish to contact me I can add my email address below

    Reply
    1. truthsaves Post author

      Don’t ever believe that you have no hope of restoration. Jesus desires that all come to Him. We all have a choice to discard our sins and return to Him.

      Reply
      1. W.S. Hite

        Thank you for this. After my sin/mistake I got very OCD over my salvation and if I could still be loved and forgiven. It’s been a nightmare and as Repro experienced I was afflicted with demon oppression. Hebrews 6 & 10: 26 scared the crap out of me!

        Reply
    2. S.H.

      Tyler you can email me if you want
      I’m still having a very hard time but am hoping for restoration in time
      It hurts to feel like we’ve lost God and have fear instead when perfect love casts off fear

      Reply
    3. Sam Richardson

      Tyler you can email me and anyone else who is struggling with the same condition and just needs some encouragement.

      Reply
    4. Repro/Kenjin

      I’m here, Tyler. I used to be on another website with people like you/me, but it was recently shut down due to hackers and potential government interference. I turned back from serving Him and suffered intense demonic torment for fifteen years because of it, but last year, He finally delivered me. He led me to two servants of His who hear from Him on a regular basis and they delivered messages to me from Him telling me that He was still available to me and He told what I needed to do to be delivered. He really came through for me. Now, the hard part is staying above water. He is not denying you access to Himself. It is the deception of the enemy.My life now is not easy as I caused much spiritual damage to myself by opening myself up to…

      Reply
      1. youps

        I have the same experience. Leaving God, losing the Holy Spirit. But it is the enemys lie, as you also say, that it is over. It really is a journey back, but its amazing to discover that God is still there!!! My first step was to believe the people – who I really know knows God and His love – who kept on telling me that it is not over – finally I chose to believe what they told me. I chose to say yes to be alive and to take responsibility for my life! In small steps. Clean my dishes, make dinner, eat, sleep, be nice to my parents etc etc… And also – to “obey” the thoughts I got eventhough they did not feel spiritual at all! “I need a job” “I should ask my friend about this” “I’m hungry” etc etc. Step by step God lets me know…

        Reply
    5. Repro/Kenjin

      I do not know if I will ever be able to get back to the way I was when salvation was still fresh. When I was truly like a little child in faith before the Lord when I was twenty years old and just before dying spiritually, but at least now I know that there is still hope. Do not listen to Satan’s lies or even his liars in human form who say thta salvation cannot be lost. Yes, it certainly can, but the Lord can and will deliver you from the oppression of Satan and restore you to life as long as you are still living. Maybe I’ll set up an email account where we can speak freely. Believe me, I know what it’s like to be surrounded by lukewarm Christians and those who do not under the harsh reality of existence in this world and spiritual…

      Reply
      1. HJ

        Repro, please reach out to us. I am in utter despair. My heart literally feels hard and think I’ve lost salvation. I cannot get deliverance.

        Reply
        1. Repro1/Kenjin

          Jesus has opportunity for all of those who are still alive and on the Earth. If you’re still breath, there’s hope for salvation. Call on Him in repentance and remove anything in your life that offends Him and keeps you from Him. NOTHING, not even your family or your hobbies come before Him. He is your one and only. Your All In All. You may have to fast as I did to remove layers of demonic oppression and possession as I did. Never give up. THEY WILL try to set your soul on fire with terror and despair in order to get you to give up, but fight on. The Lord is waiting to touch you, even if it does not currently feel this way. You wouldn’t care about getting right with Him had He not been drawing you by His Spirit. This is what He said to…

          Reply
  27. Tyler

    S.H.,

    Glad to hear you still have hope. Would you mind providing your email address so we can talk? Hope things get better for you

    Reply
  28. L-G

    I too think i have lost my salvation and am in the same conditions as you, i have bacsliden in such ways, been given so many chances, one day i thought “thats it, i will never stop sinning, i might aswell give my aelf over” right at that moment i stopped feeling God prompting me, im petrified, can sleep, barely eat, barely tidy as i just find it all pointless, my house constantly look ñime someone threw a grenade in it, i enjoy nothing as i just feel like guilt and shame and sorrow, no matter what i do. I have tried praying and reading for the past 6-7 days, done barely anything but, i barrly get anything but not much that convinces me, im in doubt fear and worry, i feel like im in Sauls position when God left Him. Im doomed….

    Reply
  29. Julie

    has anyone here had the Holy Spirit return to them? or the love in their heart come back? i was so close to Jesus eight months ago- i even had miracles take place. i think i invited satan in. now it has been what feels like constant sin for eight months- even the things i do right feel like sins. i am so miserable. i cry constantly praying that i can go back in time to change this. i’m suicidal often, and can’t fathom spending the rest of my life this way. please, Jesus, just let me go back and make everything perfect! i hate my sins.

    Reply
      1. Julie Anne Lemieux

        i’m hanging in there. i had a good evening yesterday. it has been almost 14 months now. i can feel a little love in my heart, a blessing! i’m trying to do what i can to fix the situation- to bring Jesus’ good news instead of being a dark pall to others.

        Reply
        1. HJ

          That’s good to hear, after such a long time! Before you felt love in your heart again, did you feel a hardness in your heart, or just numbness?

          Reply
          1. Julie

            hi hj, i still have a hard heart. i’m hoping that i can feel a little love, but i’m not sure i am. i beg God to take me back in time. all i want to do is lay in bed, cry, and waste time on Facebook.

