Remarriage After Divorce — Is it Adultery?

Question from a Site Viewer
There is one topic that Jesus talks about that I doubt I will ever hear in my church and that is the subject of divorce. Divorce is a big problem in this country and “Christian” couples seem to be just as likely to get divorced as non-Christian couples even though it should not be this way. What I read and understand from Jesus is that God wants married couples to remain married (Matthew 19:6, Malachi 2:16). Paul also says not to get divorced (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). I also read that if a couple does get divorced for anything other than unfaithfulness and then either the husband or wife remarries, they are committing adultery in the new marriage (Matthew 19:9, Matthew 5:32, Mark 10:11-12). My question to Tim is this: if a Christian couple gets divorced for any reason other than unfaithfulness, and then either or both remarry, are they committing adultery? If they are committing adultery, are they forgiven by God even though they are continually sinning in this new relationship? Since repentance is the turning away from sin and not wanting to do it (a change of heart and mind), I do not understand how a divorced couple that has been remarried is not sinning. In my mind, when Jesus said it’s adultery, I believe it to be adultery. This concerns me for several of my Christian friends because I do not see how their second marriage is a sanctified marriage. I have friends who try to justify their actions but for me sin cannot be justified but can and will be forgiven by God with repentance. I appreciate and thank you for your time in reading this note and hope you have the time to respond with your thoughts on this subject.

Tim’s Answer
I appreciate the question you raise concerning second marriages following divorces. If, as Jesus states in Matthew 5:31; 19:9; Mark 10:11-12; and Luke 16:18, a person who remarries following a divorce is committing adultery, should not the person who seeks to follow Jesus stop committing adultery by breaking off the second marriage?

I believe that the answer from the Scripture is that the adulterous nature of the second marriage never justifies a second divorce. I am led to this answer by the words of Jesus and Paul. But I acknowledge that this is a difficult question theologically. Let me explain my understanding of the relevant texts.

Jesus in Matthew 5:32 states that the person who divorces his wife “causes” her to commit adultery. Now, she does not commit adultery unless she remarries or otherwise has sexual relationships with another man. Jesus, however, seems to presume that this will happen, as He states that the divorcing husband causes the divorced wife to commit adultery. I think this is very consistent with Jesus’ statements in Matthew 19:11-12 that not everyone has the ability to live alone. Paul states the same thing in 1 Corinthians 7:2-9. God created humans for relationship, so much so that He said that it was not good for man to be alone. Those who have been married and then divorced do not suddenly obtain a power of singleness that the rest of humanity does not have. It is because there seems in Jesus’ mind to be a presumption that the divorced one will remarry that Jesus places the responsibility back on the divorcing husband.

But what is this second relationship? We know from Jesus’ words that it is adultery. But Jesus sees it as being more than adultery. Jesus uses the word “marries” when he talks about the divorced person entering into another covenant relationship. The second relationship is more than adultery, it is a marriage as well. In Jesus’ view, there is a difference between this covenant relationship and simply shacking up. Jesus addresses the woman at the well and tells her that she has had five husbands and the person with whom she was with at that time was not her husband (John 4:18). Jesus seems to be calling out her moral situation, as well as the hurt in her life. (Given the context, I do not think it is a reasonable answer to presume that the first four husbands all had died.) Each of the first five were marriages. The last one was not. Marriages are sacred before God, whether they are conceived in sin or not. The God who hates divorce does not have an exception for subsequent marriages. It seems to me, if a person were to divorce their second spouse, they would be doing the very thing Jesus is saying not to do in the various passages. They would be divorcing and by this act causing their spouse to commit adultery with someone else. I see the thrust of what Jesus is saying in each of the relevant passages is “do not divorce.” Divorce is not loving to one’s spouse and not loving to the God of the covenant relationship.

What Jesus seems to imply, Paul makes more explicit. He writes to the Corinthian church, a church birthed in a city given to sexual immorality; to a people, some of who were fornicators, adulterers, and homosexuals (1 Corinthians 6:9). He tells them that in order to avoid sexual immorality, let each of them have their own wife and husband (1 Corinthians 7:2). He does not except those who have been divorced. He says that it is good if they remain unmarried, but if they cannot exercise self-control they may marry (1 Corinthians 7:9). He also tells them that if they are bound to a wife, they should not seek to be loosed from their wives (1 Corinthians 7:27). If divorce was the answer to adultery, then Paul had a great opportunity to command this action in this sexually active community. He does not. To the contrary, he is with Christ in stating that divorce should not be sought. And in making this statement, Paul like Jesus does not limit what he is saying to those who are on their first marriages. I presume that there were second and subsequent marriages among the Corinthians as divorce and remarriage was a problem throughout the Roman world. Paul simply commands the believers to stay with the spouses that they had. This, I believe is the Biblical command for any marriage, whether it is the first or the thirty-first. One does not rectify the adulterous relationship of a subsequent marriage by divorcing one’s spouse which will then cause that spouse, in the words of Jesus, to enter into another adulterous relationship. The best way to honor God is for a godly spouse to love and serve his/her present spouse.

I further note that in the Deuteronomy 24:1-4 passage, the second and subsequent marriages by the person in whom is found some uncleanness (which I see as sexual uncleanness in light with what Jesus says in Matthew 5:31 and 19:9), are treated as valid marriages. I find it most instructional that the second marriage breaks the first marriage in ways that are irreparable. God says that once the second marriage has been consummated, the first marriage may never be reconstituted. Such would be an abomination before God. Thus, the second marriage even in the Old Testament was more than adultery; it was a covenant that broke the first marriage.

I realize that this creates the theological problem of whether God is condoning sin. My answer to this is that Jesus is not condoning sin. But Jesus is dealing with the human condition. There is a parallel situation in the very passages we are discussing. God’s answer to hard hearts (a sin) in the marriage relationship was to grant divorce (an action God hates) (Matthew 19:8). God allowed divorce even though such fell short of God’s glory and was accordingly sin (Romans 3:23). It is better to divorce than live in bitterness towards your spouse.

If God permits divorce, something that is contrary to God’s expressed will; then it is no surprise to me that God permits marriage, which is something that God created and intended for people to live within. God’s answer to the human condition of humanity’s desire for sexual relationship is marriage. One’s desire to be married and have a family is no different for the 19 year-old divorced person than it is for 19 year-old virgin. As Paul states, young women will desire to be married (1 Timothy 5:11-14). The same is true of young men. Though the remarriage is adultery, Jesus presumes it will happen. Living in an unmarried state is not presumed in Scripture, except for certain people. Paul states that marriage is a better situation than uncontrolled passions. And, though the marriage may be founded in adultery, it can be lived out in a life pleasing to God; just as David’s marriage to Bathsheba, though founded in adultery and murder, was lived out before God honorably.

For these reasons, I say with Paul, if a person is presently married, do not seek to be loosed from the bonds of marriage. If a person is unmarried and does not have the ability to live alone, then let them marry. But if they can live alone, then the better course for those who are divorced is to live for the will of God in their singleness.

I realize many hold different positions on this subject. I provide you my understanding, not as the final solution to the many passages, but because I find it to be the most persuasive solution in my mind to the textual language. I find that other solutions create tensions in the texts that do not exist with the above solution.

I hope this helps.

a fellow sojourner,

tim

Related Articles:
Divorce & Remarriage in Scripture

245 thoughts on “Remarriage After Divorce — Is it Adultery?

  1. jean

    But the 2nd marriage would not be sanctified by God, so not recognized as a true Christian marriage. Therefore, adultery is the sin if they remain together. No adulterers will be in heaven 1Cor 5, etc. We should be careful about subjects pertaining to Salvation…satan loves turning His Truth 180. Remember, His ways are not ours and ours not His, His ways are much higher. We struggle trying to think like Him…we should just follow His word. The 2nd marriage is not a marriage to God, just a piece of man made paper pretending to be a Christian marriage…this is dangerous territory to teach anything otherwise. They are committing sex outside of marriage in God’s eyes….because of the original marriage, it is called adultery. We justify many things because we don’t like the Truth if it affects our lives contrary to our comfort, especially if we have to teach it to others that may not want to hear it…conflict can be ugly. Just teach His Truth and let others decide. Don’t spend any time on emotions other than sharing how much God wants to bless those that follow His commandments and love them regardless…but eternity is a long time to live regretting a bad choice, or a faulty belief. ‘My people perish for lack of knowledge.’ Hosea 4:6 God forgives us our ignorance on such subjects and turn us toward You, change our wicked sinful hearts to serve You alone, no matter the cost. You are worthy….Your grace is so sufficient. God bless us all as we see Your face.

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    1. tim

      You talk as if you have never looked lustfully at the opposite sex in your mind. Remember Jesus said that if we even think about having sex with the opposite sex or for that matter, the same sex we are guilty as if we actually physically did it. So, I say onto you, simply because you have never divorced, are you innocent of adultry??

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      1. Sweetz

        Adultery can be committed in the heart too. IT however, does not sever the marriage covenant UNLESS the innocent spouse wants it to…they can forgive. God is setting the higher standards…we break those standards, and then hope He will forgive as we confess and do what we can to repent. A remarriage is breaking a serious covenant, but God can forgive that…each person finding themselves in this needs to go to God and see what He wants us to do.

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        1. Robert

          I married very young (19) and thought I was sexually incompatible with my wife as a result of my immaturity and seeming inability to control my urges. I was the one that cheated because I was selfish. I wanted sex all the time and when she didn’t (which seemed to me at the time, not that often), I took an attitude of selfishness, believing, because I was married, I was “entitled” to it – I even used passages from the bible to justify my entitlement-minded mentality. I was at fault, and my wife chose to divorce me. We both remarried and I have prayed for forgiveness. My 2nd marriage is a real, solid one, due mostly to my change in attitute, repentance and perspective. I truly believe my mistake and others’ like it will be forgiven.

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      2. tifany

        One thing is clear. The word of God is true.we cannot change it.tThe Bible says what God has put together let no man put asunder: this refers to the first marriage. No matter how many times one gets remarried. Only the first marriage is acceptable before God. The only ground for divorce in the bible is if there is adultery in a marriage. But divorce itself is sin before God.

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        1. lil sheep

          this is a logical fallacy not to mention poorly constructed theology. God would not bother to command against something that was impossible to do. It is made clear in Deuteronomy that returning to a second spouse after a remarriage is foridden and considered an abomination to God. God doesn’t change His mind in the abomination department; if He thought it was an abomintion then He would still think so now, I would think.

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          1. Rhonda

            Does Jeremiah 3:1 refute that? It’s clearly God saying, “it has been said if a man puts away his wife and she go from him and become another man’s, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? But thou has played the harlot with many lovers yet return unto me.

          2. Peter

            however, Jesus made a comment on this passage (Dt 24.1-5), saying that “from the beginning it was not so”, and “it was for the hardness of your hearts”. Seemingly, recognizing the second marriage was an exception, a dispensation on account of our hard hearts, that lasted only for the time of the law covenant. I can recall no other command in the law, that Jesus thus belittled?

        2. Kelly Childress

          Tiffany the problem with that is that’s not actually true for all.with my first marriage ,it was his second,so God in that case wouldn’t have considered it a covenant then. I believe that God says He forgives everything !!! He never said in the scriptures if your remarried ,divorce! Neither did Paul! He said if your bound don’t seek to be loosed.he didn’t say only seek to be loosed if this is your second or third marriage ! This is such a touchy subject for people ! I actually couldn’t remarry my first husband cause I’m not his first wife.

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          1. Liz

            “I actually couldn’t remary my first husband cause I’m not his first wife.” Very good point – which I hadn’t considered. So many of the points of view on this matter seem so out of touch with the character of God and His heart of love and compassion towards people. Reminds me a bit of: “the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth live.” I just see the scriptures so often used as a weapon to put people into bondage, and that surely doesn’t give God any glory. Jesus said the purpose of the scriptures are to point to Him.

        1. Douglas e Mayo

          In JESUS name open the door that HE’S knocking on/your heart.b baptized in JESUS name,be filled with the HOLY GHOST and speak in tongues

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        2. kelly

          God bless you and keep you…God make his face to shine upon you…seek his face perhaps he will visit you and alleviate your fears.

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        3. Precious dixon

          Me too and all I want to do is go to heaven… Just keep seeking the Kingdom and serving God… That’s all we can do

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        4. Gail

          I truly pray that your life has been changed for the better according to God’s love for you.
          I too am struggling, but My Lord Jesus holds on to me.
          Just talk to Jesus more every day. He will make his answers known to you.
          Be Blessed.

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      3. Leon

        Looking lustfully at, is a result of our fallen condition, which can be forgiven: as Paul says, that which I want to do, I don’t; and that which I don’t want to do, I do. Wretched sinner that I am.
        There is a difference between this, above, and consciously and willingly, and knowingly, following a course of action contrary to Jesus’ commandment to “remain unmarried”.

        Do not be deceived. Do we WANT to obey God, or do we WANT what we want, regardless of God’s commandments.
        If we willfully condone remarriage ( in rebellion against Jesus’ commandment ), then we may as well fornicate.
        Then we may as well endorse homosexual activity.
        Adulterers top the list when Paul speaks of formerly, unregenerate patterns of behaviour.

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      4. Catherine

        Hi Tim
        I have been married to a divorced man for the last 10 year. We have 4 children 2 from his previous marriage and 1 I got before we met. We have a new born now. Am I committing adultery and should I walk out of this marriage. He claims his first marriage the lady committed adultery. I have also committed adultery but he forgave me
        What should I do as a Christian?

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      5. Philip Buckley

        lusting is a sin….that people confess….living in adultery is treating sin….as not being sin…ergo living in sin….one cant repent, and continue in
        the same action…as John the Baptist said…to Herod….it is not lawful for you to have your brothers wife…

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    2. Sweetz

      God can “release” us from the original covenant (the divorce actually did that) and He CAN even sanctify the subsequent one…but WILL HE? That is why we need to get with the Holy Spirit about what to do once we realize our sin of remarriage (adultery). He can give each individual the remedy. He can tell us to remain as we now are, or divorce and remain alone. He has the authority to forgive our sins…best to find out from HIM if He did or not and follow what He says. SEX is not what defines marriage…it is the COVENANT that defines it. Some couples never had sex when they married, or cannot later on. But they still took VOWS before God. So a divorce “because of” the lack of sex is still being unfaithful and breaking the covenant.

