Question from a Site Viewer
Should I keep hoping that the Lord will someday bring my ex-wife back to me, or should I just go on with my life? I don’t want to marry someone else because deep down, I still love my ex-wife. I still pray for her. I have told her that I still love her and she has told me that she loves me. I don’t know what that means. If I try to talk to her, then she just ends up getting mad at me and we eventually argue. That is why I have stopped trying to communicate verbally with her although deep down, I want to.
I want to believe God for miracles. I have begged her to reconcile, but she won’t and so I have stopped asking her and now I just pray, but at what point do I stop asking for a miracle?
Tim’s Answer
Sorry to hear about your situation. The hurt you feel from the divorce mirrors in some way the hurt God feels toward those who have broken covenant with Him. And I wish I could say that if you pray and seek God, that He will bring your wife back to you. We know from observing God that He does not force people to restore their relationships to Him. And He also does not force people to restore their relationships to one another. In both situations, however, God is not unresponsive to our prayers. To the contrary, when we pray He works, and His desire is for reconciliation. So we know, when we pray for reconciliation, that God will work on our behalf.
The interaction of God on people’s wills remains a mysterious thing to us. In ways that have not fully been revealed to us, God calls and pleads and is active in people to bring them back. Yet, ultimately they have their own wills and they must choose to return. We have no guarantee that the person will be responsive to God’s working. I have seem too many situations where the spouse never returned, and observed the grief of others too many times in such situations. Yet, I have also seen other situations when the spouse returned, and reconciliation was effected. In both situations, people prayed and trusted God.
As long as our hearts desire a miracle, I think we should continue to ask. And we know that He hears us when we ask. And we also are confident that He will do what we have asked, when we ask in His will. Reconciliation is His will. Thus, we should have confidence that God will work towards reconciliation. But though we have confidence in God, we have far less confidence in people. Nevertheless, the one hope we have is the working of God in their lives. Jesus encourages us to keep on asking. He gives the example of the persistent neighbor in Luke 11 and the persistent widow in Luke 18, to drive this point home. So I would encourage you to continue to pray for your former spouse and to ask God to move her heart towards reconciliation. I would also pray for wisdom to know how you can be a blessing to her when you have communications with her. Learn how to avoid arguments, to yield when possible, and to diffuse when it is not possible to yield. Live out James 3:13-18.
I also encourage you, as you seek reconciliation, that you not let your present circumstances keep you from serving God and serving others. Look for opportunities to encourage others to walk with God, and to praise and worship God. If you do so, though you may presently have sorrow over the state of your marriage, you will be building a future and a hope with God in the life to come. And as you walk with God, your own life will be transformed into the image of Jesus Christ.
I realize that it is difficult in your situation to join with a body of believers. However, wherever you are, I encourage you to make the effort to find others who are believers. Then seek to build into their lives. In doing so, you will be doing the will of the Father.
May the Lord Jesus be with you and may His Holy Spirit guide you in all ways.
a fellow pilgrim
tim
I am going through a separation. It was my fault. I drank too much. And caused my common law partner to leave with our children. I went to rehabilitation and prayed everyday. What should I do? She had every right to leave. I didn’t come home after work. I drank. And sometimes I made her feel unloved. I do love her and the kids. Its just my drinking was Bad. The lord helped me get sober. And I understand I hurt my x . and I know the lord will help. I just don’t know what to do!!!
Oh ya she is now living with her new boyfriend. I really messed up. Please help me. I just need some advice!
These situations are always filled with a great deal of pain for both parties. I take it that she has suffered through your alcoholism for a long time. Having finally made the decision to move on, she is not likely to be open to returning right away. The fact that she is living with another boyfriend further complicates the situation. She has the right to make the decisions that she feels are best for her, even if we do not like the decision. Being married requires both the husband and the wife to decide that they want to be in the relationship. None of us have the right to force another competent adult to do what they do not want to do.
Accordingly, as I noted in the article, it is not within your power to bring her back to you. Even the Lord will not force her to do what she does not want to do.
Ultimately, however, your question goes to a deeper matter. There is a life with Christ that is far more rich and rewarding than the best marriage, and that has eternal rewards. Jesus urges us to pursue His kingdom and righteousness and leave our cares with Him. I know that it is hard to see how giving up for the time being the tangible and physical blessings of a relationship with a spouse to pursue the promise of abundant life in Christ seems difficult. But such are the choices of faith. Trusting that God is true and having the patience to wait on Him leads to a life that is most richly blessed by Him.