        2. HJ

          Hi Julie, When you speak of having a hard heart, do you mean it literally, and that you can actually feel the hardness in your chest? This is what I am exoeriencing, but when I tell people, they think I’m speaking emotionally, but this is physical. I don’t know if one can return from this state or not. I was hoping to hear stories of restored fellowship. I have no joy in life, and don’t sense the holy spirit. Since this happened, I have received some words from a reliable source but they have not materialized spiritualky, so I don’t know what to think. I only walked with God for a year. I’m afraid I fell away.

          Reply
          1. Julie

            hi hj, i can tell there’s so much hope for you because you care so much! the hardness in my heart feels physical and emotional. i constantly go to Confession. the last Priest i saw said i was not guilty of sin, and just gave me a blessing. i told him i am laying in bed and crying, and suicidal. he, and most people, think i am just depressed.

        3. HJ

          Hi Julie, Do you feel the hardness of your heart like I do? I try to tell people but they think it is emotional, not physical. I keep praying for a soft heart

          Reply
  30. Brad

    I’m in the same situation as others. I’ve disobeyed God and His warnings and ten years ago my spiritual life dissolved in an instant. I no longer have the indwelling of the Spirit. What has been hard though is knowing wether it is helpful or not to believe the situation can be reversed or not. Does Hebrews 6 not say it is impossible to be renewed to repentance if we fall away??? Being separated from God is terrible, but having a false hope is also exhausting and terrible. I’ve nearly completely given up believing God will ever restore me. People think if you have fallen away for real you wouldn’t be here because you’d be off loving sin and wouldn’t care about God. That’s not true. If you fell away and have been restored, would u…

    Reply
  31. Brad

    (Continued) if you have had an experience that you fell away ( by that I mean no longer have the indwelling of the Spirit) and God restored His indwelling would you describe this please. That is what I hope is possible, but also what I fear is not. The way I have been living is quietly, one day at a time, trying to be productive with what’s before me. I found trying to be included in Church again was not beneficial because without the Spirit I only went through the motions and was building a legal foundation in my own strength again, which also brings death. Sin is death, so is striving to be righteous apart from Christ. I live trying to just accept what I am, feeling this is the most honest. I want to hope, but I don’t want a false hope

    Reply
    1. HJ

      Brad, you mentioned you are able to love again. Is this love a feeling you have in your heart, or is it more in your head? Do you feel a hardness in your heart?

      Reply
  32. Heather

    Hi, I found this blog because I too have been going through many of this thoughts, feelings, and fears. Nobody has mentioned feeling convicted by the Holy Spirit, which was what I used to feel. I haven’t been convicted of sin in over three months, and I cry out to God daily, but if feels as if my prayers are unanswered or unheard. Does anyone have the experience of not being convicted by the Holy Spirit for a period of time, and then He comes back again?

    Reply
  33. Heather

    I also want to add that I learned the hard way that I don’t think we are to go out and do “good works” like feeding the poor, helping the needy, etc. I took the biblical commands literally and went out and started doing these things, but the Holy Spirit was convicting me that I needed to have faith instead of works. He convicted me in several ways of this, but for whatever reason I wasn’t “getting” it. I confused all the necessary components: faith/works, and dead works versus fruits of righteousness. What I believe the Spirit was telling me was that I was to wait to be lead into good works by the Spirit, and not of my own doing. I took Jesus’ commands literally.

    Reply
  34. HJ

    Hello All, I was wondering if there have been any updates with anyone on this thread. I’m hoping for some good news, and hearing for restored relationships with the Lord. I’ve been praying, reading the bible, but feeling desperate. I know the Holy Spirit is still active in my life to some extent because I am able to discern the bible, but I have a lack of conviction when it comes to sin. Anyone else experiencing this? I believe mine stems from weak faith.

    Reply
  35. Wade

    I could say a lot more, but basically I think I’m lost b/c I know what I need from God and I can’t get it, I simply need to look at Jesus with confidence, that is the essence of salvation and I can’t get there.

    Reply
    1. John

      I used to be on the same website as repro. Been five years now since this all began. Lost the spirit, or my sensitivity to him. Seared concious. Hardened hart. Severe demonic possession in my inner being it seems. Spiritually blind. Unable to believe it seems. Can’t repent. Renewal seems impossible. Learned that if you think you’re unpardonable than you can still intercede for others, tell people about Jesus ect. If you did it you’re going to hell but can still fight the one who temped you to look back to the world and lose your eternity. You can also speak scripture to believers and equip them to better fight. If this recently happened to you and you’re about to “check” out of this world – DONT. There are still happy moments ahead…

      Reply
      1. John

        You will fight to survive now. Life ain’t easy, but man up (talk to God still) and put one foot in front of the other.