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    3. Shelia

      I am in this very situation. My husband and I have been married 26 yrs and have A 21 year old daughter. My husband married his first wife twice! This past year I started going back to church and praying my husband would join me. The Lord answered this prayer! Not the way I expected. He took those passages in Matt. Luke John and said that our marriage was a sin. We have been to 2 different pastors and he will not change his view. Our home is now up for sale and my life is turned up-side-down. He has moved into his parents basement until we can sell. I’m sorry but people that believe this is sin,don’t know the meaning of forgiveness!

      Heartbroken!

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      1. Ana

        Jesus did not come for these “righteous” people who knows better what God wants to do… It is for us sinners, so that we may come to true repentance of our sins! That is the meaning of the Cross… Jesus is all about Redemption and Restoration!

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      2. courageous

        Please help me find forgiveness within myself. This 3nd marriage s not of God i feel it so deep in my spirit. I only want Gods will for my life not to be an adulterous all my life.

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        1. ve

          Matthew 12 read it God states all sin can be forgiven accept blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. So you are not damned to hell because you remarried. If you asked forgiveness and you haven’t blasphemy the Holy Spirit and you live to thrive to follow all Gods word after that you will not be held accountable.

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    4. Destiny Estrada

      My exact thoughts! It is not recognized in the eyes of God as a covenant! God doesn’t break His end of covenants, as recognized by His covenant with His chosen people. He made a new covenant with them, because they broke it – but He did not break His covenant nor make a new covenant with another people! I don’t see anything confusing about how the Bible explains it. What I see is the twisting of words due to the hardness of our hearts.

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      1. ve

        And his New Covenant is our sins are all washed away by his blood! ALL including divorce remarriage adultery. The only sin can’t be forgiven as stated in Matthew chapter 12 is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.

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    5. denise

      I don’t understand it at all. God still blesses second marriages. He sure has blessed my ec husband, who was abusive and cheated on me with another woman and divorced me instead of agreeing to marital counceling, he has since remarried to another woman who makes very good money, lives in big house and had a baby together! I still struggle evryday as a low income single mom and feel left out or wonder why my life hurts so much! Does God favor him more or what?😭

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      1. Marisol j

        Your attitude shows that you are still holding on to bitterness and resentment. The bible says that we should be thankful to the lord in all circumstances, and it seems that you are equating material possessions with blessings from God which is not biblical at all. You might begin to understand God if you ask Him to forgive you of your sins and to give you the gift of the Holy Spirit to understand God’s ways by reading the bible. God seeks a humble and contrite spirit. God help you.

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        1. patricia

          Marisol, while I agree that she is no doubt struggling with bitterness (who wouldn`t in a situation like that, esp. when the church would often side with a sinning husband and quickly offer him grace without requiring any restitution on his part), I think that you also need to be willing to be a good Samaritan and recognize she`s in the position of the man beaten and robbed and left bleeding on the side of the road. You haven`t really acknowledged the raw wounds that are infected and bleeding nor offered to load her onto your donkey and take her to an inn in order for her to have some time to have her wounds tended and to heal. Law without grace destroys and crushes. Grace without law sends us merrily to our destruction.

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    6. Dan

      You are correct and far to many have took the liberty to twist and sometime just outright lie to avoid this truth. Jesus said it was sin, I believe I will just take his word

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    7. Jasmine

      Hmm, it seems no one remembers the story of David and Bathsheba. King David committed adultery with Bathsheba, then had her husband Uriah killed in battle, and then he married Bathsheba. David and Bathsheba suffered greatly for their sins even losing children, but David finally repented whole heartedly to God, and God forgave him…. even continuing to bless their family. David stayed married to Bathsheba for the rest of his life. 2 Samuel 11 God’s mercy is much more amazing than many realize, praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!

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      1. Andrew

        But Uriah was dead. The covenant between him and Bathsheba was finished. Murderer yes. But at this point Bathsheba was a widow and under the law could remarry.

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    8. Marisol j

      You have a hardened heart and you are manipulating God’s word to serve your religious spirit. The Pharisees took God’s word and made it rigid to fit their condemnation of anyone who did not fit their description of Holy, and Jesus rebuked them by telling them In Matt.23:4 They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden. God’s word is merciful, and when adulterers like me who got divorced before knowing the Lord, receive God’s forgiveness they become a new creation in Christ. Who are you to judge the servant of another master ? (Rom. 14) In Matt. 5:30 Jesus said if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off…if your eye does the same pluck it out. Why don’t you take that…

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    9. Marisol j

      You quote Hosea?! Hosea is the story of a prophet commanded by God to marry a temple prostitute. It is symbolic of God’s love for his people Israel and how, regardless of their continuous pursuit of other lovers, God chased after them with his unfailing love. Just as He does to those He chooses for as His children. We are handpicked and predestined Eph. 2:10, and if God forgives us then who are you to condemn? There is no sin that God did not pay for on the cross. He redeems and he restores that which was once lost, and it is all-inclusive. The heart is wicked but the spirit of God gives us the strength to endure hardships. Do you think murder is worse than adultery? Is a person supposed to resurrect his victim to receive forgiveness?

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  2. jean

    1cor 7:11’but if the wife departs from the husband let her remain unmarried…
    God does not recognize unholy marriages as holy, that’s doubled minded. Matt 10 is for holy marriages.
    So divorce of an unholy marriage is ending a previous commitment of two to commit adultery (unholy marriage).
    Now repentance can take place as they are no longer in sin.
    James 5:19-20 we need to help those that are in sin to get right with God…on His terms, not ours.
    It is clear 1cor5 and elsewhere that adulterers will not inherit eternal life.
    I prayed to God to take away my desire for men to walk more closely with HIm, and He was faithful.
    I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.
    With men it is impossible, but with God, all things are possible.
    Lead people to Him, not away my friend. I don’tthink you did so intentionally…but even Paul thought he was doing God justice to persecute Christians.
    Be careful and God bless you as you seek Him with your heart, and soul and energy…daily
    <3

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    1. Lanae

      What is considered a Holy marriage? The reason I ask is because I was married at 18 with no knowledge of Bible requirements and divorced at 20 I had never really read through Bible. I only started a month ago, but I haven’t found anything stating he only recognize Holy marriages. The Bible is very confusing to me and I don’t know how to interpret a lot of the passages.

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    2. Marisol j

      Prov 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” – Your self-righteousness has given you a haughty spirit and you are standing right before a fall. It has been two years since this post, and I pray that the lord has led you to a place of brokenness by now. Your ability to remain unmarried and abstain from sexual desire does not qualify you as Holy. Matt 9:13 ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Titus 3:5 He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit. Prov 16:2 All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD.-

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  3. jean

    Matthew 19:10
    Jesus responded to their statement ‘it is not good to marry then’ saying celibacy is not good for all but for those with the gift like eunuchs. So you better marry and work it out or you will find yourself in adultery or burning with lust, none of those options are edifying. Committing adultery is never good…neither is divorce outside of death, nonbeliever leaving, or adultery…but again neither is a adulterous marriage–a divorce in this situation is good as it would allow restoration back with God for repentance. John 15 is all about abiding in Him and the Father pruning us to be more fruitful. If we as Christians begin creating our own terms, we are lost. Jesus said that the Holy Spirit will strengthen us to do His will. We have not because we ask not, or we ask amiss…it has to be according to His will. Certainly if one asks for help to be celibate He will be faithful to such an honorable request. But naturally speaking, one would have difficulty living alone. Living in the Spirit helps avoid walking in the flesh. He doesn’t want us to suffer…He’s so loving <3 Matt 7:21 should bring us great warning.

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  4. jean

    Mark 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
    Do you truly believe our Holy God Himself would join two people together to commit adultery in the case of an unbiblical remarriage…a marriage that is outlined as a sin? Of course not, read John 15 again and again, it will be stunningly clear. He would be double minded otherwise and He is not the author of confusion. Confusion is caused when we try to put a square peg in a round hole and try desperately to make sense of what is non-sense. When a piece of paper binds two committed sinners to commit adultery together and ‘we’ call it marriage you can be sure God is not a part of it. In order for their lives to be united back to Him they must break that unholy union and repent and follow after His commandments. Divorce for an unholy union is good when it separates the sinners from their unholy, ungodly union. Marriage is sanctified when it is made under His will, His ways, not mans. Marriage or anything else can only be Holy because of His approval, in that we are following His will. He makes a thing holy. An adultress marriage could never be Holy because God wold never ordain it Himself. You said such words, but it is not biblical. It creates confusion uniting a Holy God with sin. His Word ‘never’ changes. It is meant as a compass for us, not as a chameleon. Look for your error in who you think God is and His attributes of perfection. Yes, we are messed up and He loves us in spite of us, but that’s His mercy and grace. Unrepentant sin is always taught as wrong, 180 from His will, He knows we will perish otherwise…so does satan. We must stop taking God’s Holy Word in parts and look at the whole, every bit, and digest it with His character in mind and not our low and shifting bar, otherwise what’s the point in following His will? Why stress it so much? He is creating a new creature in us, that can’t be done with a fleshly heart, only a spiritual one that seeks after God with all of his heart mind soul and energy daily. Never, ever, should we be concerned about society’s way, only God and His immutable Word. Otherwise it will be to our detriment and to those we mislead. If there’s a hint that we could be wrong, and it risks our eternal salvation, why on earth are we teaching it?? Satan knows well. Don’t be misled because you will be held responsible for misleading others, and that is very serious. God we ask for your mercy and grace as we seek You with all of our being, reveal Your Truth to our hearts so that we may know You and serve You alone now and eternally with love, compassion and joy!<3

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    1. Tony

      Are you insane? It’s amazing how the carnal mind can twist scripture…remember this therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..you clearly do not know the mind of Christ

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      1. Connor Pierce

        I am so scared! I loves Jesus. I can’t wait to be in the presence of God. But now I think I’m going to he’ll because I made a mistake and remarried because I wasn’t living in the word at the time I did this. I believed Jesus forgave me of my sins but now I’m continuing to be married so I should get divorced?

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        1. Patricia

          I am in the same situation. Married too young. Remarried now for 20 years. Born again just three years ago. I do not know how to repent from improper divorce from first husband. I did not know the bible says not to remarry after divorce.

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    2. Karla Richardson

      Dear Jean, I agree with you about remarriage. I am married for the 2nd and last time. My first marriage ended with infidelity and abuse. I have always been a child of God. I’ve been married to my 2nd husband for 22 years. I am also his 2nd wife. He and I both struggled with guilt for a few years but through repentance and constant prayer and by God’s forgiveness and our steadfast desire to follow Him has made this a union much stronger and loving one. I believe through Him we can be forgiven of anything only because He knows our hearts desires. Man cannot see into our souls or understand what God does for each of us. It is a personal relationship. I believe in forgiveness and that love is all powerful. Can’t we agree on that?

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  5. jean

    Lastly, is a homosexual marriage holy to God, Mark 10:9? Would ‘HE’ join them together, or did they twist His Truth to make it so? If a homosexual ‘marriage’ is man made and against God’s true meaning for marriage, how is two adulterers unbiblical marriage any different? It is also man made. So a divorce from a man made marriage is no sin in God’s eyes, the original step to marry was the sin, it is what caused the separation between Him and them so a divorce in these cases is necessary in order to have right standing with God. His will for us is so that we could be living fruitful lives in the vine of Jesus. He will take the unfruitful dead wood and have them cast away and burned up. Is this what you want to risk as you teach this unholy marriage as being marriage and that divorce from it is wrong? Divorce from such unholy marriages is an act of repentance giving opportunity to realign our will with His in renewed union. He will never change His Truth, it is immutable. He is gracious and merciful but sin is sin and must be dealt with by confession, repentance and following His commandments or we are simply not His. God bless you as you seek Him faithfully on His terms and no one elses.

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    1. fun team Post author

      I understand your logic. My problem is trying to reconcile what you say with Scripture. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4, God clearly recognizes the second marriage as a valid marriage, going so far as stating that it would be an abomination for the spouse to return to her first husband after a second marriage. So, a second marriage while the first spouse is still alive is viewed by God as a valid marriage. Jesus references this very passage in Matthew 19:8-9. In John 4:18, Jesus noted that the woman at the well had 5 husbands and was living with a person who was not her husband. Jesus uses the word “marries” in talking about a second marriage in Mark 10:11-12, showing that He viewed the second marriage as a marriage. And we know from Scripture that those who are married are not to seek a divorce (1 Corinthians 7:10-13). Accordingly, I cannot agree with you that God would desire those in a second marriage to divorce. I understand your argument that since those who enter into such a marriage commit adultery, that adultery is a sin, and therefore the Christian should stop adultery as adulterers will not enter into heaven. However, the Scriptures drive e to a different conclusion. Jesus understood that most people are not able to live alone. This is what He says when He notes that those who divorce their spouses causes them to commit adultery. The only way this is true is the divorced spouses remarry. Jesus knew that they would and He places the cause of such adultery, not on the person who remarries, but on the person who caused the divorce in the first place (Matthew 5:32). These are Jesus’ words, not mine. The God who allowed divorce because of the hardness of hearts I believe also allows remarriage because of the weakness of the flesh, even though both hard hearts and adultery are sins before Him. He calls the remarriage a marriage. I think this is the way He views it. And if it is a marriage, then a subsequent divorce violates His direct command. Thus, I do not think your logic accords best with the Biblical instruction. In fact, by encouraging the second divorce, you would be causing the divorced spouse again to commit adultery, if I understand what Jesus is saying Matthew 5 rightly.

      Reply
      1. Maria

        God allows a lot of things, but just because he allows them it does not mean they’re right in his sight or that he is pleased with them. Divorce is sin period second marriage is adultery also a sin God’s own words not mine. God’s standards are very high and we christians try to justify our sins yes God is a forgiving God but he also is a righteous God who will not change what he has said just so we can feel happy about the wrong choices we make.
        Death is the only thing that ends a marriage if a second marriage occurs while the first spouse still lives that it’s not a marriage it’s adultery. You say God approves of this marriage because he says if a person marries-this does not mean he considers this a marriage in His eyes. Yes he knows we are sinful and will satisfy our fleshly desires, so he knows second marriages will occur but he still calls this adultery no matter how we want to see it.