Accordingly, I encourage you during this time to devote your time and resources to draw close to God. Read His word every day. Memorize it. Meditate on it. Pray every day for your separated spouse, for your children, for those around you, etc. Learn to worship God. Find a church or fellowship and get involved in a Bible study with others. Be kind to everyone. Try always to be a blessing to people, to meet their needs. Do everything in your power to fill your time in the pursuit of God and showing His love to others. Stay involved in your children’s lives to the extent possible.
If you do these things, one day you will look back and marvel at the blessings of God in your life and the deep relationship you have with the God of the universe, a privilege none of us can ever really grasp. And maybe your spouse and children will come back to you. But whether or not they do, you will be a changed person living in peace with God and enriched in ways that you cannot presently even fathom.
I read the comment left about mike de maria
On Saturday. I got up set and angry. Because I wanted
To hear that god will just fix everything!!!!
But today is Monday and I went back to the site
Here and re read everything…
And I understand…. Thank you who ever wrote this!!!
Because I understand…. It might not be exactly what
What I wanted to hear. But it was what I needed to hear!!!! Thank you Mike de maria….
Awnser from may 9 th
You are welcome. There is so much hurt in this world that for some this life is a trail of tears. The personal rejection by one’s covenant partner creates some of the deepest pain. But to those who are so burdened, Jesus continues to invite us to come to Him and He will give rest (Matthew 11:28-30). He is our strength and our help in time of trouble. I recently read a book called “The Son Who Chases the Father,” by Joshua Zarzana. It tells of a father who went through a difficult divorce and a son who watched and saw his father become His hero, likening his story to our chasing after God. I pray that your situation will not lead to divorce, but the value of chasing the Father remains true. May the Lord be with you.
a covenant partnership can be broken by the other spouse committing adultery. I have an ex husband who abused me and then he cheated on me and he still does if I talk to him but through legalism he has managed to get believers to pray every week for my return to the relationship even though I and my children are remarried to another man he has caused tremendous warfare and I we have decided that because he refuses to let go we are not allowing him to see the children any longer. There are times when you need to let someone go if they told you to leave them alone then do it and stop trying to over-ride their will you can cause more harm than good because it is Satan you are invoking not God at such a point as this…..
I still want my relationship restored. I can’t even imagine that a relationship with God would be better. Unless I can drop out of everyday life and just do spiritual stuff all the time. I don’t want to live this life on earth if I can’t have an earthly partner.
By human design we drawn into wanting an everlasting relationship with someone. We long to feel connected and love from someone and society tells us that a spouse or partner will give you that. It’s easy for anyone to say they have tried it all but have you? God will see your hearts cries when you cry out to him. He will be the unwavering rock you long for. God is always consistent but the world is not. Draw near to god and you won’t be disappointed. We might not understand gods will or plan for us but we should continue to trust in him. Ask god to help you with fear, doubt and the unknown. He is waiting and he is listening. God is always there in the midst it of all. God never leaves us and he never has. Let your life be transformed by the one that loves us most.
John 16:33
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
pray about it but leave it up to god and believe that its gonna happen! trust me it will if its what HE wants. most of all be thankful for your life everyday you get up on earth even though you are evil good is always on your side and if you ask him for a fish he is not gonna give you a stone be patient
how do you know if its what He wants?
My ex broke up with after 5months will he ever call me its been. Amonth
We are not prophets. Because each person has their own will, no one apart from God can say what someone will do in the future. If one knows the person, then one can make an educated guess, but ultimately none of us can say that someone else will do this or that in the future.
Of course, some will tell you otherwise. And If what they say comes true, you will be tempted to think that they knew. If what they say does not come true, you will know that they did not know. But in these types of situations, it is easy to say ” yes, he will call you” or “no, he will not call you.” The answer will be one of the other. It is like a true/false exam question, one has a 50% chance of getting the right answer. But ultimately, in these situations, apart from God’s direct revelation, anything anyone says would be a guess. Not even Satan knows what someone will do in the future. Only God can say what another sentient creature will do in the future and always be right. In my experience, God generally does not tell us what someone else will, or will not, do.
Nevertheless, this does not leave you without hope. While people will fail us, God never does. If you will devote your energies to draw near to God just as you invested your energies in drawing near to your ex, you will find a relationship that has promise both in this life and in the life to come. God does not leave those who come to Him. In God, you will find a faithful friend and a refuge to help you through the storms of life and through the times when life seems to go smoothly.