        Reply
    1. Repro/Kenjin

      Yes, I’m around, but I am currently not in a position to give an uplifting message. If In have any good news in the future, I’ll share it. I do not want to lie and say everything is okay when it’s not. The good news is that God is constantly making it clear that He’s still here for me even when things look bleak. The harsh reality is that I dug a really deep pit for myself, and getting 110% out of it is a nightmare. Modern day Christianity is I’ll equipped to deal with people like us. They do not realize just how deadly worldly living is. They think, “Well, I’m with Jesus now! So, everything is set!” Not so. We must always be on guard against turning back or this can happen. We sin and bring ourselves into all manner of demonic…

      Reply
  36. John Brandon

    Thank God that I found this website…. I also used to be on the website that repro was on. I have been severely tormented by Demons for 5 years now. I want to repent, but my heart is so filled with evil and hardened that, like Esau, I seem to only want the blessing of being renewed. My conscious seems so seared that it doesn’t really care or convict of the sin that caused my death. I want to go back but Hebrews says its impossible now to renew me to repentance. In my opinion If you were ever truely born again than there is hope. My trouble was that although I was rescued out of this sinfull world through knowledge of Jesus, I was not willing to confess him in front of many witnesses ( too much of a coward). I believed in him and trusted

    Reply
    1. John Brandon

      . Sad thing is that I have probably continued going to church for 4 out of the 5 years with no relief. And these are biblical almost Pentecostal Christians. My mom and dad and brother are going to be in heaven for eternity while my I am eternally tortured. Before all this happened God warned me that I was sinning unto death because I read it and felt convicted of it. I met with a christian and had another christian pray for me because I felt I couldn’t go further in my faith. Then one night I was basically tricked into going to a party and my uncircumcised heart said ” just put God on your back for the night and repent in the morning”. Premeditated watching porn on the car ride home and did it under almost no temptation at all like a…

      Reply
    2. HJ

      John I have a question. You said you weren’t willing to confess Jesus and this was a sin. Did you get a warning from the Holy Spirit or did your heart just harden the next day? Also, are you dealing with pain in other areas of your body as well? BAck, etc?

      Reply
      1. Jb

        I had warnings from the holy spirit to step out in faith but I was cowardly. I then starting feeling strongly that I needed to confess Christ but was to cowardly when opportunifty arrived. I prayed not to be a coward or ashamed of other christians, but not enough. Then I started feeling if God hated me because I felt that although I wanted to be born again fully, that I was stuck at point A in my faith. At this point severe discouragement set in and even laziness, which I prayed and watched sermons about. Then one day I got distracted from seeking and was entertaining myself with one of my idols when for a second I saw Jesus weeping over me. He knows man will seek and not be able. Before I turned my back he weptold knowing I was headed dow

        Reply
        1. Jb

          Down a treacherous road. The Holy Spirit tried to help me so many times it’s a serious shame. Loss of words over here right now. I truly don’t know whether to keep seeking him and living for the moments of a morsel of hope ( which have been torented and sinned out of my sorry butt) or if it honors him more to try to just live a life where I help my family and don’t think about trying to find repentance and torture myself. If I go after finding God I will lose even more than I already have and possibly end up homeless or insane, if I go after leading a normal life I may be on my death bed one day with serious regret about not trying till death to findo him again. On the other hand it says human effort avails NOTHING

          Reply
          1. HJ

            If we can’t do anything to stay saved, why is there a way to fall away? He either keeps us or he doesnt. The people who I know who believe in OSAS seem to have great walks and don’t see any of the warnings I did.

  37. John Brandon

    Then could never repent since then no matter what I tried. I would skin myself alive for another chance….literally. I get glimpses of mental hope (probably wishful thinking) followed by long periods of a variety of different torment. I think I literally committed Eternal sin my friends. Wow. Nothing like it

    Reply
    1. John Brandon

      When it first happened and spirits where tormenting me beyond insanity I asked God for a sign. Looked up, and there was a poster that said NEVER GIVE UP, NO MATTER WHAT.

      Reply
  38. Nick phelps

    Once you are made spiritually alive by the Holy Spirit, you can never spiritually die, because Christ died for ALL of our sins. That means I don’t have to pay for one sin. We have the freedom to worship and know our God unlimitedly. He can now love and accept us completely even in the midst of our sun he will never leave us because he made a promise and swore upon himself. Adam brought sin and death, Christ came to give forgiveness and life.
    the devil never wants you to know the truth, he wants keep us in fear, doubt, anxiety. So we never share our faith or grow to maturity in Christ. He knows once we know the truth we will be set free and his power of bondage will be broken.

    Reply
    1. HJ

      Nick, I want so desperately to be set free, but fear I have come to a place of no repentance. like Hebrews talks about. Somewhere along the line, I started keeping the law out of fear, and lost my faith. It’s easy to understand objectively, but subjectively, the enemy messes with your mind in ways I wasn’t aware of when i first got saved. There was so much confusion. I want to live forever with Jesus, but fear that I believed a lie that cannot be undone.

      Reply
    2. Jb

      Then what happened to Saul? What happened to cain? What happened to Judas? What wold have happened to Ryan on this website had he succeeded in killing himself. They all experienced death after experiencing life. Ezekiel 33:18 If a righteous man turns from his righteousness he will surely die. HOW CLEAR IS IT

      Reply
      1. Bryanna

        i would assume that they didn’t truly repent of their sins. Saul made excuses and only acknowledged what he did after he found out he was going to lose his reputation and kingdom. i worry that my “repentance” is equivalent to Saul’s. It’s like im only “repenting” because i don’t want to go to hell. Its horrible how i cant seem to have godly sorrow over my sins and iniquities.

