Jikky’s Christian Testimony

I don’t know where to begin. The last time I had written a testimony was back in 2010 when my mother was first diagnosed with breast cancer. I had written a witness of how Jesus had taken us through that difficult time. That writing was the first and the last until now. Here I am now writing again to proclaim and testify that Jesus is truly alive.

When the year began, I remember thinking that this is the third year since the cancer and only two more years to go to be off the cancer medication, be cancer free and cross the five-year mark.

But it all crumbled down. Not long ago, we came to find out that the cancer was back. It was shocking. We were devastated. We had thought that we were over this ordeal and that the experience we had in 2010 was the pinnacle in our lives that we needed to find God. We had so many questions. How come this had come again on us? We were supposed to go on with our normal happy comfortable lives. It just wasn’t fair. Not for my mother to go through this again. As we faced this looming darkness building up before us, we were shattered into a thousand little pieces with our uncertainties. It was as if we faced death itself.

It started with an unsuspecting pneumonia, which was treated. This was followed by cough and then suddenly one day right vocal cord palsy. The local tests showed a suspicion of a spread. Our hearts sank as we realized that we had to now prepare to start on another journey. We didn’t know what to do and what was going to happen. We were stepping into a deep dark tunnel and sinking down into it without knowing its end.

All that we took with us when we left for my mother’s treatment was words spoken to us by a visitor who came to pray for us before we left. He said to be prepared to see all the medical facts one by one. He said that we would be overwhelmed by them but to remember that Jesus is above these facts because He is the truth. The preacher said to believe in His miracle and to ask Him for healing. It was with these words and few strands of hope that we left our home. But little did we know at that time that these very words were going to transform us.

Once the diagnosis started, just as the preacher said, one after another we got fact after fact after fact. A pet scan that was done confirmed that the cancer had progressed, not just to the lungs but also to the kidney. The doctors started a new chemo drug in tablet form. My mother had to swallow about eight tablets of these two times a day. She started having very bad side effects including very bad diarrhea and mouth sores. She couldn’t eat anything that she once liked. It was so painful. The doctors advised, after realizing her age, that it was better to give her a “good quality of life” since anyway she will become resistant to these drugs as well. In other words, don’t struggle and fight, just give in and let it be.

We went in search of hope and got none. Not only were we devastated but also helpless with what was happening to us. All we had was the Bible.

After two months, we decided to go for a second opinion in our own country. And we started a new chemo that had less side effects. My mother managed to complete two cycles but during this time, the palsy worsened to bilateral palsy. My mother had a two millimeter gap in which to breathe. She was breathless with every movement and her breathing was so heavy and loud. She was deteriorating so badly. She was so tired. I could see that she was so weak and wanted to give up. She just couldn’t be free and normal. She couldn’t sleep well at nights because of the breathing. She couldn’t eat properly. There was times were she would just lean against me and rest. And there was nothing we could do. We felt so helpless and desperate to make things right.

We finally decided to do a laser treatment in February 2014 to her vocal chords but unfortunately after a few days she developed swelling. And that was the first time that she suddenly stopped breathing. It was chaos that day. My father was alone with her in the hospital when the medical team rushed and tried to resuscitate her. My father saw her slip away before his very eyes. He said “I thought she was gone.” But by the grace of our Lord Jesus and the medical experts, Mummy was given her life back. Jesus was not finished with His work. After a few days, an emergency tracheotomy had to be done. With that her voice was gone and her normal eating stopped. She was on nose tube feeding. She was put in a critical care unit because her condition became worse. Within a few days she developed multiple viral bacteria in her blood and multiple infections including her lungs which were already weak. She had to be on a ventilator. She was isolated to minimize contamination.

