Am I Living in Adultery?

Question from a Site Viewer

I’ve committed many sins in regards to my marriages. I left my first husband, then had a child with someone else, then remarried someone else. My first husband recently died. I read an article online that what I’m doing is adultery. Now I’m really concerned!

Tim’s Answer

If I understand your situation correctly, you were married to someone, obtained a divorce, then had a child with someone else, then married your present husband. You only recently learned that marrying another person after the divorce may constitute adultery. Now you’re concerned that you may be living in adultery.

I am concerned for you. That you would only learn about Christ’s teachings on remarriage from reading an Internet post tells me that you are probably not reading the Bible.

If you start in Matthew, within 5 chapters you would have read Christ’s views of the subject. How can you be fed spiritually if you are not reading the Bible? How can you hope to grow close to God if you are not feeding on His word?

You should not be taking my word or the word of any person for truth without checking us out by reading and determining what the Bible says. The Bible is not written for scholars alone, but for ordinary persons to read and find out about God.

You will live a life shaken by every wind of teaching if you do not get into the word of God and start reading, studying, and memorizing for yourself. The word of God is active and powerful, and is given to us to guide us into truth. I urge you to develop the discipline of spending time in God’s word every day. I suggest you begin in the New Testament and read through the entire New Testament, a chapter or two or three every day. When you get through, start again, and this time read a little slower, taking no more than a chapter a day (and maybe only a few verses) and seek God’s help in understanding what God is saying to you. Stay in the word. God told Joshua to meditate on the Word day and night (Joshua 1:8). The righteous ones meditate on the Word day and night (Psalm 1:2). Give the Word of God a chance to transform your life.

As for your question, if your first husband is dead, your second marriage cannot be viewed as adultery. As Scripture says in Romans 7:2-3, once your spouse dies you are not in adultery even if you are married to another person. So there is no present issue, even if there was an issue at the time of the second marriage. That issue has been resolved by the death of your first husband. If you feel convicted that you were not right in marrying your present husband, you can confess that to God and He is faithful and just to forgive any sin. However, your second husband is you present husband and you should treat him as such. Scripture teaches that you should live with him in love and peace (1 Corinthians 7:10-16).

I once again urge you to get into the Word of God. Read it, study it, memorize it. It will cleanse and it will heal you if you let its words penetrate deep into your heart. Let the words dwell in you richly and your life will be changed.

a servant of Christ,