        Reply
  39. Brad

    Hi HJ, I haven’t had any change in my heart, I have not experienced a spiritual restoration. After the initial shock of this experience wore off I came to a point where I accepted my condition and decided that I would do what I was able to do, and accept that I was not able to live righteous in Christ. I’m doing my best to provide for my family,. Although I know we can feel worthless in this condition, I nearly succeeded when I attempted suicide. I felt my spirit leaving my body and I saw demons and heard the Lord weeping saying ” no my son, my son”. The doctor said I should have brain damage with the amount of drugs I took, but I’m ok. Clearly God saved me and wants us to know our lives have value despite. How long have you been in…

    Reply
    1. HJ

      Hi Brad, I failed a faith test He gave me and the next day I woke up with a heavy hardened heart. I fear I fell away in unbelief because I kept doubting. I know the truth but my mind could not rest, no matter what I did. I walked for a year. Do you feel a physical hardness in your heart?

      Reply
      1. Jb

        Me and you feel very similar things in our heart it sounds like. Very similar experience. Woke up with a ten lb weight on our chests

        Reply
    2. Luis Garcia

      the separation experience is probably different periods of time according to the condition of each of our hearts. like an idiot even after i felt i was coming back, i still went and backslid because i believed i was unworthy and God didn’t want me anymore, i have realised this really i satins voice as (notice) that all these thoughts seem to do is bring you back to your sin to the point of hopelessness, THATS EXACTLY WHERE THE DEVIL WANTS YOU. i think the sin keeping us under, is not believing in Jesus for us, that he can and still wants to save us!! why did he call Brad “My son” and spare his life soundly!!

      Reply
  40. HJ

    I need help. I am scared that I have fallen away. I was saved one year ago, and my faith crumbled within a few months due to scripture I took out of context and other fears. I went through a long period of discipline where I received many deliverances and words from the Lord. He came through for me and blessed me with the gift of faith, but he wanted me to build up the faith gift first and I did not do this. I don’t know why. I saw what he wanted me to do, but my mind could only focus on the fact that he was communicating with me, and I overlooked the importance of the message. He gave me a test and I failed, showing I was not trusting Christ for salvation. I woke up the next morning with my heart hard and very heavy in my chest…

    Reply
  41. HJ

    like Hebrews talks about. In one year, I lost my job and almost ruined my marriage. I’m struggling with severe depression. I can’t wrap my head around the idea that I could have lost my salvation in one year, but more and more I look like Esau and it’s terrifying. I prayed constantly for a soft heart, a soft will, and not to test or provoke God. I can’t believe this is happening. My life went from a dream to a nightmare in one year. I was so terrified of blaspheming the holy spirit, but I think this may have happened. I now have pain in my back and sides, places I never have before. I just want to love God and others. Can anyone else relate, or was restored after this condition? I still feel like a baby christian in so many…

    Reply
  42. HJ

    I walked with the Lord for one year, and it seems to be over. My life is in complete ruins. I don’t fully understand how I came to a point of disobeying the Spirit’s voice, but I think that is what happened. Somehow, I lost my faith twice in one year. My heart is now hardened and I have back, neck and side pain I’ve never had before. I was fired from my job of fifteen years and my marriage which was very good before, is now in shambles. My husband hates me and I know he wants a divorce. I was under severe torment for most of this year. I don’t understand those who have an easy walk with the Lord. The first time I lost my faith because I was in terror of falling away after seeing the Hebrews warnings.

    Reply
  43. HJ

    I am desperate for help. Please tell me if you have experienced a hard heart, where you feel the actual hardness, but have gotten deliverance from the Lord. I am terrified I am in a place of no repentance. My life is in ruins. I have heard of people getting deliverance, but I am battling depression and despair. I only walked with the Lord for a year. I have no love feeling in my heart anymore. I am scared for the future. Please help me.

    Reply
    1. Luis Garcia

      Your comment is awaiting moderation.
      Hi HJ, i have read your conversation with Repro and HJ and i am in a very similar situation, i have discovered one thing though. what Repro is talking about is absolutely possible but it is partly by what is being said by others, basically, you really have to want to, and make your self want to and scream and cry for God to make you want to, till you are convinced you really do want to follow Him, at the same time, do what has been said on this post, remember who Jesus is, what he has done, what he stands for, what He came to do. i am hopping that rather than a loss of salvation this is rather a temporal punishment separation so we can experience what it means to lose salvation..continues below

      Reply
      1. Luis Garcia

        the separation experience is probably different periods of time according to the condition of each of our hearts. like an idiot even after i felt i was coming back, i still went and backslid because i believed i was unworthy and God didn’t want me anymore, i have realised this really i satins voice as (notice) that all these thoughts seem to do is bring you back to your sin to the point of hopelessness, THATS EXACTLY WHERE THE DEVIL WANTS YOU. i think the sin keeping us under, is not believing in Jesus for us, that he can and still wants to save us!! why did he call Brad “My son” and spare his life soundly!!

        Reply
      2. HJ

        Hi Luis, Thank you for responding. I definitely know I want to follow the Lord, that’s never been an issue. My issue has been my ability to rest in his promise for salvation. I think I’ve reached a point where it is impossible for me to rest. Has anyone else experienced this? Most people I know don’t doubt their salvation at all, but struggle with other types of sins. I hate that I ever doubted God’s word. I hate that I didn’t know how to put those doubts to rest, because I know, deep down, that God does not lie.