        Reply
        1. truthsaves Post author

          We do not disagree that a second marriage is adultery if the divorced spouse is alive on this earth. We also agree that adultery is sin and is not God’s intent. Yet, as noted, Jesus seems to assume that remarriage will happen, as He notes that the one who divorces a spouse “causes” the spouse to commit adultery. Paul says that those who are unable to exercise self-control should marry, and this is in the passage before he addresses virgins. It seems to us that just as divorce was granted because of the hardness of hearts, so a second marriage is granted because of the lack of self-control. Both are sin, but neither prevents one from continuing life in a way that pleases God. Divorce and remarriage, like a lack of love and empathy, are failings that show we are not yet made fully in God’s own image. The history of a God is that He uses imperfect people. Look at David and His many wives, including one he murdered to get.

          Do you not think that the Samaritan woman was married 5 times in the sight of God? Jesus called them all husbands, except for the sixth one with whom she was living.

          Reply
          1. ben

            It seems peculiar that David is used as an example for remarriage who was in the old test.when the no remarriage principle came after Christ spoke it in the new testament. Are there any examples of New Testament persons remarrying? What if Christ said do not remarry is because in the case of two Christians who divorced the body is the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. When Christ ascended into Heaven we came into a new era, the days of the Holy Spirit.If someone who knows truth divorces and remarries perhaps they are now defiling their body and the temple of the Holy Spirit which may actually be the unforgivable sin. I tend to think that rules for those who did not know truth are under a lesser degree of scrutiny.

      2. Sweetz

        You are correct fun team. Second marriages are still “unauthorized” covenants (sin)…as well as being “one flesh unions”, but breaking YET ANOTHER ( for the purpose of “repenting”)should not be taken any more lightly than breaking the first original one. This is why we must seek God regarding our personal situations. A covenant is more than a sexual act or a bunch of them. A covenant is a VOW before God.

        Reply
      3. Dave

        Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is not God’s approval of divorce, it is Moses’. Which is refuted by Jesus in Mark 10:1-12 in which he tell the Pharisees that it was Moses who permitted the law of divorce because of the hardness of hearts and that God’s intent is that what God has joined let no one separate. Going on further to say a man who divorces and remarries commits adultery. That is the reconciliation for Deut 24:1-4 that should hopefully shine light on this matter. The second marriage being an adulterous one is only repented when the sinning has ended and God still considers the first marriage to be that of “one flesh” not the second, thus an unholy marriage in which divorce is not a sin but a sign of repentance.

        Reply
        1. Nikkia Torian

          I have a question. If then the divorce of the second marriage is a sign of repentance and this is only the first marriage of one partner. Is that person free to marry since the marrige was not considered a valid Godly marriage?

          Reply
    2. Marisol j

      If there are unforgivable sins, then why do we need to repent or receive’s God’s forgiveness? Why did Jesus die on the Cross? There is forgiveness in Jesus Christ! The apostle Paul killed Christians. Is this not worse than divorce. The reason you are so caught up in this text is because you are blind in your self-righteousness Matt 23:26-28 26Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, so that the outside may become clean as well. 27Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and every impurity. 28 In the same way, you appear to be righteous on the outside, but on the inside you are full of…

      Reply
  6. abby

    God’s principles can’t be altered. Remarriage is adultery as long as the former spouse is alive. You can’t continue in sin and keep asking for Grace, the only way to stop a sin of adultery as it regards to remarriage is to forsake it.
    This is an issue that seems confusing and controversial in churches, but personally I believe it shouldn’t, it is a topic that is well treated in the new testament. Everyone just tries to make the scripture suit their reasoning but we are the ones that change, God and His word never change.
    I was once remarried too after divorce but the Holy spirit met with me and I’ve made my ways right with God by quitting the second marriage.
    It will be too late on the judgement day to make corrections. We need divine encounter with God to fully understand His word. Sin is sin, if God says remarriage while former spouse is still alive is adultery, then who are we to contest or justify it? If God can give up His son Jesus for us, what can’t we give up for Him? Shalom

    Reply
    1. Jay

      The scripture itself is being overlooked. People keep adding the phrase perpetual sin. Really? Where does it state that. The scripture clearly says that a man who marries a divorce woman COMMITS ADULTRY. The other scriptures all talk about commiting ADULTRY. It doesn’t say lives in ADULTRY. It’s a singular act of sin. As if you commited a sin. Committing a sin and LIVING IN SIN ARE TWO DIFFERNT THINGS. Why was king david NOT LIVING IN ADULTRY AFTER HE MARRIED BATHSHEBA???? He “COMITTED ADULTRY”” with Her by sleeping with her. BUT HE Married her after. GOD DIDNT SAY DAVID WAS LIVING PERPETUALLY IN SIN WITH HER!!! he commited ADULTRY and asked for forgiveness He repented and was forgiven

      Reply
      1. patricia

        This is a difficult subject for sure. However, David was not in ongoing adultery because Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband, was dead by David’s hand. David committed adultery with Bathsheba while her husband was away fighting . When Bathsheba sent word secretly that she was pregnant, David panicked and tried to get Uriah drunk so he’d go home and sleep with his wife and think the child his, but that failed. Then he set Uriah up on the battlefield so he’d be killed, and after Uriah was dead, David took Bathsheba as a wife. Bathsheba was a widow when David took her to wife. That is why the marriage wasn’t ongoing adultery, though God was not fooled by Davids attempt to use the outward appearance of lawfulness to conceal what he’d actually done.

        Reply
        1. Steve

          That is a good point about Bathsheba not being married, but David’s intentions were clear from the start. He wanted Bathsheba. I think to extrapolate that it was better for David to commit adultery, a one time sin, scheme to cover his adultery up, a one time sin, and then basically have the man murdered, a one time sin, than to live in perpetual sin of adultery is misguided. That would be like saying I should murder my wife’s ex, repent, and accept the punishment so I am not in perpetual sin of adultery.

          Reply
      2. Karla

        Amen to that! People we are all sinners! If we were perfect we’d be like God and isn’t that the first temptation that Adam was told to avoid by not eating from the tree of knowledge to become “God-like” as Satan tempted Eve? To believe there is no forgiveness for remarriage ever is like giving free reign to sin. If a second marriage is born of repentance and fervent prayer and a will to follow God’s laws together how can that be unforgiven? Doesn’t God want us to turn from sin? Otherwise, what’s the point of forgiveness?

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      3. Andrew

        The marriage with Uriah and Bathsheba ended with his death. This made her a widow. Widows are able to remarry.

        Reply
    2. Ukaegbu victor

      When u quit ur second husband Abby, what do you think is his fate. He should celibate or he should marry again as u are not his lawful wife? Was he married previously before you people married. Ur reply will help in reaching an analysis here.

      Reply
    3. Thomas

      That has to be the best comment I’ve read today
      Yes of course people justified because they want with their flesh wants you want to stay in their second marriage

      Reply
    4. Marisol j

      ” The self-righteous person picks parts of the Bible that he likes and prides himself on keeping those parts. A self-righteous hypocrite is more concerned about external conformity than with true, inner godliness. ” Please read Luke 18:11-12 and find out who you are in this case, the self-righteous Pharisee or the repentant sinner? No matter what part of the law you manage to uphold, you still fall short of the glory of God. None are righteous, not one Rom 3:10. And if you put yourself under the law, then make sure to fulfill it. Jesus is the only who can do that, but maybe you’d like to take a shot at it. Making yourself equal to God is blasphemy, and according to Jesus the only sin that will surely land you in hell. Read Romans 14 .

      Reply
  7. Maria

    I agree. I was making plans to move on with my life, because according to many I had the right to do so. But I’m thankful that God stepped in and spoke to me and showed me that if I remarry while my husband is alive I will be living in adultery.
    Did I accepted this truth right away, no I dud not I have to admitt that I tried to ignore it, but God le or speaking to me and telling me to search the scriptures, once I did like you said his truth can not be altered, He is very clear remarriage while your spouse is living is adultery! Even though it’s considered a lawful marriage by men’s law, in God’s law it’s unlawful.
    And in order to stop sinning that relationship needs to end, one can not repent and continue to live in the sin you’re repenting from.

    Reply
    1. Denise

      I divorced my husband because church leaders said that I could because of his adultery, but I heard the Holy Spirit clearly say to me after I had divorced my husband that I was not to remarry until my first husband dies. I did not understand this, but when I heard a sermon on Romans 7:2-3 and the Holy Spirit had me to study all of the scriptures on divorce and remarriage, Malachi 2, Matthew 19:9 (except it be fornication (porneia), Mark 10:1-10, Luke 16:18 and 1st Corinthians 7:1-11, it is very clear that when people divorce and remarry that it is an adulterous marriage. Jesus says “commits” adultery and the word commits means present and ongoing. So it is not a one-time incident, but ongoing adultery.

      Reply
  8. abby

    Thanks my sister. Heaven is our goal as children of God. We must always keep eternity in view when addressing all issues of life.
    Marriage itself is an earthly affair and in all our decisions as regards it, we must remember that all ends here on earth and that is why, God said the bond of marriage is dissolved when either of the party dies. The Bible is clear about all marital issues, we just need to be diligent in the study of God’s word and ask for grace to understand well. No matter how long we live on earth, it’s just a preparation for eternity.
    What shall separate us from the love of God? Certainly not our marital status. Shalom

    Reply
  9. Patti

    Jesus died for all sins, he didn’t say all sins are forgiven but re marriage , if we confess our sin of divorce , God will forgive us and asking God to bless your second marriage I don’t think you will burn in hell, we are all sinners until we come to God for forgiveness, we all make mistakes,

    Reply
    1. Marisol j

      God bless you Patty. I am in your shoes, and Jesus is with us, because John 8 when the pharisees brought the adulterous woman to be stoned, Jesus said “He who is guilty of sin, cast the first stone.” and when no one did, Jesus said, Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more”. The argument that remarriage is an unforgivable sin is presumptuous at minimum and the twisting of God’s word at it’s worst. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus!

      Reply
  10. Ellie

    Patti…God does not allow remarriage.

    When my spouse left me 10 years ago, I studied the subject of divorce and remarriage in depth.

    If you remarry you will live in adultery.

    The way is narrow and hard and we must pick up our cross and carry it. I cannot remarry as long as my spouse lives.

    “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” –Jesus Christ

    “The Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth.” Malachi 2:14

    “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.” 1 Corinthians 7:39

    The bond of marriage ends with death. Romans 7:2-3

    Jesus calls remarriage after a divorce ADULTERY because…

    “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 7:39

    “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4

    “For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.” Romans 14:1

    “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery…those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21

    Reply
      1. Sweetz

        Well, it is questioned whether EACH act of sex alone is a renewed act of adultery because the remarriage continues to be perpetually “unlawful”. John the Baptist lost his head over this one remember? YET, Herod’s remarriage caused his new “wife” to NOT be able to go back to her original husband. Because of this remarriage, their original covenant was now forever BROKEN…and they were now “supposed to” repent…but how since she could not return to her original husband, and they were now officially branded as being adulterers? Divorcing and then each of them remaining alone? I am not sure this was Johns point. I think John may have been pointing out their situation to them to try and convict them to turn to Jesus for forgiveness.

        Reply
      2. Vik

        There is no difference between “commits adultery” and “lives in adultery”. You are simply trying to create an artificial difference between the two. This will only confuse people and it’s not helpful at all. The Bible does not make that distinction. Adultery is adultery. If someone commits adultery, he should repent of his/her sin. To repent means to turn away from the adultery and stop committing it. You cannot say you have repented of your sin when you’re still committing it. The proof of repentance is to STOP committing that sin. Repentance means to stop committing the sin and to turn to God. So, it really does not matter whether one “commits adultery” or “lives in adultery”. What is important is repentance and a cessation of the sin.

        Reply
        1. Daniel

          This is not true, you speak a a selection righteous religious person, if you were in Jesus ‘s day you would be one of the religious people holding a stone at the adulterous woman, you use the word to hold man in bondage of sin, but Christ came that we may be made free, he who is free in Christ is free indeed, no sin us unforgiven by God, except one, and I’m sure that a bible scholar as yourself knows which one it is, your forgiveness is not the same as God’s. If one comes with a repentance heart God will forgive him, then that person shall not repeat that sin again, how crazy does it sound that God forgives one and every time they lye with their wife they sin again, once forgiven, God still remember but that person is free

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    1. Sweetz

      I wish I had known before I remarried what you learned before you made the same mistake. But I did not know then. Even though I do know now, this is the issue being raised here is it not? What to do AFTER the fact. Remain in the “unlawful remarriage”…or seek God’s forgiveness and ask HIM what He wants us to do? The idea of another divorce does not take away the remarriage sin…Jesus’s blood does if we confess and determine never to repeat it. Adultery is MANY thing…it means “unfaithfulness” whether in the heart or by many other actions. You can be adulterous to God even if you are sexually pure by KNOWINGLY practicing OTHER sins too. A divorce is a broken Vow made to God and a spouse…and a remarriage seal that forever.

      Reply
    2. Brandon

      I think you really need to read the king James verses when Jesus says to put away. Read the text in context people the Jews were putting away their wife’s and marrying another without legally divorcing them put away does not mean divorce we as humans messed up translations and got it wrong.

      Reply
      1. Ms. Nae

        What if both people committed adultery, got divorced, one remarried, but the other didn’t but wants to remarry.

        Reply
    3. Kelly

      In the Old Testament Law, the punishment for adultery was death (Leviticus 20:10). At the same time, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 mentions remarriage after a divorce, does not call it adultery, and does not demand the death penalty for the remarried spouse. The Bible explicitly says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but nowhere explicitly states that God hates remarriage. The Bible nowhere commands a remarried couple to divorce. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 does not describe the remarriage as invalid. Ending a remarriage through divorce would be just as sinful as ending a first marriage through divorce. Both would include the breaking of vows before God, between the couple, and in front of witnesses.