She was struggling for weeks. Then one night in March, for the second time, we lost her. The infection in her lungs was so bad that a mucus plug dislodged and blocked her airway. She stopped breathing. Her heart stopped for several long minutes while the CCU teams tried resuscitate her. This time it was worse than the first. Her lungs had collapsed. Finally they managed to get her pulse but there was no response in her eyes. I remember that night as all this happened. The doctors said that it didn’t look good. They said they had done the best they could. We were crushed. We called our close family back home and informed them so that they could travel immediately to be with us. We called our parish priest who was just about to start the weekend service in church. He said be strong, pray. That night, my father and sisters held hands and prayed together along with the hundreds of people who prayed with us at the same time.

We had reached an end. It was the bottom. There was nothing to do except wait in that darkness. There was no consolation. What was remaining was only hope and prayer. Each of us were alone even though we were together. We told each other to pray, keep praying and be strong to face whatever happened. We gave it all up to Him. We let go and let Jesus do His work. We placed our trust in Him. We remembered the fact and the truth. We submitted our mother to Him who is the Way and the Life; to Jesus who is Love. We finally gave it all up to His will because we believed no matter what happened that it would be good, even though we may not understand it.

While we waited there in that room that night, we recalled Jesus’ love and His compassion and all the miracles He did when he was alive. He healed all who came to Him. He healed all who had faith. He told each of them that it was their faith that made them well. The blind were able to see. The crippled were able to walk again. He not only healed, He raised a little girl to life. He raised Lazarus who was dead for four days! So if you go to Him, will he not heal you too? He never turned anyone away. So go to Him. He is life and the giver of life. Life is His to give and take. And as long as our hearts go on beating, we as His children can go on asking Him. And go on praying to our heavenly Father.

My mother made it through that night. Praise God. And since then every day she has been miraculously improving! She was in CCU in isolation and on a ventilator for several weeks and was even in danger of renal failure which would have required dialysis. But she gradually pulled through. She is now recovering and rehabilitating slowly. We saw Jesus alive as Mummy slowly began to make more and more improvements.

By His mercy Mummy is back again, stronger than ever before.

We thought the multiple infections would damage Mummy but Jesus healed her.

We thought she would never come out of CCU but Jesus took her out.

We thought she would always be on a ventilator or some breathing machine but Jesus gave her life back and restored her lungs. She is breathing on her own now.

We thought she would need to be on oxygen support all the time but God has saved her of that.

We thought Mummy would always be feeding through a tube in her nose but by God’s grace, the tube is removed and she is eating and swallowing soft food, even with the trach tube! Finally she can taste normal food.

We thought she would need dialysis, but her creatinine levels improved and by God’s mercy she doesn’t need it.

We thought Mummy would never be able to speak again, but now she can with the tube. She can finally talk after suffering several weeks of silence.

We thought Mummy would never be able to walk again and be ridden in a wheelchair but with God’s strength she is slowly walking now.

Jesus healed my mother and is continuing to heal her and will heal her completely. And we will go on praying for that.

What I want to say to all who read this — is never ever lose hope even when you think there is none. Don’t ever give up. Place all your hope in Christ, even if doctors tell you they have done their best and even if people remind you of what can happen. Only when men have done their best and there is nothing more left to do, can Jesus come to take control over the situation. Only then can the healing come from Jesus himself and only then can He do His miracle. We have to make room for Him and make way for Him to come into our lives and allow Him to do His work in us. We must not be troubled or worried of what He is going to do. Because whatever it is, it will be good. Give it up to Him, trust Him and be at peace in that faith.

If you don’t know what to do, give it up to God and leave it to Him. He will lead you because Jesus is the way. Just follow Him. If you are feeling hopeless and that all is lost, look to Jesus’ suffering, his strength and his perseverance. He overcame so that you can also overcome like He did. Jesus was so wounded but He carried His cross all the way to Calvary. He fell down three times but he still got up and went on. He fell, He rose. He fell, He rose again. He fell but he still rose and completed what He had to do. He knew he was going to die but he still went on for our sake. So that today when we suffer unjustly in this world, we know how to cope and be strong.