        Reply
  44. Suzanne Hite

    I’ve got a question to those of you who feel like Holy Spirit left
    The emptiness feeling, how long does this last…. Nick you’ve said we can’t spiritually die so is this an illusion perhaps
    The feeling like something did die?
    I’ve received many encouraging words and many promises of hope and restoration yet find I still struggle to feel or hear Him
    It is like reaching out into the darkness hoping to catch hold but feeling all the more lost
    I know the word and the truth
    I have known His presence in me and through me but after I had my breakdown I just can’t seem to experience Him like that again and it’s frightening at times
    I so long for my Jesus again
    How long???? All I want is either what I know
    Thank you to anyone who…

    Reply
    1. Nick Phelps

      It is a gradual process, that goes from years, to months, to weeks, to days. I still get doubts from time to time, but able to bounce back in minutes, because i have saturated myself with the truth! I have a sure foundation in Christ that cannot be shaken. Trust me, keep seeking the truth of a righteousness by faith alone! keep renewing your mind to the truth just as Paul encourages us to do. I can assure God is not mad at you, he loves you, He did not die for us just lose us; that would mean he failed the mission. He longs for his children to know how much he loves and completely accepts them, so they can to mature in the inheritance he has given us.

      Reply
      1. HJ

        Nick, I tried to so hard to do this. I spoke, prayed and meditated the Word endlessly. No matter what I did, I’d feel fear. I tried to override the fear with the truth. Every time I spoke the truth, I’d feel a physical fear sensation that was contrary to what I was speaking. It was extremely frustrating. I was trying to force myself to “know” what I already “believed” but I could not do this. The Spirit revealed I had believed lies, and I could not unbelieve them without His help. I don’t know why speaking the truth worked for everyone else.

        Reply
  45. Teresa Lenz

    Rebecca, I know how you feel. I also feel like I understand the word more now than I ever did. It’s pretty black and white. Following means just that. My circumstances were not about hanging on to my riches or looking back, it was due to compressed, hard times and the love of a man that comforted me. Never the less, I heard from God like never before. I was ill prepared. I made a choice in full light. I lived uncomfortably after that and also in false hope. Then I experienced what I felt like God showed up 2 years ago in the most fierce way. I also live in a state of panic, shock and hopelessness. I would never make the same choice against His will now. But I feel it’s too late.

    Reply
  46. Suzanne Hite

    I’ve been round and round this merry go round
    I developed severe Scrupulosity/ OCD because of it
    Nick response have greatly encouraged me
    I desire Jesus so bad it hurts
    God is love above all else and scriptures say mercy triumphs over judgement
    If I’m not mistaken it is Holy Spirit who draws us
    We can’t desire Him if He isn’t placing this in our hearts
    Those who’ve fully rejected Christ have no desire at all and therefore won’t want to return to Him
    As Tim had written about the Prodigal son, it’s my hope He truly desires us and will not cast away anyone who comes to Him
    WhenHr said I will never leave you nor forsake you
    In Greek the word never in that is a triple negative… He can’t lie
    Tho we may grieve Him this…

    Reply
  47. Dylan

    I am in the same situation. I am terrified. I have OCD so I really had a hard time NOT doing what the word says, but I sinned willfully, and everything has spiraled out of control. There’s so many warnings, but I’m so confused about everything. I’m 20. My whole life has no point at the moment.

    Reply
      1. Dylan

        Yes, I think so! I have OCD so I have spent hours confessing things. Your situation sounds a lot like mine. I would love to email you to help each other figure this out. I suffer from other things like constant deja vu’s. Please respond so I can give you my email. My heart feels drawn to you and your situation. It seems exactly like mine, ( without the physical hard heart, that might be from all the stress of this.)

        Reply
        1. HJ

          Dylan, I can share what He showed me which is this: trust in him, not yourself or your performance. I went through the obsession of confessing everything but He was telling me to let Him be the one to convict you….we can’t convict ourselves. We committed sins all day long because of the law, but He will show you want He wants you to confess. This, I believe is part of resting that I was not understanding. I kept focusing on MY performance and what I needed to do to get right with Him. If you are struggling with forgiveness, I suggest to pray and ask for help in receiving His forgiveness.

          Reply
        2. rodney

          I have a very similar situation. Been backslid twice each was a ten year backslide I tried everything possible to come back but failed then after ten more years of backsliding the Lord miraculously called me back again but I am in so much torment right now it just seems so impossible to find Him

          Reply
  48. HJ

    Dear Truthsaves,
    I have a genuine question. I believe God lead me to Hebrews last fall when I was struggling with serious doubts about my salvation. The fear passages in Hebrews terrified me even more, which made me doubt and fear even more. Many things have happened since last year, but I have hardened heart that I can feel physically in my chest. I fear this state is permanent. Why would God punish me by allowing me to fall into unbelief when apostasy and a hard heart were the things I feared the most? How does one have faith if there is a constant fear of apostasy? I never wanted to disobey God, but I fear I did. I know the truth, but every day I am aware of the hardness in my heart. Do you have any advice?

    Reply
  49. Brad

    Hi HJ,

    No I don’t have a physical pain in my chest but I get bad neck pain and pain in my head sometimes so bad I can hardly think. It’s made going to work and social situations that much harder. I’ve found motivation to exercise and to take care of my health better to counter the pain. I know it is spiritually related because the pain shifts around when I pray, but I have never been able to break free of it. Allow yourself to take it easy and rest. I went through a time where I fasted and prayed and cried everyday for God to take me back and I became so exhausted I was even more vulnerable to the devil. God did not restore His fellowship despite my desperation, but He saved me from ending my life, so I just carry on even in darkness.