      No matter the circumstances, once a couple is…

      Reply
      1. Brooke

        Please just read the ENTIRE bible. God will have mercy on whom he has mercy. He weighs the motives of the heart. He speaks against those who are quick to point out the law but will not lift a finger. Mercy outweighs the law. Some of you say he doesn’t hate remarriage, some of you say he does. Some of you add words, saying that remarriage is perpetual adultery. That’s an assumption…never explicitly stated. Perhaps, if Paul can extend the exception clause there can be more. A Christian has the power of discernment. Understand God’s FULL character and stop throwing around single verses and inputting your own words. Every situation is unique and quite frankly we each have a personal relationship with God. Exercise that opportunity and…

        Reply
    4. Marisol j

      Good for you that you have decided to stay unmarried, but this is your choice not the law of God. Pluck out your eye and cut off your hand, because Jesus said that it is better for a man to enter into God’s kingdom lame and blind than to burn in hell, and please if you consider yourself to be without sin, then you make God to be a liar according to 1 John 8-10 ” If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”

      Reply
  11. Ellie

    “A husband must not divorce his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:11

    “The Lord was witness to the covenant made at your marriage.” Malachi 2:14

    “The Lord God All-Powerful of Israel hates anyone who is cruel enough to divorce his wife.” Malachi 2:16

    “Thou shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14

    “The man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul.” Proverbs 6:32

    “Adulterers…will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9

    “For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.” Romans 7:2-3

    http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html

    Reply
    1. Sweetz

      Ellie,
      Knowing all of this BEFORE remarrying is best. But after the remarriage has already taken place…well, this is the remedy we are now searching for. And we are not searching for it as a replacement for the Grace and Forgiveness that Jesus offers, we are looking for it in order to please Him though obviously, after the fact. It may very well please Him if we REMAIN in our present circumstances rather than CAUSE yet another divorce and adultery situation…which is breaking yet another foolish Vow to God. ASK HIM to show you. But if someone is already remarried to a mate that continues to be sexually immoral on any level, then God MIGHT lead the innocent mate into divorce…because of the unrepentant heart of the offending mate.

      Reply
      1. Autumn dior

        upon the cross, Jesus said during his crucifixion, “father, forgive them 4 they know not what they do .” If Jesus asked 4 forgiveness on the behalf of those who murdered Him, due to His belief -they did not know what they were doing (guessing from their lack of belief & knowledge of the Word), in my opinion, he would ask 4 the same forgiveness from those who remarry, not knowing how serious the 1st covenant was. My opinion, those who perish for lack of knowledge are those who have never came into Christ or study the Word. But i don’t see a God that would condemn a people that are constantly being perfected into His image, 2 the day Jesus comes back. Though some study the Word & believe; yet come up short(as the Word says we all will)

        Reply
        1. Autumn dior

          I don’t see any1 being labeled as adulterers or etc….for life. Everyday we have to pick up a cross and seek wisdom & discernment for our choices (that are not always black & white). And even if we get it wrong, I believe God will still bless us for trying to do what is right (even if it’s wrong ). Hence, Father forgive them for they know not……..” Jesus is always making intercession on our behalf. The Word says God judges a man by the motives of His heart. I must have faith that when I do mess up, & if I don’t get it right; that my heart was in the right place (still w/ God) & that is where I will be judged.
          A lot of you forget, that the Lord we worship is of Hebrew. And as an American, we were not all brought up in church or

          Reply
          1. Autumn dior

            Culture, foundations, marriage principles, morals as the Hebrew nation. Living in a country that is consistent w/ tearing down godly foundations adds to this struggle of constantly being made new. So there is alot we are all still trying to understand. And knowing the Word is only half the battle (the other is understanding) in all your getting, get understanding. so for those who keep just quoting scriptures, its way more deeper Foundation than that. that is why we must meditate in the word day and night to get that richer understanding and revelation it’s not just black and white.
            for example, a married couple not Christians, divorces. one gets saved and remarries, is that person an adulterer? Or 2 newly Christian people marries

          2. Autumn dior

            as I was saying…..2 newly Christians marry 2 soon (no foundations) they know the word but no understanding (still drinking milk), they divorce both realized they rush marriage immaturely. should this young couple be alone 4ever 4 irresponsibly making a vow? or should they follow the word (black & white) & stay 2gether unhappy &unfulfilled, would that be pleasing 2 God? again father 4give them 4 they know not what they do. As Americans we are reborn into this covenant, 4 me it’s more than a new creation, it’s a new thinking, New understanding built soley on the basis of falling down, being torn apart 2 be recreated. If breaking vows (remarry) will 4ever brand & won’t inherited kingdom, despite my heart towards God, where is my hope?

      2. Joe

        its simple God does not recognise the second marriage, because it does not have his blessings, he only recognizes the first marriage, to the wife of his or her youth… (Return to me, my bride Israel ,saith the Lord)

        Reply
        1. Shawn

          But what if the first marriage was not a biblical marriage or both spouses were no fully in Christ and were not aware of Malachi 2:16?

          Reply
          1. Sweetz

            Shawn,
            Then stay married and honor God. Do not divorce to repent. Live a godly life and marriage to show the seriousness of your repentance and He will bless you both. You did not know your right hand from your left…now you do. So live to honor God going forward and ask for His Peace in this. He knows the heart and the intentions of the heart. Luckily for us!! You meant no malice or disrespect when you married…He knows this. Accept His forgiveness and purpose to keep your Vows to Him.

  12. Paul

    Deuteronomy 24

    “The deliberate contrast in Jeremiah 3:1 between the law that Moses laid down for the Israelites in Deuteronomy 24 and God’s own behavior towards His wife points out that the New Testament Church must not determine her marriage doctrine and practice from Deuteronomy 24.” –Professor David J. Engelsma

    The Bond Yet Unbroken:

    The first verse of Jeremiah 3 proves, in a striking, indeed, startling way, that God was still MARRIED to DIVORCED Israel. To Israel who had “played the harlot with many lovers” and whom God had already divorced, according to verse eight, God called, “Yet return again to me.” This was a call to His wife, as verse one makes plain: “They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man’s, shall he return unto her again? Shall not that land be greatly polluted? But thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.”

    Whereas it was not permitted in Israel for a wife divorced from her husband and remarried to another man to return to her first husband, God called His wife back to Himself, even though she had committed adultery with many companions and even though God had divorced her.

    Divorced Israel remained the wife of the LORD.

    Reply
  13. Paul

    What is striking, even startling, about this insistence on the maintenance of the marriage and on Israel’s return to her rightful husband is the contrast between God’s marriage to Israel and a law governing the earthly marriages of the Israelites.

    Verse one refers to the law concerning divorce and remarriage in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 forbade a husband who had divorced his wife, on some other ground than her adultery, to take her back, if a second husband divorced her, or died.

    God, however, will take His wife back, even though she gave herself to many lovers and despite the fact that He had given her a bill of divorce.

    The law of Deuteronomy 24:1-4 was merely Moses’ tolerance of deviation from God’s original ordinance of marriage on the part of hard-hearted Israelite men. It was a stop-gap measure, somewhat to protect vulnerable women, who otherwise would have been passed around like property.

    Reply
    1. Sweetz

      Well Paul…there is a startling difference between what God can do (being perfect) and what He allows us to do (having sinful hearts and natures). He is Holy. He can even take Gentiles as “wife” although He is ALREADY and forever “married” to Israel. Huh? Yep…but He wants us to remain faithful to our original marriage vows. When we do not, He wants us to confess that as sin and determine not to keep repeating it. If we KNOW something is a sin BEFORE we do it, then we will hopefully be corrected. He calls the “shots” on what and how that will look like. He is the One who sanctifies a covenant made before Him…and He is the One who can put it asunder…we should only divorce/remarry at His direction.

      Reply
  14. Paul

    This was Christ’s analysis of Deuteronomy 24:1-4, and indictment of the kind of people for whom the law was necessary, in Matthew 19:8: “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives.”

    Deuteronomy 24 does not reveal the truth about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. It reveals the wickedness in marriage of hard-hearted, that is, unbelieving, men. The truth about marriage, already in the Old Testament, is revealed in Jeremiah 3:1: Even though He must divorce an unfaithful wife, God maintained the marriage and called His wife back to Himself.

    Verse fourteen of Jeremiah 3 is decisive, and explicit, regarding the question, whether God divorced an original wife so as to annul the marriage and open the way for Himself to marry another. Addressing faithless, divorced Israel, Jehovah exclaimed, “Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion.”

    Reply
    1. Sweetz

      Paul, God did indeed marry another. GENTILES have now entered into the same marriage union with Him…AND He did not divorce Israel to do this. This is a spiritual union. A covenant is a spiritual union that may involve the flesh too. Worshiping Idols makes us “adulterers” against God. Worship is in the heart, and not so much about the flesh. Our covenant with God may be broken if we do not turn back to Him before He has “had enough” of us or die…because He is still available. He is the One who decides if He wants to take us back. Same goes for earthly marriages. People divorce and remarry…THAT alone breaks the original marriage covenant BUT once remarriage happens, it also means that we CANNOT go back to the original spouse.

      Reply
  15. Paul

    Although His wife was unfaithful, although she committed adultery with numerous lovers, although she was as yet impenitent, and although God had divorced her, God was STILL her husband, and she was STILL His wife. The bill of divorce did not touch, much less dissolve, the marriage bond:

    “I am married unto you.”

    Indeed, the fact of the marriage is the reason why God called Israel back, as it is the reason why she ought to come back, to live with Him: “for I am married unto you.”

    Professor David J. Engelsma

    Reply
    1. Sweetz

      God is Faithful and Perfect. He would not sin as Israel did/does…He CANNOT sin! But we do and He knows we will…thus the blood of Jesus was provided for us in those events (not to be taken lightly). It is NEVER God that acts unfaithfully…but WE do in many ways. God Himself will NEVER be the One who breaks His covenant with us… those He calls His own, because He is not like a man. We do break our covenants though. Adultery=Unfaithfulness…whether sexual, spiritual or by divorce and remarriage to another. It actually breaks the marriage covenant especially when a spouse gives their spouse a “certificate” of divorce and if one of them then enters into another marriage. They can never reconcile with a former spouse after that.

      Reply
      1. Lanae

        This has been my confusion because we got married young from pressure of his mom. Didn’t know anything about the Bible and marriage. I divorced him, there was adultery and he started to get a little violent , we tried to make it work but the adultery continued. Again young dumb kids with no knowledge of God’s laws on marriage. He has since been remarried and divorced. I just started to read the Bible and it looks like I’m screwed for life.

        Reply
  16. Sweetz

    So then, am I REQUIRED to divorce my present husband? We have BOTH committed adultery according to Scripture…and our previous spouses have remarried also. We are considered “married” because of the new flesh union (assumming that the flesh union is what constitutes the meaning of a marriage)…yet we are living in a state of adultery. Could God forgive this and going forward, allow this adulterous union to remain nevertheless? Should we forego sex but leave the Civil Union intact? Very confusing as to what to do…not because I dont “see” that we sinned, but because I am also aware that yet another sin of divorce does not seem to erase the original sin of adultery at this point. Either way, we would still need forgiveness.

    God does not recognize the marriage of homosexuals regardless of them staying “faithful” to each other. So I can see the need to put that abomination away because it does not qualify on ANY level as a “one flesh union” the way He intended between a man and woman. But if I am living in a perpetual “state” of adultery, rather than it being a one time “event”, then is divorce now the remedy that God is looking for?

    Why did God allow Moses to permit/undermine His original intentions of the permanent nature of a marriage if there were NO GRACE available in the event that these things happened? Why did Moses NOT tell the people that after remarried that they would then eventually HAVE to get a divorce later to satisfy God?

    Reply
    1. nichole Williams

      You must seek the Lord for yourself and accept what he tells you. I did and my ex and I see where God said in Ezra 9-10 how the men had to divorce their foreign wives to be back in fellowship with Him. Did it hurt them? I’m sure it did but they obeyed(except for 2 I believe) and in turn were blessed

      Reply
  17. Sweetz

    Seems to me that if I now divorce my husband then he (because of his “needs”) would eventually get remarried yet again. I would then be responsible for compounding his sin, by “causing him” to enter into yet another…and he would drag yet ANOTHER person into his future sin. The remedy for “burning with passion” is marriage…so he would eventually seek that out, and it would be my fault too.

    Wouldnt it be better if an “unauthorized” remarried couple remain married and then let their earthly death naturally take care of this sin?
    Why did Got allow David to marry Bathsheba? He committed adultery and murder…why should David be rewarded by his marriage to her AFTER that fact? If I were her, I would not want a man who murdered my husband to cover his sin. Yet God forgave such grave sins (with penalties) when remorse is expressed. Seems to me that David could have just paid Support for her upkeep instead of marrying her. But the adultery was already done and continued into the new marriage. Oops.

    Further, if Moses could get into so much trouble for “hitting” a rock rather than “speaking” to it, then why did God NOT correct him for permitting divorce for nearly any reason other than sexual immorality? Seems to be that Moses’s one time sin having such a hard penalty would PALE in comparison to the ongoing “putting away” of marriages for the trivial reasons that he permitted.
    Seems like things are not quite chiseled into stone…there is some amount of Grace given.

    Reply
    1. Leon

      Moses and Aaron were severely castigated for not obeying God. They claimed that THEY had to perform an action, giving no Glory to God, and disobeying Him directly by word and deed.
      We can rationalise all we want, but the plain truth is stated on its own, and unambiguously enough to convey the teaching.
      Jesus Himself ( God) explains the Law ( God’s Law) , to the Pharisees. Many Laws were Man’s Law ( civil law) and then there are God’s Laws.
      Many of the Israelites in the desert were far from God.
      Civil order had to be maintained, hence civil law ( also Laws of Hygiene).
      Many. Scribes and Pharisees were experts at elevating Man’s Law to the status of God’s Law, since their
      hearts were eviil, and they did not know God.