I know a breakup can be very difficult. Perhaps there is no greater pain on this earth than these relational pains. Jesus invites those who are heavy laden to come to a Him and find rest (Matthew 11:28-30).
I will say this non of us know what God is going to do. I got married to a young Lady. I thought she loved me for me. I owned a car lot life was good other then to many hours. Married where with in my months she took every thing I owned long story. First I had to forgive her and I have. Then I prayed ever day for god to restore my marriage and so far nothing. Then I step back and look at everything and think how can someone just walk away with no regrets and start seeing other people still being married. Then I decided to stop blaming and keep asking God for a miracle. I have one bigger problem she don’t believe in god so how will god work on her heart if she don’t believe. Not only did I loose her I lost my step son father mother law sis
may the lord give us a life we derseve bcs us as human beings we make mistakes.Its painful to dirvoce esp when there are kids or even a kid
I also start a group for everyone to chat in on face book it’s called broken Marriages broken hearts open group
Tim,
I would like to respond to the individuals question by challenging them to not only pray for a miracle but be the living miracle in front of their ex-wife. I recommend the movie “Fireproof” if not seen yet, to consider the main character’s efforts in winning his wife back. Yes, continue to pray for your ex-wife that God miraculously soften her heart towards you, but also “be” the miraculous demonstration in front of her eyes by Living a life first for God. That is the relationship that you should be most concerned with at all times. Live a life that does not focus on being sober only but live a life that is focused on drinking in the Spirit of God. My heart and prayers are with you Mike.
Thanks. Good words. I have not watched Fireproof, but I know many have recommended the movie. The concept is very Biblical. We are to focus our attention on doing the things that comprise the kingdom values, and God takes it upon Himself to work the other details of life out (Matthew 6:33).
As a recovering alcoholic (nearing 7 months 🙂 ), I tried turning to my wife and replacing alcohol with her. However, by then the damage to our relationship was too great. I do attend meetings with a group whose name can be found close to the front of the phone book. And as the son of a minister, I have been pleading with God to bring my wife and our four children back to me. Your post has reminded me that God should be my replacement for alcohol and that he, alone, can bring me back to sanity.
I was with my girlfriend / fiancé for almost 2 years on and off. I was a hypocrite and I always hide things from her. I always left her alone and and I cheated on her. I realized when it was too late that my ego and ignorance push her away from me. I been trying to fix the relationship and go to church together. She doesn’t want to talk to me and told me she loves me but can’t talk to me. I don’t know what to do to make things right
When we sin, we hurt not only others, but we hurt ourselves. Your former relationship with your girlfriend was not one of love, respect, and loyalty, but rather one of self-focus and lies. Your love for her was really a love for yourself. If she treated you the way you treated her, would you want anything to do with her? I doubt it.
You ask how you can make things right. The way to make things right is to confess your sins to God and commit your life to loving God with all of your heart and loving others as yourself. Unless we are following God, we can never make things right.
There are no guarantees that your former girlfriend will ever want to talk to you again. Right now she has said that she cannot talk with you. You need to honor her wish and not try to force conversations with her. This is love, considering her desires above your own. If she does not want you around her, you need to honor that as well. If she does not want you to attend the same church she attends, you should find another church to attend. I know these things are hard, but confession of sins does not remove the temporal consequences of sin. David confessed his sin with Bathsheba, but the consequences were with him the rest of his life. Someone who steals may confess their sin, but they may still need to do their time in prison. You have sinned gravely against your girlfriend. You now are experiencing the consequences of that sin.
What you can do is seek to follow Christ and to pray for your friend. You can show kindness to others and do good deeds to those in need. You can exercise self-control and self-restraint, as these traits are part of godliness. If you seek to serve Christ in these ways, if you draw near to Him, He will be strong on your behalf and bless you with His presence and His guidance. One never knows, but perhaps then your girlfriend will hear of your transformation, of your godliness and of the good things others are now saying about you, and perhaps she will want to re-engage with you. Whether she does nor not, you will have discovered a life that is rich and rewarding, in being an ambassador of the great King.