    Reply
    1. HJ

      I, too, am desperate. I pray and cry each day for help. My walk was so short I barely got to know God. I didn’t understand justification by faith or living under grace. I was terrified of sinning, or mocking God in any way. I keep praying you said you would never leave nor forsake me, that’s one of the few promises I was able to stand on. I feel rejected and cast off, which was my root fear. I’ve battled rejection all my life and I don’t understand why God would allow a baby Christian to get so attacked. My life fell apart.

      Reply
      1. truthsaves Post author

        HJ, our battle is not in the flesh. Our battle is spiritual. Take your thoughts captive. It can be done.

        For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.
        2 Cor. 10:3-5 (ESV)

        Gird up your mind.

        Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance.
        Ephesians 6:10-18 (ESV)

        Arm yourself with the armor of God. As verse 17 says, the armor of God is His word. Are you in His word every day? Do you commit it to memory? His word is our armor. If you’re not in the Word, you don’t have the armor. And as verse 18 says, pray. His word and prayer fill out your suit of armor. You can’t win the battle without the armor. God provides it for you; put it on.

        If we confess our sins to Him, he will cleanse us. He will make us righteous.

        If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
        1 John 1:9 (ESV)

        And we can know that we are His. We don’t have to doubt.

        I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life.
        1 John 5:13 (ESV)

        Know that you’re not the only one who fights anxiety. You’re not the only one who doubts. I struggle with anxiety and doubt myself — on a daily basis. Sometimes I am afraid — of death — my own or my family’s. But by God’s infinite grace I am slowly becoming molded into His image. Day by day I find that my fears lessen. He is patient. He waits for you. He loves you.

        God is not the author of fear.

        Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
        John 14:27 (ESV)

        Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
        Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

        Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
        Matthew 6:34 (ESV)

        Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
        Psalm 23:4 (ESV)

        For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
        Romans 8:38, 39 (ESV)

        For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
        2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)

        For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
        Isaiah 41:13 (ESV)

        Stop doubting. Pray. Read His Word. Take every thought captivity. Fight the good fight. I will be praying for you.

        Eric

        Reply
        1. HJ

          Thank you, Eric. I was in the word constantly all year, it was the only book I read. I did put on the armor, but I did not use it properly. I didn’t know how. I have tried standing on the promises but I think I blasphemed the Holy spirit.

          Reply
          1. truthsaves Post author

            I will pray for you HJ. I pray that you will have faith and not doubt God’s promises. You are His child and you are forgiven. Your battle is real. This I know. But remember that God’s power is stronger than that of the enemy. He will never leave you or forsake you. You are His. He loves you. I believe 2017 will be a victorious year for you.

        2. HJ

          Last year, I tried taking thoughts captive as best as I could. I didn’t understand then that we are to fight from our position in Christ. I fought with scripture but the thoughts returned one on top of the other, I was bombarded and got frustrated. I began to fear my own thoughts, which just increased my panic. I prayed constantly for more faith, peace, love, joy. After 6 months God began to show I believed lies. I didn’t understand that He was preparing me for a huge deliverance by blessing me with the spiritual gift of faith. He wanted me to build up the faith by speaking in Christ promises and I failed to do this. He tested me and I think I fell away. That was 4 months ago. I fear I am in a place of no repentance.

          Reply
  50. M.A

    Do not focus on your hard heart, I have been there too and I fell into a great darkness, I believe it is psykological or something, when we focus on our hard heart we loose focus on God and relity. My advice is, do not care about your hard heart, but do what you have to do in your life, dont let yourself fall into the same darkness as I did. Dont think too much in this situation, God loves you and will lead you through this too! Hope it helps a bit…

    Reply
  51. Emanuel

    Ask Jesus to Forgive you. Accept Jesus’ offer of Forgiveness and never stop Thanking Him. If you are having trouble with this Ask Jesus to Forgive your sin of unbelief. Ask Jesus to help you with this son of unbelief. Thank Jesus for what He Has Done for you. Go to Jesus In Prayer. Concentrate on Jesus, not yourself or your sins. Confess your sins to Jesus. When satan torments you Ask Jesus to help you. Thank Jesus For Loving sinners like you (me, us). Jesus Is Everything Good. Go to Jesus to Thank Him. Tell Jesus How Much You Love Him. Find Scriptures that support this and write them down. Jesus Loves us, Jesus Forgives us, Jesus Saves us. Thank Jesus and Tell Jesus How Much you Love Him. Jesus Deserves this. Jesus Restores us.

    Reply
  52. Emanuel

    I lost my Salvation and The Holy Spirit many years ago due to sin, pride, and horrible sexual thoughts. The Holy Spirit Came Back because I Begged Jesus To Forgive me. I daily read The Bible especially about God’s Mercy. I go to a Church where people Love and Praise Jesus and Love Jesus. I Pray and talk to Jesus and when I get depressed I go to Jesus. I Can Feel Jesus’ Love, Forgiveness, and Peace. I concentrate on Jesus and not myself or others. Please friends, go to Jesus. Please.

    Reply
    1. Logan

      Emanuel, please give more on this wonderful story of Gods grace to you. I have felt rejected by God but I know I can’t turn away from him now or I will be in an even more serious place. I would love to hear your story of Grace. I know the Bible is true when it says believe in Jesus, I am just trying to.