      Reply
      1. Ryan

        The case of divorce and remarriage when spoken by people who have not been victims of divorce or abusive marriages will never be solved by the human heart. Take heart God forgives all sins, those who think God will forgive a remarried couple are like Pharisees that is why they want to make it worse by trying to compare it with homosexuality. Imagine if you are abandoned say at 19 and the person who abandons you is an unbelieving one, it means he/she has condemned you to a life of adultery for the rest of your life. God is love I don’t think we inteprete his word well.

        Reply
    2. Marisol j

      Sweetz, you are right. God does not keep an account of our sins. Psalms 130:3. The argument of separation after second marriage lands us into a very slippery slope of sin that never ends. Somewhere along the lines of the argument against remarriage, those who argue it, have forgotten God’s mercy, forgiveness and restoration. God cannot undo our sin, but he forgives us of it, and we are made new in Christ. The ten commandments are there in order to remind all of us of our sinful nature and as to why we need a savior, but Rom 4:7-8 “Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord will never count against them.” We are not obligated to go on sinning. God redeems and…

      Reply
  18. abby

    I was like you sometimes ago, trying to get scriptures to soothe my desires and comfort me to remain in my second marriage until the Holy Spirit convicted me of the sin of adultery
    I will advise you to permit the Holy Spirit to do His work in your life. Sensitive issue, no doubt about that and that is why you need a personal conviction about it.
    How can we forsake the sin of adultery if we don’t quit it? The Bible clearly states that we must repent and forsake our sin.
    As for issue of sin when the body require sex again, the bible says we can do ALL THINGS through Christ that strengthens us. All you need is to ask for grace. I’m saying this from experience. It will be too late to make corrections on the judgement day, live for eternity.

    Reply
    1. Sweetz

      Do not assume that I am using/twisting Scripture with the intent of “soothing my desires and comforting me”. No, I am not after doing that. However, I seem to be more aware of the Grace of God in these situations. Not everything is ALWAYS “unpardonable” nor damning for eternity, except blaspheming the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, committing yet another sin that God hates (divorce) does not serve to remedy a prior sin that people did while unaware. We are now personally aware of our sin, but have not received conviction to divorce.

      Reply
      1. abby

        Grace is all we depend on as Christians.
        Even we need His grace to make heaven, no matter what.
        My own submission is that, for this issue, you need a personal conviction of the Holy Spirit.
        If God says a remarriage when a former spouse is still living is adultery, who are we to query or justify it? Matt 19:9, Mark 10:7-12, Rom 7:2-3, 1Corin 7: 10-11 Can we continue in sin and say grace will abound?
        The Lord will help us all in this race to heaven.
        Shalom

        Reply
        1. Sweetz

          No one is trying to JUSTIFY an “unlawful” remarriage. What the issue is is this: Should Christians now start divorcing (yet again) BECAUSE they divorced and the remarried wrongly? Feelings aside, the Bible does not say that a couple HAS to do that to be forgiven. Would it not be better just to not repeat that sin again in the future? So the question REMAINS…does God DEMAND yet another divorce for the remarried couple in order for them to be considered truly repentant? And no, He did not “say” that a “remarriage is LIVING IN or CONTINUING IN a state of adultery”. He said a person “COMMITS adultery”. It is not merely about identifying particular kinds of sexual acts. It is about the BREAKING of an “original” sanctified COVENANT.

          Reply
          1. Linda

            And I’d add to that and ask, if a couple did divorce to put this sin down, the husband having had two marriages and the wife only this adulterous one, are they now divorced and must remain unmarried or is she single and eligible to marry another single or widowed, and he to remain unmarried until his first wife passss?
            The word tells us not to be partakers with adultery, to flee from it, and not to commit. What exacty is she after doing this?

  19. Ukaegbu victor

    Please I want to know, if as a single I marry a woman who has divorced before, knowing am sinning, should I end the marriage by divorcing her and should I marry again since originally she was never my wife because her husband still lives. If I marry another, will I be sinning?

    Reply
  20. Ukaegbu victor

    If a single man who married a divorced woman, divorces her because he feels God did not recognise such marriage as the woman’s lawful husband is alive and marries another woman, is such man sinning(

    Reply
    1. abby

      In response to victor, in the first instance, your marriage to her is not recognised by God because she is still binding to her first marriage because her former spouse is still alive. In my own opinion with the leading of the Holy spirit you can go ahead with a remarriage only in the Lord. Speak with your pastor and let the Holy spirit lead you all the way.
      Shalom

      Reply
    2. Marisol j

      Victor, I don’t think your major concern about marrying should be whether she is divorced, rather is she a God fearing woman who knows the Lord Jesus Christ. We are forgiven and made righteous by the blood of the lamb who died for the sins of men, and therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. If she is a good woman who loves the lord and is willing to live according to His purposes Romans 8:28. then trust in the Lord and He will make all your crooked paths straight. The law kills, but the spirit of the Lord brings freedom. God bless you my brother.

      Reply
  21. Ukaegbu victor

    At Abby, so if I marry my own wife as the divorced woman is not my lawful wide, am not sinning? I really feel sorry for going into such relationship in the first place. I hope God will forgive me and sanctify my new marriage and recognise it. Please tell me more about what to do.

    Reply
  22. abby

    Dear brother, it’s a very tough decision no doubt, but if you search the scriptures well with the leading of the Holy Spirit, you will receive help to make the restitution. Matt 19:9, mark 10:7-12, Rom 7:2-3, 1Corin 7:10-11
    I advice you should go on a personal retreat and ask the Lord to show you how to go about it.
    Also, I assume you are a born again child of God, you can talk to the pastor of a Bible believing church. But sometimes different churches have various views on this subject matter, but you’re safer if you use the Bible as your standard.
    God’s principles can’t be altered and the only blueprint we have as Christians is the Bible.
    Please allow God to lead you, it will be too late to make corrections on the judgement day.

    Reply
  23. Jay

    Jesus said ALL SIN WILL BE FORGIVEN EXCEPT BLASPHEMY AGAINST THE HOLY SPIRIT. IF YOU REMARRY YOU COMMIT ADULTRY. BUT GOD FORGIVES YOU IF YOU TRULY REPENT. HE SAID ALL SIN. ALSO REMEMBER DAVID MARRIED BATHSHEBA. GOD DID NOT CONSIDER DAVID LIVING IN ADULTRY. PEOPLE KEEP SAYING IF YOU REMARRY YOUR LIVING IN ADULTRY. THE SCRIPTURE NEVER SAYS THAT. IT CLEARLY STATES YOU COMMIT ADULTRY. ITS A SINGLE ACT OF SIN. NOT CONTINUAL. YOUR NOT LIVING IN A CONTINUAL SIN. WHERE DOES IT SAY ” LIVES In ADULTRY? It Doesn’t. and why do people on here act like they do NO SIN. there are many sins other than getting remarried. Helloooooo. Bible says if we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves. Many of you on here decieving yourselves. Acting perfect.

    Reply
    1. Sweetz

      Cant help but realize that those who “want to repent” of adultery by getting YET ANOTHER divorce are WOMEN. Women are not as sexually driven as men are, so it is easier to kick a remarriage to the curb. Perhaps many women will use their disdain for their mates and seek this clever “spiritual” way out? This is exactly why each couple should get with God about this. A woman who divorces “to repent of a remarriage” will CAUSE her mate to commit yet another adulterous sin…and drag another third party into that too. So wisdom is needed here. Either they can BOTH bear to remain single or not. I do not particularly LIKE my husband since he LUSTS after other women. Yet, I would not divorce him unless God gave ME the green light to do so.

      Reply
      1. Marisol j

        Give it a rest. Uriah was dead becasue David made sure he was sent to his death. Should people then start to hire hit men to legitimize their second marriages? My goodness.

        Reply
  24. Sweetz

    God has not (yet) given me that green light of His approval to divorce this remarriage regardless of what I suffer… I am not looking for any spiritual “loophole” to use to sneak my way out of this pit. Perhaps someday He will if my husband continues to lust after others…because THAT is indeed being unfaithful as well are the remarriages and physical adultery are. But I do not want to be the one causing him to go into even MORE sin. I will let God call those shots for me. I have my own walk…I would rather see my husband repent than help throw him into a crisis because I wanted to get away from him. So I “put out” and if he is sinning in his heart against God and I, THAT will need to be dealt with by the Holy Spirit…who I am NOT

    Reply
    1. BD

      At everyone on this site I would like to say this: God is a loving God and will forgive those who genuinely repent. Repent means to ask forgiveness and to turn away from that sin and not commit it again…don’t divorce again. Sweetz , you remarried, you are now in a covenant marriage. If you now know it was wrong but repented, God has forgiven you. God hates divorce so divorcing again is doing precisely what God said he hates. Divorcing again is not the answer nor will it make things right with God. It is just sinning against God again. Instead pray for your husband. His lust is a symptom of lacking something in his life and that something is more of God’s presence and peace. Ask him to go to coupling as well.

      Reply
    2. Marisol j

      Sweetz, I can tell you that instead of wondering about the sin of divorce and remarriage, there’s a possibility that God is testing your faithfulness in him to suffer and to love unconditionally. As women, we are so desperately in need to be validated by our spouses that we don’t realize how we destroy them. God can bring glory to this situation if you submit to his discipline in this marriage. Take it from someone who knows. Infidelity of a spouse is very painful, but the enemy knows our weakness. God can restore., but he’s working on you through the temptation of the devil in your spouse. Seek God more diligently and take your focus off of your spouse and put it on your relationship with Jesus. Not easy to do, but God is willing and…

      Reply
      1. Sweetz

        Marisol,
        Thank you. My husband was caught with another woman since I posted here. He left. I have not heard from him in over 10 months now and I do not contact him either. I have no intention of divorcing, but I cannot stop him from doing so. I am at PEACE and my only concern is his salvation and repentance regardless of what happens. My life is full and I am free to pursue my relationship with the Lord without all the visceral suffering interfering with it. I have no idea about what he is doing. He filed a “Legal Separation”…and then up and left. He has been committing adultery his entire adult life…even since the first year we married. I will remain alone, or if he TRULY repents, I will reconcile. Remains to be seen.

        Reply
  25. Ukaegbu victor

    Are u all aware that by virtue of Uriah dying in the war, that bathseba’s legal marriage to Uriah ended which gave David the right to marry her. Moreover those where in the old testament. Christ came and corrected some of these laws that Moses gave. He emphasized on the issue. Have u read the book of first Corinthians to see what Paul said as he was led by the holy spirit. That word commits or commiteth is a continous tense showing that the person continues to live in adultery. Pls don’t turn the bible upside down to suit you.

    Reply
    1. Brandon

      It could mean both explain to me how Jesus recognize the women at the well with five husbands please if he does not called the real marriages

      Reply
      1. Linda

        That happened under Moses’s suffering.Jesus came and said, but I say unto you.., we listen to what Jesus said. He said it in context…stop looking for exceptions…From the beginning…,mystery…Christ and the church…
        Context. Set them straight.

        Reply
        1. Marisol j

          huh? That did not happen under Moses’s suffering. Jesus was on earth , sitting at the well and speaking to the woman. But I say unto you?….context of what? We are not looking for exceptions, we look to God’s grace and his mercy. Jesus Christ died for the forgivness of ALL sins, even your hidden sins. You are not better than those of us who are remarried in the eyes of God. All have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God. Romans

          Reply
    2. Anita

      David had a man killed so he could marry his wife. Is this the answer? Having ones first spouse killed and then one in no longer living in adultery because of a second marriage. Your saying all that was ok with God?

      Reply
  26. Nikki

    Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling with this issue myself. I am on my second marriage and something just feels off. My first husband is also remarried. As weird as this sounds, I still feel bound and married to my first husband. I have dreams about him ALL THE TIME. I think spirit is trying to speak to me and sometimes it does get confusing with all the scriptural interpretations. I think God still being married to Israel even after having divorced her says it all. It’s a bond that can only be broken by death; not a lawyer, courtroom, and much less a worthless piece of paper. For those of you who justify King David’s marriage as remarriage, it was justified because Bathsheba’s husband was no longer alive.

    Reply
      1. Linda

        That brings up the subject of more than one wife. Not condoned in NT. God gave Abigail to David and he already had a wife.

        Reply
  27. Ukaegbu victor

    Let’s be careful on the things we say. Jesus categorically condemned the marriage between one who has legitimately married before and another who has not or has and calls it adultery. Adultery is the voluntary sexual intercourse between one who is married and another who is not their spouse. Bible says he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtaineth favour from the lord. If u should find favour from the lord after finding a wife or marrying a wife, why should the same lord say a marriage of a man to a divorced woman who was legitimately in a marriage an adultery. Is he now an author of confusion, no, He is not. It simply tells you your marriage with this woman is not right. Why? Because this woman is still in a convenant.

    Reply
    1. Marisol j

      so if she repents of committing the sin is there no forgiveness for that particular sin? Is everyone who has ever lied or stolen or coveted under the same condemnation. Is a murderer not able to repent unless he brings his victim back to life? Isn’t life more precious in the eyes of the lord than a marriage covenant, and yet Jesus Christ forgives murder if genuine repentance ensues. We all make mistakes when we live in darkness. But Jesus is the light of the World. He came to the sinners not to the righteous. There are no righteous men on the face of the earth, only Jesus was righteous and this is why he paid the cost. We all bear the scars of our past sins, but there is redemption in Christ Jesus.

      Reply
  28. Ukaegbu victor

    What is the convenant made at a marriage, with my body I worship you, to love and to care, forsaking another man, till death do us part. Now God stamps it. And seals your marriage and later on, u obtain a paper made by man and then say u are divorced? Ok see what marriage convenant is, it is like two eggs broken and poured together into a bowel. Mixed together. Now if you can divide the eggs and bring each york and albumen as they were separately and make then two single eggs, then divorce can do that to the married and make them single again. But if you can’t then know divorce can not make you single. So your first legitimate marriage with your husband or wife when your two were previously singles remains binding on your two period.