Even when He was dying on the cross, He was full of love and forgiveness. And he stayed strong, persevered, faced death and finally overcame death. He won over it and He rose. And he is alive now. No matter what facts you see and hear, Jesus is the only Truth.

He said ask and you will receive. These are Jesus’ own words. It is his personal promise to you. So ask Him and have faith. He said to ask in His name. So believe and ask in His name. Believe in the words that He spoke from his own lips. This promise is from the same mouth that spoke the words which created this whole world and this universe. He said heaven and earth will pass but His words will not pass away. So take this promise and believe, and have faith and ask in Jesus’ name.

Don’t be like the Israelites in the desert. Even after saving them from hundreds of years of slavery and bondage in Egypt, and even after dividing the mighty sea before their very eyes, they were still complaining when they didn’t get food. They said God had abandoned them. But God will never forsake His own children. You may abandon Him when you are afraid, but He will never abandon you. You may hate Him for the suffering that you are going through, but He will always love you.

So don’t doubt God when things happen. God is good. I believe all things that happen in this life are with His permission. Every single thing is under His control, even if we suffer innocently and it seems unfair. And even if we or others make wrong decisions. I know in my heart that God loves us and He will save us. Just as Jesus suffered innocently but it was the only way to save us. I admit that I cannot understand some things sometimes. But I am not meant to understand everything because He is God. No matter what I do and how hard I try, I just won’t be able to figure Him out because I am only human. But I have to believe that what we go through may be a small part in a bigger picture that we do not see.

We just have to trust Him because He is our Father, our Creator. So don’t be afraid of anything because we are safe in our Father’s hands. So be at peace when you pray. And be at peace when you have faith in Him. And don’t be afraid of facts anymore because Jesus loves and Jesus heals.

Remember one thing — you have to go to Him and ask him for help.

Turn to the Word of God and you will see it become alive in your lives. In John 14:6 Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life.” In our journey these words of God became alive in our lives. We felt Him and experienced Him. He was the way that we followed because we didn’t know what to do and where to go or who would help us if we needed help. But we followed Jesus. He took us through each day, one at a time. Each day we just submitted to Him and we let Him lead the way. He was ahead of us and we just followed. And every day we got the facts from the doctors, but Jesus was the truth — the truth that healed and overcame these facts. We saw it with our own eyes. Each day that He gave us was a miracle. He showed us His Love. Jesus said “I am the Life.” He gave my mother her life back not once, but two times! He truly is Life. He breathed His life into her and restored her.

Thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you. Thank you for choosing us among millions to reveal this to us. Thank you for choosing to touch us with your love, for choosing us and revealing your glory and for choosing us for your miracle. We are nothing and no one but yet you chose us. Thank you Lord. Thank you.

How can we come before you and even utter these words of thanks to you Lord? Because all that happened was because of your mercy and love that we didn’t deserve. I have no words except praise your name Lord. Glory to my Lord, my God, my Father in heaven. Even I had questioned you and asked you why. But now it makes perfect sense, because your love can only be made perfect in the weakest. It is only when we have reached the depths and darkness of the bottom that you lifted us out of the very deep. I would not have known how much you loved me if I had not been so deep down. This life is not everything. Being with our Father in heaven is everything. Our comfort is only with Him.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
Revelation 21:3,4 (ESV)

The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son.
Revelation 21:7 (ESV)

So don’t be troubled anymore. Don’t cry and don’t give up. You are not alone. Our Lord, our Creator, Our Father who is Love is with you always. Nothing can hurt us. Not even death. We have to trust and be at peace. So as long as there is life, go on asking for what you want and need from our Lord. And keep on asking and believe in his promises.

I would like to end this testimony with these words from the Bible.

But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5 (ESV)

And with these thoughts …

Remember that one of the wounds on Jesus’ body was for you…

Thank you everyone.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen.

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