      Reply
  53. Candace

    Repro,
    Can I ask what sin were you involved in when you were “lost”… I think it will make a difference, because for me, it’s not that I’m sinning outwardly but it’s all inward… ANGER against GOD, bitterness, sadness (yes, I think the sadness is sin too). It’s hard to describe. It doesn’t look to anyone else that I’m sinning, but I’m sinning ALL the time now, & I know my life is not pleasing to GOD…

    Reply
  54. C.

    How come if I fight long enough & hard enough with my parents, they give in… I can always come back. But if I fight long enough & hard enough with GOD, HE doesn’t take me back?

    Reply
    1. HJ

      Hi C,
      I’m in the same boat. The more I tried to understand God’s will to do it, the more I was attacked by the enemy and it resulted in further fear, doubt, and confusion.

      Reply
  55. Emanuel

    Candace, Just ask Jesus to Forgive you. King Manessiahs was the most evil of Kings of Israel but he Repented and God Forgave Him. Tell Jesus you are Sorry for your sins and Ask Jesus to Forgive you.

    Reply
  56. C.

    Here’s an answer from Tim from an earlier question, that I found comforting:-)

    As we wrote earlier, a focus on whether you committed the unpardonable sin is simply unhelpful. You never find any of the Scriptural writers telling people in their churches that because they had committed the unpardonable sin, there was no hope for them. Such is simply never the thought process of Scripture. Rather, everyone, everywhere, can hope in the God who is mercy. In fact, God delights in those who hope in His mercy (Psalm 147:11). Re-read Luke 15 in case you have any question of Jesus’ view towards sinners who return to Him.
    I encourage you to trust Christ, and Him alone, for your salvation. It is not our works of righteousness or unrighteousness…

    Reply
  57. Dylan

    There is a lot of things I could post, but something that I personally experienced was at work. I was upset and I thought to myself, my whole life will be hard and confusing, I don’t know where my life is heading. What’s the point of this? I had a very intense feeling of comfort, and something that told me “You may not make sense of your life, but it doesn’t matter. All of this is temporary. No matter what happens, you need to have faith in Jesus as the son of God and this place of confusion and pain will fade, and no matter what happens, you will be come back to the right place. When all is said and done, Jesus died for your sins so that you can stand spotless before God. Life your life with that faith no matter what.”

    Reply
  58. Dylan

    God provided that for you. That’s how much he loves you. It’s amazing. Anyway, that all happened within a few seconds, but the most comforting part for me was, when this is all over, we can be in a place of eternal rest. Forever! No more pain. I think back to how scripture says that Jesus suffered, and how we are to share in his suffering. Guys just keep the faith. Hopefully more to come. Keep going.

    Reply
  59. Dylan

    I also do not want to be a false prophet. I don’t know if this is scripturally sound, beyond the importance of faith and striving for rest. I would like to reiterate the fact that there ARE many warnings about not abiding in Jesus. I ask that you guys pray for me as I pray for you. Hopefully one day we can all laugh together and give glory to God! Now is when I put my hopes on the beatitudes…

    Reply
    1. Suzanne Hite

      @Candace
      Yes..I was also on multiple medications when I had drug induced psychosis
      Said and thought terrible things to Him about Him my self and others
      But despite it all He’s been restoring me to my utter amazement
      I thought He’d left me because for sometime felt dead inside
      But its not about how we feel
      Its about what He says and what He’s done
      The inky way to never find forgiveness is to outright forever reject Him
      To imply otherwise calls Him a liar
      He cannot lie
      The demonic will attack us irregardless how or what we go through
      They harassed even Jesus Himself and He was the Son if God but He took authority over them and gave us the same authority
      God is perfect love
      In fact if you desire Him, its because He is drawing…

      Reply
  60. Reli

    Candace
    I have never heard of Sadness being a sin.
    Sorrow in and of itself is not a sin, it is a gift from God.
    How blessed are you who are crying now, because you will laugh!
    God bless

    Reply
  61. Emanuel

    HJ, I am Praying for you. Do you go to Church? I go to a Pentacostal Church where I can Praise and Tell Jesus how much I Love Him. Others Proclaim their Love and Gratitude to Jesus also. This is a Wonderful Blessing. Scripture Says that to do The Work Of God, one should Believe on Whom He Sent. John 6:29. HJ, Jesus Loves you so Much.

    Reply
  62. Suzanne Hite

    Well I’m finding an increase in my faith and the demonic seems to be lessening for the most part
    I continue to teach out to Him and just keep staying focused on Him
    I still battle with “feeling” Holy Spirit tho but it helps to be reminded that faith is not based on feelings but rather on all He days and what He has done
    I wish this place I’ve been in on no one and continue to try and encourage others in their faith asking the Lord to use all of this for a greater good
    That its not in vain
    Our feelings do lie as does the enemy but God cannot lie
    Jesus specializes in restoration as He came to seek and save the lost and sinners
    The only condemnation comes from completely rejecting Him but He does not condemn anyone per John 3:16

    Reply
  63. John Beeman

    There are not enough stories of hope on here, and very few positive voices qualified it seems. Wow, many of us are so vexed by demonic torment that are inner spirit feels, and maybe is, cursed. I’ve tried a thousand times to fight and at the end the enemy comes and torments me even more. When my mind has a glimpe of the starkest and truest reality that the greatness in store for those who are being saved is unfathomable as is the despair of us who are lost, my soul grows faint and I feel I may collapse. Oh to be saved. Tell me, as it has been too long ; is joy real? Can joy be eternally lost on this side of the impenetrable chasim which divides the lake of fire and all meaning and hope. Men were not meant to be merely practical creatures.