    Reply
  29. abby

    A marriage can be violated but not invalidated by adultery committed by either the husband or wife, only death can break the bond of marriage
    Any marriage entered into by any man or woman who has a living preexisting husband or wife is sin of adultery and must be repented and forsaken
    1Corin7:10-11, Matt19:4-6, Mark10:11-12, Matt19:9, Rom7:2-3,
    This subject of divorce and remarriage is well explained in the scriptures and there’s no confusion at all.
    May the Holy Spirit enlarge our hearts to see the truth and obey His words.
    If an issue well treated like this seems confusing even churches, I hope that we will not one day start getting confused about homosexuality etc in the household of God.
    Let’s always keep eternity in view.
    Shalom

    Reply
  30. The burden

    After divorce that wife abandoned me, being young, I remarried a non Christian. I divorced her due to being convicted that adultery is continuous. I hate living, I am depressed, homeless, I have no care for life. I cannot share my life with a lady at all. I have been suicidal because living alone inside isolated is too much to bear. I don’t go to gatherings as other people have wives, girl friends and I am alone without anyone. Just my thoughts. God may care about me and I following his direction. But I am unhappy, depressed, no joy and take no pleasure in life. That has been 40 years ago and pure hell for me of being a hermit. I don’t worship corporately because I cannot stand to see others having a good time and I suffer

    Reply
    1. Marisol j

      this is not from the lord, or serving the lord. I’m so sorry that you would think God wants this from you. God bless you and give you direction.

      Reply
  31. The burden

    I don’t feel sorry for you the rest of us stay in crap marriages because of our stupidity of marrying, creating vows and are unhappy You caused your situation. There is no candy coating it. Bare it

    Reply
  32. Shelia

    My husband and I have been married 26 years. I have been going to church and praying that one day my husband would join me. My husband was married to another woman and married her twice really trying to make it work.Seven years later I met him. We married and 5 years later had a daughter. She’s 21 now. Three weeks ago I was getting ready for work and he called me from his work stating that when we both get home that evening we need to talk. The first thing he told me was the first two years were married he cheated on me twice. Next he opened the Bible and had me read from Matthew and several other books. We went to my pastor and the pastor that married us for counseling. He moved out convinced he would burn in hell for marrying me. Help?

    Reply
    1. Sweetz

      Shelia,
      This is terrible. This is a good time to go to the Lord and see what He says regarding this situation…stay in prayer until the Lord confirms His answer and Will for you. If your husband divorces you, then LET HIM GO. Remain single. Although very serious, remarriage is NOT the unpardonable sin, blaspheming the Holy Spirit is. BUT, your hubby sounds like he’s pushing for another divorce? Confessing two adulteries in YOUR marriage was his way to force YOU to WANT to end this marriage? Does he plan on remaining single if he divorces YET AGAIN…does he have someone else in mind (again)? He cannot earn/get forgiveness simply by causing yet another divorce. He has to confess and STOP doing MORE adultery and MORE divorcing.

      Reply
      1. Lauryn

        I agree with Tim.. I think he pointed out many passages and makes sense. And Jesus did die for our sins.. John 3:16 tells what to do. I’m not saying that its ok to sin ( adultery, fornication, drunkedness, uncleanness, Idolatry, and so many more that you can find in Romans 1, Galations 5 and in other books), I know we are forgiven. Divorce is not of God but if we sin, because we are all sinners, Jesus paid the price. We as believers in God are not to keep sinning. In this, if your in another marriage your not going to hell, ask for forgiveness. I like what you have to say sweetz.

        Reply
  33. Ukaegbu victor

    Your write up is not understood sheila, this man u married, were both of you in your first marriage before he left you to marry another woman or he was already married before your two got married.

    Reply
  34. BD

    Unfortunately, and it hurts, sin takes you farther than you meant to stay or go. It crumbles and devastates and leaves nothing but a war zone behind as you exit it. You will have battle scars from Satans world. If he did not have a scriptural divorce. He should had never married you. If he had a scriptural divorce and still cheated on you, you don’t have to divorce him for his infidelity. The bible does not say you have to as it is a choice. He unfortunately, if there is no scriptural divorce, he spends his life time in misery and pays for his sins as a consequence for his part of not honoring the lords words to not get a divorce. Celibate and totally alone in misery each day until he dies. It’s horrible. Just horrible. Sin sux

    Reply
  35. abby

    In response to victor
    My former husband also has a former living spouse. I pray that they can both reconcile and live together again as husband and wife now that I’ve left him, but the decision is solely his.

    Reply
  36. Jaimee

    To those of you who say it is continual adultery to live remarried, I think YOU are the ones twisting scriptures, like the Pharisees, to suit your desires of an easy way out of marriage, making others feel they should have to be miserable like you. What you are basically saying is that, once the former husband dies, the wife in her remarriage can now truly be forgiven and enter heaven. Yet the wife who stays remarried, and dies before her former husband is going to hell. So it’s just a gamble to see who dies first and who gets to go to heaven? Better to be like David and kill someone’s husband so you can marry whom you want and than just to simply remarry? Do you really think you can manipulate God so? Use the brain He gave you.

    Reply
    1. Andy

      Jaimee, I could not be more agreed with you….so many excuses to get out of a marriage, my ex-wife told me God told her to divorce me…I tried and tried to reconcile and NOTHING…she hurt me so much and now after 3 years I know I forgave her but I won’t want to go back with someone I think would be doing the same thing…I do not love her anymore, not that she told me to go back with her but in case she would propose the idea…..I want to get married again and this has been hard for me because basically I have to be miserable my whole life just because the unwise decision of my ex-wife wanting divorce. I want to restore my life with someone I genuinely love, someone that shows me love and respect and commitment.

      Reply
  37. Shelley

    I have been married 3 times. I was unfaithful in both my first 2 marriages.

    When I met my current husband we had a son. I had reconciled with God around this time. We wanted to get married but I wouldn’t until we knew whether or not the Bible prohibited this. We approached our pastor and he said he could not marry us in church as I was unfaithful in the past. He did agree to conduct a blessing in the church after we had the civil ceremony. I asked him why it was ok to bless this union if he wasn’t able to perform the marriage. He agreed that he should go away and pray about it with the leadership team. After a few weeks he said that after seeking God he was able to marry us. He said that once we repent of a sin its like 1/2

    Reply
  38. Shelley

    2/2

    we never committed that sin in the first place. – Micah 7:19, Psalm 103:12, Romans 8:1, 31–39. Its not that God forgets our sins but they have no bearing on our salvation because we are forgiven. We did get married and have been together ever since (10 years this September).

    I am anxious about whether or not this decision falls on our heads if we should NOT have married. If the Pastor of our church made that decision does he have to take responsibility for it? I would never have married my husband if we had been told that we should not. I am worried that I am living in an adulterous marriage and that I am sinning every single day.

    Reply
    1. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      Shelley,
      YOu are forgiven and your sins have been wiped away. The bible says in Romas 4:7-8 “Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven and covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will NOT count against him.” Genuine repentance is the key. God offers us a new life. The devil brings doubt and confusion. He seeks to make you doubt the goodness and forgiveness of God. Remember that Jesus died on the Cross for all of our sins. The one who believes in Him has eternal life, not the one who obeys all His commandments. If we could fulfill the law we would not need a saviour. See Romans 10:5-13 and rest in His word.

      Reply
    2. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      5 For Moses writes about the righteousness that is based on the law, that the person who does the commandments shall live by them. 6 But the righteousness based on faith says, “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’” (that is, to bring Christ down) 7 “or ‘Who will descend into the abyss?’” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8 But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); 9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. 11 For the Scripture says,…

      Reply
  39. Michelle

    Abby, you are wrong in your statement that the innocent party of a marriage in which adultery (fornication) has been committed, cannot remarry. The Bible clearly states that death is NOT the only way someone can remarry and remain right with God.

    Sweetz, I hear you, and I understand and agree with what you’ve said.

    Reply
  40. B

    Grace and Jesus bore ALL sin for one time. Repentance is a new life. When we mess up we all want grace and our sin too. If you are married to a mate illegally and you really love them it is soul crushing to know you must follow commands or never be right with God. I was one of them. I have horrible moments. It’s not fun being alone as human. Separated in my own thoughts. If the lord lets me live another 30 years, I will die alone in some nursing home miserably. But, prepared for the next life I hope to find happiness. There’s no joy for me here. But there is no joy living in sin and separated from God either. You’ll never be right physically or mentally until you obey unless you cut yourself off from God to live a life of sin.

    Reply
    1. B

      The lord is interested in happiness & he has the best designed plan for you. Whether we cooperate is another story. We never consult God really in these things or if we do, it’s not long enough for an answer as we lead with our human needs. Our wants and desires circumvent his plans for our life. Unless, we stop, meditate, pray, & wait (WAIT) LISTEN! His best may pass us by. God is not a genie in a bottle. Moses said one time we simply will cannot go a further step unless you lead (God). Our world will be unbalanced unless he guides you. If you remarry without his approval it brings unbalancing torcherous times ahead. Not for just you, but all those you drag into your sin. The end is pain. Gods way is not our way. I have to listen.

      Reply
  41. abby

    Where is the place of forgiveness when adultery takes place in a marriage? The fact that adultery took place doesn’t mean the vows/covenant has been nullified. Yes, you may decide to separate if you can not forgive the spouse that committed the adultery but your marital vow is still intact, otherwise there could have been the clause that ’till you commit adultery’, but it is ’till death do us part’.
    Mega blessings

    Reply
    1. Agape

      Abby,
      You’re getting things mixed up. The teaching of Jesus Christ in Matthew 19:9 is clear enough for anybody to understand. It says, “whoever divorces his mate, except on grounds of marital infidelity, and remarries, commits adultery.” Put another way, anyone who divorces and remarries except for reasons of marital unfaithfulness commits adultery. In other words, you are not permitted to divorce and remarry unless your spouse is guilty of marital unfaithfulness. Marital unfaithfulness effevtively nullifies the marriage covenant in the same way that death does. Of course, you can choose to forgive in such cases of marital infidelity but even if you decide to divorce and remarry, you have not sinned.

      Reply
    2. JL

      Adultery: voluntary sexual relations involving a married partner and someone other THAN THEIR SPOUSE. how is remarriage adultery? Looking at all dictionaries, I don’t see the definition as the act of remarrying!

      When does it happen? Honeymoon? The first dance? When the groom kisses the bride? I’m not saying this in a rebellious manner?

      One thing I really hate about fundamentalists is that they’re all charisma and are filled with hypocrisy! I grew up with self centered hypocritical Pentecosts in my family tree!

      Reply
  42. HH

    I think this subject has been beat to death. God told Daniel. You oh man of God continue to follow my ways. Let those who want to continue sinning go their way. And again. With Peter what’s it to you if I let him live till I return, you follow me. God has not forgotten those who decide for themselves in free will to disobey his teachings. As Peter said about Judus, he has gone to his place I know it says to snatch them out of the fire. But it’s always been their choice I am sorry you are alone. I am alone for life too. It’s miserable to walk alone while people smile. But, this subject has been beaten like a dead horse that no one pays attention to. It just smells like the dead horse. People are going to do what they want sadly.

    Reply
    1. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      Romans 10:10 Brothers,[a] my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved. 2 For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. 3 For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness. 4 For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.[b]–) Romans 7:17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out….24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ

      Reply
  43. HH

    BD You are a adulterer. Even if you look at another woman. You needed to confess it to your wife. Let her feel miserable about it and divorce you for your thoughts. That’s marital unfaithfulness undressing women in your mind having sex. Then you can be celibate and alone for the rest of your life. I guess really everyone on this sight needs to tell their mate when they hiccup to we all do the same and live alone and celibate. We must be just super human not to have these problems ourselves. So stupid. God gave a mind and we are totally human. David says the lord knows we are only dust. That’s what we do. We’re the people in the Old Testament better than we. No we are the same with the same issues lighten up.

    Reply
  44. HH

    I guess the Nuns and Monks are the only ones without these problems. They have the gift to be alone, celibate and be hermits. The rest just do not have these gifts and relationships have problems. Jesus knew this. His ways are higher and he knew just as sacrifices never got rid of sin then he would have to do it himself to finalize it once n for all. We are sinners and cannot reach to those standards and he filled the gap. Not that we take advantage of him. He filled the gap. Either you believe in grace or you do not. Christ did. Leave it alone let him handle your sin stop beating yourself and get off the cross. Live your life, what’s left of it anyways. We all die to ourselves daily. He made up the cost for you

    Reply
  45. 12N

    I am so glad that adultery is the only sin that is unforgivable unlike lying, murder, porno, molestation, tail bearing as other small sins. Yep I guess that adultery is number one on God list. It’s all sin, all of it! Imperfect people in a imperfect world of satans. Cast the first stone? All of us have a sin problem. Super Christians we are not. Very few us us including myself may not get in. The whores, drunkards, child rapists may make it in before you and I according to God. I guess adultery is just the worst sin from us or our partner against us. Legalism kills grace every time

    Reply
    1. Cori

      Hi there, any sin (barring against the Holy Spirit) is forgivable and all sin carries equal weight. We are all sinners but if we have faith then we will recognize our transgressions and desire forgiveness. When we sin we will repent and turn from the sin. God loves everyone but cannot tolerate sin. He can forgive and heal us if we are sincerely sorry and ready to obey Him – that goes for any sin.

      Reply
  46. Agape

    The problem is not that the teaching of Jesus on divorce and remarriage is difficult to understand. It is not difficult to understand. Even an elementary school pupil can essily understand it. The problem is that we are unwilling to obey. We just don’t like Jesus’ teaching on divorce & remarriage. As a result, we have cleverly devised various false teachings to explain away Jesus’ teachings on this subject.

    Some people have used the story of the Samaritan woman to justify staying in a remarriage. Others have cited Old Testament laws in Deut. 24. They forget that in all of these exanples, divorce & remarriage were permitted and legal in God’s eyes. But when Jesus came, He abolished divorce & remarriage except for marital infidelity.

    Reply
  47. Agape

    A remarriage (except for marital infidelity) is adultery if that remarriage was contracted while the former spouse of the remarried person is still alive. This is not a single act of adultery but an ongoing, perpetual adultery. True repentance demands that you quit that relationship & either reconcile with your original mate or stay celibate (1 Cor. 7: 10 – 11). You can’t remain in the remarriage & claim to have repented at the same time. If you stole a car, you can’t claim to have truly repented while still keeping the car. Genuine repentance demands that you return the car to its owner. A homosexual couple cannot claim to have repented while maintaining their homosexual union. Similarly, an unscriptural remarriage should be forsaken.