I am a Christian who chose to divorce my husband after one year of marriage. During this one year, we were living in different countries. We got married for the wrong reason, which is that he wanted to rush it so I could sponsor him to stay in my country. We had issue of differences since we got engaged, but I was stubborn and couldn’t break up with him even though I was seeing many red light signs. After our marriage and separation (his visa expired) we began having many arguments, mostly due to the fact that I was reluctant to sponsor him. He was not the kind of spouse that I wanted. Thinking that the marriage was a mistake from the beginning since it was all for the wrong reason, I chose to easily divorce him after one year. During this time he constantly tried to reconcile and he was against divorce. I did not listen. I wanted a better life with a better man. Eventually, the divorce went through.
Just months after the divorce , however, I came to understand that I have committed a great sin. Marriage for whatever reason is God’s covenant and should never be broken. I was so fearful of God and felt the pain of my disobedience. I contacted my ex-husband, telling him of my regrets. I wished for us to reconcile our broken marriage. I believed that my repentance will help restore our marriage. He was confused and did not know what to do. To make the matter worse, I have learned that he is preparing to get married by the end of the year. I was disappointed that he would get married so quickly only after being legally divorced for two months. I felt that this new marriage is not healthy for him either. Deep down I desire to reconcile with him still. I kept praying for God to change our hearts and for Him to work in our lives. I want a miracle to happen, but I feel like the the chance is too small. I don’t want to ruin his new relationship, but I also want us to fix ours. What to do?
Thank you for your question. I commend you for acknowledging that you made a mistake when you ignored the signs and married your former husband and that you made a mistake when you went against God’s will and divorced your husband. But having divorced him, he is no longer your husband. You have done a good thing in admitting to him your sin in the divorce and asking for reconciliation, but ultimately reconciliation requires his willingness. While we can influence other people, none of us can control other people. As we pray, God will work on our behalf but God’s work is no guarantee that a person will listen to God (look at all of the unsaved in the world). If your former husband is unwilling to reconcile and if he goes ahead with his new marriage, then you should let him go.
I realize that there are emotions involved. I do not lightly dismiss them. Ultimately, however, we must live by our will and not by our emotions. What we may want at the moment may change in the next moment. What we will to do should be more consistent. As Christians, our will is to do God’s will on this earth. This includes His will with respect to our interactions with others. I suspect that while you may at the present desire your former husband’s return, if he was around you would again be struggling with the same or similar issues you had when he was arround before. I hope you can accept the outcome whether it be that your former husband decides to return to you or whether he decides not to return. In either situation, you will need God’s help to deal with your feelings and your will.
I pray that you may continue to seek to do God’s will in this situations and in all situations of your life. Draw near to Him. Strengthen the relationship between you and God. Focus your life and doing His will. Just this morning I reread Philippians 2:21 where Paul is lamenting that all seek their own interests and not the interests of Jesus Christ. My prayer is that we will be those people who seek out the interests of Christ.
May the Lord Jesus be with you and guide you in His will to do what is pleasing to Him.
A fellow pilgrim,
Tim
Thanks so much brother Tim for sharing the truth with me. I understand what you mean. Sometimes we follow our emotions too much. The heart is often deceiving. While he was trying to reconcile I had no intention of wanting to go back to him. My heart was hardened. But now that he is moving on, I seem to not be able to let him go. All I can do now is pray for healing for both of us and hope that at least we can come to forgive one another. I believe that although God does not agree with divorce, He allowed it to happen so that we would learn the harsh lesson of our disobedience and sins. At the same time, I believe that His grace is sufficient for us if we repent. Although I believe that I have been forgiven by Christ, I know that I still must bear the consequences of my disobedience. I just pray that I will have the strength to accept the consequences and continue to faithfully follow Christ. He is our only hope.
Yes, I think the enemy plays on our emotions. Somehow, in the way that only God can do, He can turn our personal failures and tragedies into a background leading to success and triumphs in the heavenly kingdom as we seek to walk with Him.
Romans 7:2-3
Don’t give up hope and don’t remarry read the above verse.
Marriage is for life!No remarriage unless he is deceased!Remain single or else be reconciled to spouse.
1Corinthians 7:39-40!Praise Jesus for truth and hope!