    Reply
  64. Eve

    David prayed, restore unto me the joy of thy salvation. He had lost his joy because of his sin. My pastor once said, you can pour a coke down a dead man’s throat and he won’t enjoy it. We as Christians are dead to sin. We cannot be happy or be effective as Christians if we regard sin in our lives and God will not hear us if we regard sin in our hearts. When we are saved we agree with God about sin. He said that our righteousness in His sight is as filthy rags. So, the very best we can do is as filthy rags. When we begin to trust in our own ability to keep us saved then we become very depressed as we see sin as it is seen by God. We then become filthy in our own sight. Yes, we should try not to sin but as long as we are in the flesh we…

    Reply
  65. Suzanne Hite

    Be encouraged:
    John 6: 37All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.

    John 6: 44No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

    You cannot of your own want or desire Him UNLESS God Himself is drawing you to Jesus
    And if you seek Him and go to Him He will NEVER cast you away
    Its possible to grieve Holy Spirit but He cannot lie nor break His promises

    Hebrews 13: 5b for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

    The word ” never” here in the original Greek is a triple negative: never,never,never will He leave or forsake us
    He is faithful even if we are not because He cannot deny Himself
    He is…

    Reply
  66. Emanuel

    Dear H.J., Go to Lord Jesus and confess all your known sins to Him. Then Accept His Wonderful Gift of Forgiveness. Never Stop Thanking Lord Jesus For Forgiving And Saving you. If you start to not Believe that Lord Jesus can Save you immediately Confess this sin of unbelief to Lord Jesus. Ask Him to Forgive you. Find verses in Bible such as John 3:16 and John 6:29 which clearly state that Belief In Lord Jesus is what is required for Salvation. Please Find a Church where people Praise and Thank Jesus. You can Find The Holy Spirit there and then you can shout your Praise and Thanks to Lord Jesus. Read The Bible daily, starting with the Book of John. Pray that you find a friend to go to Church with. Pour your heart out to Lord Jesus. HE LOVES U

    Reply
  67. Teresa Lenz

    I read a post tonight that said “Stop playing victim to circumstances that you created”. It hit home to me. I can relate to you all and as I was talking to a dear friend of mine today, she said that the guilt never ends. It is guilt or knowledge of condemnation? For me it’s the latter. I am in the process of doing whatever I can do to get right with the Lord and fighting spiritual fatigue and hopelessness. It brings the entirety of scripture alive. It’s very scary.

    Reply
  68. Nick Phelps

    My ah ha moment was when I finally came to God empty handed, realizing I have nothing to offer him that was impressive enough to earn his love and acceptance. I finally came to the end of my self and accepted his free gift of eternal life, no strings attached.

    Reply
  69. Nick Phelps

    I finally came to the end of my self, no amount of church attendance, prayer, fasting, giving, would ever be enough to undue the things I have done or will do; it will never be enough to stand in his presence boasting over my great accomplishments. My only hope was on the basis of his love and mercy

    Reply
    1. Jacob

      NOTHING we can do will undue anything we’ve done, but EVERYTHING that Christ did makes us white as snow. His mercy, grace and love are what save us and we can have faith in that! The most solid promise in all of eternity – the gospel.

      Reply
    2. Josh

      Everybody LOOK TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST not yourselves. He’s GOOD we ARE NOT. He saves to the uttermost. You bring nothing! I dealt with Hebrews and had much knowledge in the bible which condemned me nearly to suicide. Stop looking in yourselves and seek Him and He’s got you. Confess Jesus…

      Reply
  70. Micah

    For everybody who is going through these condemning thoughts, keep on reading, praying, and seeking the Lord. I willfully sinned against him a while ago (fornication) and I went through condemning thoughts every day. I was terrified of the Hebrews 10:26 and Hebrews 6:4 verses and would be…

    Reply
    1. HJ

      It’s been almost a year. My heart still hurts. I cling to “I will never leave you, I will never forsake you,” but I don’t have the Spirit guiding me anymore. I struggle with anger against God. Why did he have to write the bible in such a way knowing that so many will be confused by it?

      Reply
    2. Ross

      So did I, keep asking for forgiveness jesus blood will cover you just don’t give up a broken spirit he will not despise – confess and forsake those sins and receive mercy.

      Reply
  71. rodney

    I am in terrible torment everyday. I was a true christian even called to the mission field but backslid very bad for many many years He recently gave me the grace to repent but the moment I did it’s like He through me in a den of demons and said have at him all I want to do is die but I’m still…

    Reply
  72. Logan Ward

    I fear I am incapable of repenting out of a heart thirsting for the Lord but only want to escape hell. Please encourage me. I’m losing hope. I’d even consider suicide if I wasn’t convinced that I’d awake in hell

    Reply
    1. truthsaves Post author

      Logan,

      Thanks for your comment. Wanting to escape hell isn’t a bad thing. It is a terrible place where God’s grace and goodness are replaced by his judgment and wrath. I understand that you feel badly for not thirsting for the Lord. I too have felt this way before. Ask God for help. Ask Him to help you desire what He says is good. Even when you don’t feel a desire for what is good, think about it and live like it is true. Take some time to read through Colossians chapter 3, where Paul unpacks what this looks like. And trust God with your weakness. He knows you better than you know yourself, and He sent Jesus to die for you. You can trust Him. I’m praying for you today. -Nathan

      Reply

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