    Reply
    1. TB

      Homosexual marriage is not even considered marriage in Gods eyes, if you live by the law you will be judged by the law. Jesus came to set us free not to remain in bondage. No more condemnation, no No more guilt, no more shame!!!! We are saying what He did on the cross is not enough if we have to keep on paying for our mistakes. Jesus said it is finished, once and for all. We follow His example of forgiveness and realize if we were able to keep the law there would have been no reason for Him to suffer and die in our place. Where sin did abound there Grace does much more abound. We are a new creation in Christ Jesus, old things have passed away, behold He makes all things new!!! Trust God and lean not on your own understanding.

      Reply
    2. Ryan

      If you kill a person and you repent are you going to brink back that person to life? Sometimes religious people bent on legalism throw a lot of words to try to justify their unappreciation of what Grace is. You know divorce is never planned. You may be a victim of it tomorrow and you will find that you cannot control your sexual desires and n that case what does Paul say anyway, If you cannot control your desire get married. Hey friends you live n self condemnation for the rest of your life and that is sin itself. Satan condemns but Holy Spirit convicts. We have played around with words. I hate divorce but their are some marriages which are as good as divorce, so we will be lying to God that we are married.

      Reply
  48. Grace Factor

    I am shocked and saddened as I read that some are so depressed from their understanding on this teaching that they contemplate suicide. This is clearly not the Masters plan for you. My goodness, our Heavenly Father has compassion. He created us for companionship with the opposite sex. Why would He condemn us to eternity in hell if we are victims of divorce?

    Reply
    1. Andy

      I struggle with the same….I can’t not imagine God would be so hard on us with such a delicate thing…I never desired to divorce, my ex-wife chose that route and she did all the paper work, while I was praying that maybe that wouldn’t happen but it did so now what? live miserable and single? I don’t want to! I want to marry again, restore my life, I am 35 years old and I refuse to think I have to remain single for the rest of my life….that’s horrible…that would be a horrible God and I don’t think God wants us to live that way.

      Reply
  49. Denise

    God gave the word in the beginning not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil lest they would die and the devil deceived Eve into believing that God did not mean what he said and she ate from the tree, as well as her husband, and death came to us all. God gave them a choice to be obedient or disobedient and likewise he gives us the same choice when it comes to divorce and remarriage; we can allow ourselves to become deceived into believing that it is okay and remarry into adultery or believe the word of God and remain unmarried or reconcile after getting divorced, but the choice is ours. In God’s permissive will, we can do just what we want, but on that day we will pay for disobeying his word.

    Reply
    1. Ryan

      Guys we lie to each other that we are like 2 eggs mixed never like that we are 2 human beings with distinct separate minds and neither would know what is on the other’s mind, we lie if we say that. You cannot stay condemned forever because of the sin of your partner. You make God look brutal, he s not, He is love he looks at your heart, you did not like divorce but it happened maybe because of an unbelieving spouse, and He sees you like to have a family, why would he condemn you, only the devil condemns not the God I know.

      Reply
  50. Sean

    Yes, sin is horrible. Forgiven, but you bare the consequence for the rest of life for wrong decisions whether a Christian or not. You brought this on yourself and need to get out of your self pity party and run the race before you. I am married and have children. I sought God before I made these decisions. What did you do? What kind of sin were you into? I bet you never once considered the consequence of marrying a non believer or their circumstance before marriage. The old, well, we are in love does not produce a marriage. I do not feel for you as you have done this to yourself by not following the lords design. You cannot expect apples on a orange tree. You cannot expect marriage without Gods design. Read your bible and get on it.

    Reply
    1. Thomas

      I just said that I really like your response I made the mistake of marrying a divorced woman that had lied to me and played victim

      And regardless even though her ex-husband did cheat on her is she legally have the right to marriage in the eyes of God
      She was not a true believer and boy I suffer from us 20 years and still suffering but I have no one to blame but myself I totally agree with your comments

      Reply
  51. John Smith

    PART 1

    What I have come to see as a pattern is very disturbing to me. Most people who believe that marriage to a second spouse, for reasons other than “immorality,” is NOT a sin, are re-married. Most who believe that the second marriage, for reasons other than “immorality,” IS a sin, are single or married (to one spouse). Do you see what is happening? We are interpreting scripture to fit our situation, not the other way around. It is a terrible thing to me when scripture is twisted around simply to fit one’s circumstance. This should never be, brothers and sister! The question posed is this: Am I committing adultery if I re-marry for reasons other than “immorality?”

    Reply
  52. John Smith

    PART 9

    Given that Paul did not cite a reason for divorce, nor indicate a consequence of divorce, it is reasonable to stated that this territory, and the judgment of this issue, belongs to God and not to Christians. There are many Christians who call remarriage sin. Well, I have news for you judgmental Christians, because you may have forgotten Paul’s words in the subsequent verses of 1 Cor. 7. Paul states this, 1Co 7:26-28, “I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned…”

    Reply
  53. John Smith

    PART 10

    You see the issue that is really raised when asking the question, “What happens if a Christian divorces another Christian, for ANY reason, and then marries another?”, is whether they are in sin. Paul did not state that re-marriage was a sin. He simply stated that the unmarried must remain “unmarried.” God is consistent, and would not contradict Himself. Marriage and re-marriage can cause turmoil in one’s life, and this more than any other is the reason it is prudent to remain unmarried. But I have met Godly people, blessed by God, who were re-married. I have also met terrible Christians who have been married once. The point? Don’t judge what God has not yet judged; nor cast doubt upon another’s marriage. Not our place!

    Reply
    1. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      Thank you John Smith. The word of God convicts each of us of the sin in our lives. Romans 14:. 22 THE FAITH THAT YOU HAVE KEEP BETWEEN YOURSELF AND GOD. BLESSED IS THE ONE WHO HAS NO REASON TO PASS JUDGEMENT ON HIMSELF FOR WHAT HE APPROVES … FOR WHATEVER DOES NOT PROCEED FROM FAITH IS SIN[d] God has given us each discernment by the holy spirit. We must pray unceasingly for the will of God in our lives. IT IS OUR MOTIVES THAT GOD CARES ABOUT. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES AND THIS IS WHY JESUS CAME TO HELP US RECTIFY BY FAITH, COVERED BY GRACE. 1st cor 8:2 Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. 2The one who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. 3But the one who loves God is known by God.…

      Reply
  54. Cori

    My husband of 17 years left me a year ago and moved in with a woman he met at work. He has previously held a church position and sought out Christian counselling from many sources before making his decision. Their affair has badly hurt both our family and hers. They are both determined that nothing will come between them. My husband no longer goes to church – we used to go every Sunday as a family. My husband wants a divorce but I do not. I am sure, once able to, he will divorce me. Surely if they ever marry God cannot accept their union. The 6 months of deception that they practiced has left our child in clinical depression. My husband, who gave his life to Christ about 10 years ago, is unrepentant of the affair.

    Reply
    1. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      Cory. Pray my dear sister and submit to the Lord. Let all bitterness, wrath and anger leave your presence. Be kind and tenderhearted and forgiving just as God in Christ has forgiven you. Eph. 4:31. God will not let you be humiliated beyond what he cannot repair. He prepares a table in the presence of your enemies, but He alone is the one who will fight this battle. Whether it is for restoration or for a new thing in your life, only the Lord can heal. Ask God to help you forgive your husband and the woman and to help you pray for his repentance. This is your refining moment. God’s timing is perfect and nothing comes into our lives without it first going through God’s filter. His counsel shall stand. Isahia 46:9

      Reply
  55. Bj

    This is a lonely season for all concerned. After counseling so many troubled marriages there seems to be a theme. “We all do not understand why we do the things we do as getting lost within ourselves to find our way home”. I think the bible is riddled with the human condition of lost and found, aggressively seeking compassionately towards the one who is hanging out in dark places mentally or physically. I see a hand of comfort and mercy for the weak and strong urging to come home. Sometimes, the compassionate happens when we finally awake and see ourselves in the aha moment before we close our eyes one last time and ask forgiveness. This is a tough playground on earth, there is no perfect life even as a Christian. I love you all.

    Reply
  56. joe

    I never even dated my first wife I was young and crazy we didn’t know each other and I was living in sin. I sinned big time, I never should have married a woman I didn’t know. God knows all things, People do stupid things all the time like get drunk in Vegas and get married just for fun especially here in the USA. Do you really believe God joined that marriage together? For you who believe that everyone that is in a remarriage is in a constant state of sin. Jesus said it is what comes out of man defiles a man. Judge all you want but with the same measure you use it will be used to you also. Did Jesus tell the woman at the well to go back to her first husband, or second or third or fourth or fifth ? Jesus was God in the flesh.

    Reply
    1. Destiny Estrada

      The turning point is when you become a Christian. When you know Christ – you repent (forgiveness & turn away from the sin) & then you are made into a new creature.

      Reply
  57. Monique

    OK. Here’s my dilemma to compound this argument further. I have been married 3 times. I was a harlot by all meanings. My husbands have also been unfaithful. I pretended to be Christian but I believe I was not. My current husband who is number 3 and I are just now trying to find our way in a Christian life. I at the start of this evening actually considered divorce for the sake of our souls. But the comments have confused me. My husband had an adulterous affair and I vowed to stay with him that was about 8 years or so ago. What happens to people who were not with the Lord in their other marriages but in the marriage that they are in they are trying to find the Lord. I am reading all the passages named by both sides and I still can’t (cont.)

    Reply
    1. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      I am like you Monique. You are fine. Don’t let the devil confuse you and take your eyes off of Jesus. He is grace. Focus on Him what He wants to produce in your life through this new trial. The past is done and over. 2nd Cor. 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! – I can tell by the way you confess your past that you understand and repent of your mistakes. Yet,They have left scars. It is time to deal with our inner self and let God restore, and no longer focus on our spouse, because that is what has led us here. God can restore any bad marriage. He is not concerned with whether it is the first or 10th, he cares about refining you and pulling out roots. Believe, trust, hope

      Reply
  58. Ukaegbu victor

    For all who are confused with this marriage issue, please add this group restoring christian marriage on Facebook. Your questions will be attended to.

    Reply
  59. Destiny Estrada

    One thing I have noticed a lot of people saying is – divorce is acceptable for adultery. Not true folks 🙂 re-read your verses – it says FORNICATION. Fornication was the act of sex before marriage. Any time you are unfaithful during your marriage, that is ADULTERY, not fornication. & adultery requires reconciliation. Fornication was basically a product of this scenario: a man would go to consummate with his bride whom he believed was a virgin then realized she was actually defiled or not a virgin. He then had the choice to put her away & remarry. That’s not a typical situation nowadays. & he didnt HAVE TO put her away, it was a choice if she had been dishonestabout her virginity. So “cheating” in a marriage is not a reason for a divorce.

    Reply
    1. D

      Sorry this is completely incorrect. The word used in the text eas porneia. It encompasses a wide range of sexual immorality porneia: This Greek word occurs 25 times in the New Testament. The word has a wide variety of meanings and means more than adultery. In order to understand the meaning of this word lets start with Jesus’ familiar statement in Matthew 19:9 where He says,
      And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matt. 19:9 (also see Mark 10:11-12)
      In this passage Jesus uses 2 Greek words, PORNEIA and MOICHAO. The first Greek word is translated in this verse as “immorality” and MOICHAO as “adultery.”http://www.neverthirsty…

      Reply
  60. Sweetz

    So then Destiny…by your reasoning, God is MORE concerned with the chasity of a person PRIOR to marriage than He is about what a person does when committing adultery after a marriage has already been consumated? I do not think so. Why then, were adulterers STONED to death…and fornicators NOT stoned to death??? You have it backwards.

    Reply
  61. Destiny Estrada

    That’s how it was – during THAT time. It was a choice the man had if the woman was dishonest about her virginity. Read up on what they used to do to fornicators 😉 I’m just stating facts, not opinions. I don’t get into opinions because biblically they don’t matter. I believe there is “room for grace” when a marriage was not intended by God, because it says “what GOD unites, let not man separate”. How do you know when God is uniting?

    Reply
    1. Sweetz

      Since the “Era” of stoning, we NOW have divorce as the New Testament remedy for the sin of adultery…unlike in the Middle East who STILL stone adulterers and fornicators and homosexuals. We can also forgive instead NOW, whereas there was not even THAT option in the Old Testament. We are in the Era of GRACE.

      God unites us when we make/confess a marriage VOW…it is a verbal UNION. It is giving our WORD in a promise…unbelievers are considered married too when they pledge their vows. Vows are a “contract” that God recognizes. We should not break our vows AND we should not remarry unless we have been a victim of adultery and decide to divorce OR if an unbelieving mate divorces us and then marries another (enters into another…

      Reply
      1. Ryan

        Sweetz, so those vows done by gays when they marry each other are recognized by God? When known Satanists marry each other its God joining them? Not all marriages are God ordained.

        Reply
    2. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      Destiny, do you know the story of the adulterous woman who was brought to Jesus to be stoned because she had been caught in adultery? John 8:5-11 Did Jesus stone her? NO, he said “Alright, but let anyone who has not sinned throw the first stone”. D What did Jesus finally say to the woman about condemning her to death ” “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” — God forgave the criminal on the cross next to him and he did not have time to figure out all of the idiosyncrasies of his salvation. No one has the right to say who is going to hell or heaven. Every single one of us, including you, will stand before the judgment of God. Self-righteousness is an afront to God’s grace. It is mercy, not sacrifice that I desire, sayeth the Lord!