What can I do to find forgiveness and maybe work on my relationships, especially the one with my ex-husband. It all started with severe post partum depression, then I cheated on him and I really don’t know why. He was an amazing husband and father to our son, the only thing I can find with our relationship was that he traveled a lot for his job. Anyway, we separated for 4 months and reconciled. Then a year down the road, he came home drunk and we fought. He barely touched me physically but of course I put a restraining order on him and he filed for divorce 2 days later. All he really did was shake me and yell at me and ask why I had changed. Anyway, our divorce was final in March of 2014 but I pray I could get him back because of the amazing person he is, but I’m pretty sure it’s too late. I really hate the person I’ve become and I’ve been to several psychiatrists who diagnosed me with bi -polar and severe depression. I just want to bounce back and become the person I once was.
I used to be loved by many and had many friends. However, after the way I’ve been treating people the last few years, my family and most of my friends have given up on me. Just recently it seems I woke up and I’m trying to mend fences but not sure if it’s too late. Any suggestions on getting my life back?
It’s been two years since my wife divorced me and took the kids. She has given up the faith and has basically hardened her heart. I see the kids every other weekend and she’s already on guy #2. She’s done everything possible to hurt me and I see her putting herself first even over God and the kids. I still pray with the kids every night and the kids still wants the family back together as I do. I take the kids to church on those weekends I have them. I pray for God to “wake” her up, but I know she has free will and it’s up to her. I would do anything to have my family back. I’m suffering with money too. I continue to pray for a miracle, but am unfortunately losing hope(which I know is wrong). I’m just feeling selfish in that she’s got the kids, the house, the money etc. Please send prayers!
Thanks.
My prayers to you Austin. I kind of going thru the same. Hope for a miracle but keep in mind life goes on. She will realize what a mistake she made w/u and the kids and then hopefully you will follow your heart to make the right decision. God bless you.
You have the godliness, faith, and integrity. Gee whiz, I wonder who got the better end of the deal? 🙂
My ex wife left me on oct 1st, divorced on January 22nd the papers were finalized last week. I pray for her everyday and I have prayed for myself and my family every day since. I have lost my way a while back, and I am just asking for prayer. I know if it meant to be, the good lord will allow us to reconcile, and I would just like the prayers for us.
Pray faith is what keep us alive
It’s been lovely to read all these stories and know that I am not alone.
God gave me the most amazing man. He asked me to marry him. He is lovely. He is the one.
We were moving to a different town and in the process we had to spend a month apart. During this month I missed him terribly. I cried constantly. I am horrible with emotional regulation. I cheated on him in that month. It was a horrible thing to do. And not just physically, also emotionally. I needed my Fiancé. I was never alone. And didn’t know how to be. I didn’t cheat because there was something lacking in our relationship, but because something within me was not right.
My fiancé found out and it hurt him terribly. And not just the cheating and lying about it, the way I reacted to him ending the relationship hurt him and closed him off to me completely. I was selfish and childish because I did not want to let him go. He cant even look at me. We are living together for one more week and I can see that it is so extremely hard for him to be around me. And it so hard for me to accept this because I know he can see how sorry I am and I know he can see my suffering and I cant understand why he cant forgive me. I thought he loves me enough to forgive me when he can see my true remorse.
I’ve been seeking comfort at church. And have come to know so much more about myself. So many ways I was living wrong and didn’t even realize at the time. I see my pastor every Wednesday and he helps me. I learnt the difference between godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. I started to read my Bible and Im finding so much wisdom in it. It tells me how to love, how to treat the one you love. How to build your relationship. And I never knew this before. I know what happened had to happen to turn me back to God. But I wish I could share this new wisdom with the love of my life.
But I am hopeful. I find hope in His scriptures. And I will keep on praying for him to heal, an for God to turn him to me. I am alone for the first time, i am doing it for him. For the first time I am not looking for comfort in other guys. But in God. I know I still need to learn to feel God’s presence in my difficult time. Because I am actually not alone. So I am working in it. And I hope God will send him back to me so that I can love him through my love for God. And when that day comes, i will tell everyone about God’s miracle in my life. Till then i will talk about His other miracles
I cant let go. I pray, wait, cry, beg, pray. Its a minute to minute cycle. Its been 4 long mos. He’s completely detached and I dont exist. I have come across as desperate and needy. I have no respect left. I pray meditate, read scriptures, self help books still the emptiness, loneliness, guilt and shame of my actions that destroyed my relationship are still there and not leaving. Not being able to have a second chance eats me up everyday. No matter how much or what I try…
Going through the same thing. If only there was a time machine. Made a lot of changes and still no results. As ugly and as bad as things get I guess the best advice I can give you is don’t give up. And keep talking with God. I have good days and bad days. I think once you have looked back enough times to realize your mistakes, at some point you have to say to yourself, OK I acknowledge my mistakes and I’ve learned from them but I can’t look back anymore. I’m looking forward from here on out. Do whatever you can moving forward to save it with actions more than words. I feel your pain believe me. I would cut off my own leg to even have another chance. We need to be patient and let God work.