      Reply
    3. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      Phillipians 2:12-13 1and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. 12Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now even more in my absence, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. 13For it is God who works in you to will and to act on behalf of His good pleasure.…PLEASE DO NOT FORGET THAT WE ARE GOD’S WORKMANSHIP. ADULTERY AND ALL OTHER SINS ARE AN ABOMINATION TO THE LORD, BUT THEY ALL QUALIFY FOR FORGIVENESS WHEN THE HOLY SPIRIT CONVICTS AND TRUE REPENTANCE ENSUES. GOD IS MERCIFUL . WORK OUT YOUR OWN SALVATION WITH TREMBLING AND FEAR. REPENT FOR THE END IS NEAR, AND IT IS NOT FOR ANYONE TO DETERMINE WHO HAS OR HAS NOT REPENTED.

      Reply
  62. Sweetz

    So then the question STILL remains…or I should say, the argument. Does God DEMAND for us to divorce in order to be SAVED? I think not. I think He demands that we STOP the cycle of trashing VOWS and work out our issues…or separate and later be reconciled if possible. We CAN divorce if adultery is the issue, but we do not HAVE to. We took VOWS before God…He recognizes those and desires for us to keep them. BUT, He also recognizes serious sin (adultery/abandonment) and gives GRACE to those victims. He does not exile them to a life of loneliness and misery. If you are now already remarried…stay that way, stop breaking more promises to God. Big problems? Just separate instead of divorcing. Perhaps God will help you.

    Reply
  63. Sweetz

    If you are contemplating a divorce thinking that THAT is some form of repentance, think again. You are breaking a serious Vow to God AGAIN. He NEVER told us to do such a thing to be forgiven for remarriage. Also, if you are a cheater, don’t be surprised if your mate DOES divorce you if you do not repent. THEY CAN go on to remarry if they want to. It is far better than you being stoned (as was once commanded and practiced). You are lucky that you have a chance to examine yourself and live to repent. But YOU are the one who is to remain ALONE since YOU are the one who would have “died” for THAT sin in the days of Old. Now you have the Grace to live and repent…being alone IS your repentance unless you are lucky enough to…

    Reply
  64. Kjc

    I got saved and my husband and I got married last year! Well yes I’ve been married before. My thing is God says that once we are forgiven that are sins are forgotten that as the east is from the west so is our sins from Him! He says we are a new creature in Him! Now I’m not trying to make any excuses for me or anyone else! But if God says that aren’t we making Him a liar if we don’t believe that? Yes divorce and remarriage is a sin except for adultery or death! I’ve been cheated on by other husband and widowed twice! I know that my track record isn’t good! But whatever I did before I came to God is forgotten! I believe when I asked for forgiveness that I can stand on the Word of God and believe His word that it is as if they never…

    Reply
    1. truthsaves Post author

      Folks, please remember that there is a comment length limit for a reason. I will delete all comments that are strung together to create an extremely long comment. Keep your comment short and within the length limit. Thanks.

      Reply
  65. Jessikah

    I am engaged to someone whose wife divorced have because he did make enough and she married someone else shortly after. Will he be in sin if he married me?

    Reply
  66. Kjc

    Jessikah
    No if she divorced him and remarried and he never cheated on her since they were married then no your fine to marry!

    Reply
  67. Tiff

    I would have to go with the scripture talking about if a nonbeliever lets a believing spouse go then they are not bound. So there is no blindness to them into death because they are not bound from that point on. Also adultery is forgives me… Please forgive me for not giving scripture but I hope you will google and research this yourself… But there is another scripture talking about if we keep the commandment of thou shall not commit adultery then we have to keep all the laws and transgress not in one law or be guilty of all! The scripture in the New Testament also said that a murderer cannot inherit the kingdom of God neither can an adulterer. So that means that your title disappears with forgiveness because God is faithful to forgive

    Reply
    1. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      Good job Tiff. You are so on point! Yes, there is no one who qualifies to gain entrance into heaven on their own merit. This is the hope we have in Jesus. He takes our place. Jesus seeks a humble and contrite heart,not one that thinks they know what He will and will not do. Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess the Jesus is Lord. We must seek to be like Jesus in all we do, and the only way to do that is by seeking His face in His word daily, so that the Holy Spirit will continue to give us guidance in our walk, and also to use us in the lives of other’s through our love of God. WE can do nothing of ourselves, only to surrender all of our lives to God and let him mend our wounds that our sin has cause in our lives.

      Reply
  68. Steven clews

    Very good discussion, wow, ya’ll really are desiring to do the right thing as far as God is concerned. Each situation is different and unique. I never wanted a divorce but was handed one So I had no choice? I would like to remarry but I’m wanting the Holy Spirit to guide me. You must remember, the bible is for believers, not unbelievers. I would really like to know the absolute truth concerning remarriage. Am I trying to fill a void God wants to occupy? I hope not, because I truly want his best, including peace and joy in this decision. we need not the rules but divine power to guide each situation. May God bless you

    Reply
    1. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      I love your comment about “filling a void God wants to occupy”-this is the key as I see it. Everyone single one of us has the desire to love and be loved in return. But not many of us seek to Love God and to receive His love for us. Metaphorically, God claims to be our husbands, women and men alike, and I believe it is because He is our example’ To love sacrificially. We seek our spouses to fill the void God can only occupy, but He wants us to love the way He loves us. After two divorces and a third broken marriage that I am holding on to, I am now believing in faith that God will do a miracle for His Glory. but through this trial I have learned how to love God above all things, even my husband. I trust in Him now not in myself.

      Reply
  69. Steve

    There has to be a clear revelation in the matter. I had a spouse leave me and to my understanding, I am free to remarry, but it should only be a believer. This is how I see it and if I’m wrong, then I pray God will correct me. Right now, I’m just patient. Clearly says that the Holy Spirit will guide you so I have to believe. All the same, I feel inadequate to offer my view for another in my situation. I don’t feel that I’m good alone and truly desire a mate .

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    1. Kelly Childress

      Steve, if your spouse left you and is with another your free to marry..I’m remarried and I was afraid I was in adultery, but read Romans 7:1-6 , we are freed from the law and Deuteronomy 24 :1-4 and yes Paul said to remain single or be reconciled but that’s only if your spouse hasn’t been with another person and your both Christians, and yes if your a Christian you have to marry in the Lord..also read 1 Corinthians 7: especially 17-29 ..God bless you brother

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  70. DG

    I am having an affair with a man. He divorced his wife. I am divorcing my husband. We plan to marry. I repent everyday. Will God forgive us and bless our marriage. Do we have a chance? His wife and my husband are free to remarry. It sounds so harsh, but I truly am so sorry but I love this man. I just want to do right by God. I decided to end our relationship until all divorces are finalized, Please don’t lash out, I already understand the severity of the situation and am asking for prayer more than anything.

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    1. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      DG, God bless you for confessing your sin. Don’t focus so much on beating yourself up. Pray to the Lord and seek His guidance. It’s easy for anyone to say that God is against you, but I know it’s not that simpole. First check your motives when you say you “love this man”. Love is feeling of lust, and you once loved your husband. the heart is wicked. Ask God to reveal to you what it is that is driving you to sin in such a manner. You have lost the fear of the Lord and have become entangled in the snare of the enemy. I Pray with the authority I have in Jesus Christ against the spirit of lust, adversity and confusion. I bind and cast out the influence of satan and I pray for a hedge of protection (cont.) part 1

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      1. Lynn

        I fear for you. I was lonely and neglected in my first marriage and disobeyed God to have an affair and remarry a man I thought loved me more. He turned out to be lying and cheating and gay. We always reap what we sow. Suffering and being lonely in a first bad marriage is hard but still easier than getting yourself into yet another new mess. God doesn’t bless sin. I am learning the hard way. I agree with Tim. And not because I want to. I would like to leave my crappy remarriage and had even filed papers and separated. But I felt convicted that two wrongs don’t make a right and to stay and try to forgive and pray for him. My ex even told me to stay and pray. He wouldnt take me back. He reminded me that I chose to leave and marry this man.

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    2. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      (part 2) over your mind. May the peace that transcends all human understanding guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. I destroy every argument and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. You are not too far from the reach of the Lord, and there is no sin too great for Him. Sin brings death, but the spirit of the Lord brings Life. God bless you my dear sister. He has the last word,and no one can be plucked out of His hands. Submit to the lord and run from evil, and he will deliver you from ALL unrighteousness. “LORD JESUS, GIVE HER EYES TO SEE, EARS TO HEAR, AND A HEART TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHICH YOU HAVE SET FORTH FOR HER. LET NOT THE LOCUST EAT HER BLESSING. IN JESUS…

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  71. Sweetz

    What good are our prayers for you when you have already decided to keep doing this wickedness DG? Will you REALLY stop, go no further, and turn to do the Will of God at this point? I feel sorry for you…but I pray that the hard lessons about putting God first will be the final end result of what you WILL have to suffer for this sin. Ask me how I know…I suffered ten years for doing the EXACT same thing, but we ended up divorced because of even MORE immorality (his). Cheaters…cheat. They feel “entitled” and once the daily grind of life takes over, he will cheat on “special” you too. It is INSANE to expect a blessing from God for continuing in this direction.
    I remain alone to honor God. I am finally happy and at peace with…

    Reply
  72. Sweetz

    Repentance is not about “crying and feeling bad” while there is still an opportunity TO DO THE RIGHT THING. Repentance takes ACTION regardless of how sad it makes you feel DG. If you insist that you will continue to be a cheater and marry your cheater partner, then EXPECT heartbreak in the future. That is God’s way of chastising you if you are indeed His child. You might have 5, or maybe 10yrs of a “good life”…but you will be living with a cloud of judgement hovering over your life while looking over your shoulder for signs of further immorality sins. God will bring you back full circle when you have been totally broken and willing to surrender to Him…THEN and only then, can He bless you and wash you clean from this sin…

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  73. Beulah

    There are two eg.s of remarriage with a living ex spouse in the Bible.
    1. Herod and Herodias. John the Baptist lost his head calling out the fact that Herod was remarried to Philip’s wife. He did no say “you have your brother’s ex-wife”. She was divorced from Philip but John was still calling her Philip’s wife. (Jesus called John the Baptist the greatest man born of woman)
    2. David and Michal. Michal was remarried to Palieth but David went and took Michal back even with Palieth wailing for him not to. (David was the man who did everything right in God’s eyes except the Uriah business)
    I am divorced and remarried neither of these stories give me comfort that God somehow recognises my second marriage. Pray that Gid gives me his…

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  74. jay

    my ex wife cheated on me and got pregnant by her co worker so our marriage ended in divorce not only that she also loves the father of her baby, she is not even sorry for her infidelity. I pray to God that He will give me another chance to love again and He answered my prayers by giving me a very loving wife & 3 beautiful children. God sees our hearts and I know God does not want everyone to be cheated on and be abuse hundreds of times because He is a merciful loving God of justice. and I know God blesses my 2nd marriage.

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  75. k

    Does that mean a murderer will go to hell because they broke the ten commandments too?
    No, stop being do ignorant. If this is do wrong then how did King David make it into heaven? Think about that you marderers.

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  76. Kris

    The verse “Be still and know that I am God” comes to mind after reading all of these comments. As I myself am searching. I am on my second marriage. My and husband and I both were married at young ages for a short period of time no kids from previous marriages, etc…. We have been married for 13 years, but just recently did I read the verse that says I am an adulterer for marrying again. I didn’t know it was a sin to marry again. I knew divorce adultery, etc….was a sin of course, but wasn’t living in the state of divorce. The verse has weighed heavily upon me because I want to please and walk with God. We have a child together. So at this time the only answer I have is to pray for God to lead me into righteousness, listen and be…

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  77. Kris

    My one question is why do ministers perform second marriages without questioning the divorce of the 1st marriage if they know it is a sin to remarry in many cases?

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  78. Isiah

    Revelation 22: 15; 1 But outside are dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and whoever loves and practices a lie.
    1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. A lot of these comments sound like that salvation is work based. I hope nobody on her looks at pornography, masterbates, is a drunkard, idolater, sex outside of marriage, etc. Surely because you only married once, you don’t sin elsewhere?

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  79. Michelle

    This is a great eye-opener for all of us, I was too married for many years, I married at the age of 20 and had children. I was very loyal although he slept around with many women. We also suffered domestic violence due to his drug abuse. After 7 years of separation, I filed for a divorce. If I knew the truth about marriage and adultery I would have never married. I do not believe my marriage was ordained by the Father in Heaven as I was not in covenant with the creator. Now I have completely come out of Babylon and obey all His commandments and Feast Laws. I keep the 7th day Sabbath Holy unto Yahweh. We also must keep all the commandments as we will also be judged for disobedience to the other commands. Is a defacto classed as marriage?

    Reply
    1. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      MIchelle, you keep ALLl the other commandments? Are you sure about that? It seems that you are deceiving yourself or you are making God to be a liar. “Romans13:10 SAYS “There is no one righteous, not even one;….20.Therefore no one will be justified in His sight by works of the Law. For the Law merely brings awareness of sin.” and 1st John 1:8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. Be careful sweetheart, because NO ONE keeps ALL the commandments. Do not take yourself out from under God’s grace.If Paul states in Gal 2:21I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!” then why would you say that you keep the law in tact…

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  80. PlzHelp

    I started seeing my husband when he was married and him and his wife eventually got divorced, not because of adultery, but because they were both unhappy in the marriage. I committed adultery no matter what it might say on paper, and that man and I ended up getting married later on. We both were believers when we committed this sin and we both asked for forgiveness, but now I am hearing that I am continuing to commit adultery now that I have remarried a divorced man? For me to repent does that mean to get divorced from him and stay unmarried or does that mean to humble myself before God and try to move forward and except whatever “natural” consequences come from what we have done and try to live right before God in this marriage?

    Reply
    1. MARISOL JOSEPH-GERGES

      Plz Help, If you have repented, the Lord has forgiven you. Please just keep seeking the Lord daily, and don’t get distracted by the enemy’s accusations. God forgives you. We can’t rectify the past, and the word of God says that “All things work together for the Good of those who love the Lord and have been called according to his purposes. Rom. 8:28. Receive his forgiveness and move on. I cry sometimes for the pain that I caused my first husband, but I know that it Godly sorrow. I am so sorry, but I can’t go back 17 years. I just got saved 5 years ago. God has covered it. His plans are perfect, you and I were created for such a time as this. Don’t condemn yourself. Let God use your repentance for his glory and for his kingdom…

      Reply

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