I am going through a situation where my husband and I both moved on and decided to be in separate relationships, I still have feelings for him and he just broke up with his girlfriend and wants me back but, I am still seeing my boyfriend. He is a good man but, my husband is still my husband and i love to see my children together just like we used to be a family. I don’t want to be dis-appointment again. what should i do?
Do what’s right! End your adulterous affair and help save your family. Your soul depends upon it!
Certainly you should pray for any matters which trouble you. Know that sometimes what hurts (a departed partner) is far less than the pain and anguish of being together- especially if they are abusing substances or not living an honest life.
While God hears your prayers, those that walk in darkness will not respond favorably to God. If they abuse substances they are under evil influence. Under evil influence they will act in defiance and anger to things of God. If they choose to reject God they will take you down hard.
Pray against evil, and it’s hold on people. Do not seek to force evil into your life. God will bring to you what you need. Keep your eyes and heart open.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years on and off. At first we had a lot of troubles, but we eventually always got back together. It’s looks like this time is different. I don’t think we’re getting back together and it really hurts. I don’t know what to do, seems like God has given up on my situation since we can never fix anything. Giving up is not an option for me, but I don’t know how to win him back when he’s tired of fighting.
Good day everybody am here to share my life testimony to you all and to those time of life you think everything has end no, there is always a way out, my life is an example of that, my name is Cacilia am from USA but i work here in UK and i have been in a relationship for 4years now i sacrifice my life my money to make sure it work out and to have a happy family with my boyfriend a time comes when my boyfriend lost his job i stand to make sure he never lack anything and i fight for him to get a new job and have our wedding planed few weeks ago my boyfriend got a good job and i was so happy for him and we where happy together again last week i was at the eatery when i say my boyfriend with a girl eating and having fun i thought it was a frie
I am so hurt and lost. My boyftiend of 1.5 years left me and seems to have moved on. I know it was my fault as I was insecure and pushed him away. I pray everyday that God puts him back in my life. I have tried everyrhing to move on and work on myself and be happy. It has gotten to a point where I wish I never met him. I dont understand why God would put him in my path and show me such happiness only to take it away. I was happy before I met him being a mother to my kids and successful in my carreer. This has shaken me and my faith. Still I pray but it is not helping. I want him back. I don’t know how to fix it or fix me. I know there are others worse off. My kids are happy and healthy and I am grateful for that but feel empty.
I am the one that messed up my marriage. I asked for a separation and we were separated for 9 years. Finally my husband asked for a divorce and moved on with another woman and got married. We have 3 beautiful children together and I want my family back together. I love him so much and I am devastated. He says he didnt know that I was still in love with him or he would have never gotten remarried. Im dying inside. I have been praying and praying for us. What do i do
My situation is very complicated. My wife suffers Bipolar Disorder, and started on a slow spiral into mania when her mother passed da y after Christmas 2013 — two years ago today. In August, this year, the mania took hold hard. She began hallucinating, got extremely paranoid, started cheating on me, lying to me, stealing money from our son’s bank account. Finally, in November, she threw me out and the kids out.
I have believed from the dy she threw me out that this is not permanent, that when she comes down from her mania we will reconcile, but now she’s stopped taking all her medication, and each day that goes by I start to lose hope, though the kids never do. I pray every day that we reunite, but I’m starting to doubt. What do I…
My wife and i split up 1 year ago today. She wants a divorce but neither of us have filed. I pray for her return. She has been living off and on with another man since,but she tells me it’s so she can get on her own feet. We have two children we share custody with. She has no desire to return and i haven’t pushed the issue,we have a good relationship. I pray everyday that God will soften her heart and return. Pleas pray for us and for our children who are stuck in the middle who just want their family back together. This has been hard for all of us.
Jan26 We thought this the divorce was the solution… The next day Jan. 27 God told me to pursue my wife, my heart has changed since I have been pursuing God.. but my wife doesn’t want that. She ask me not to give her gifts don’t write her letters and stop talking to her. This hurts…plus I don’t feel like I deserve to purse her.. but the more I dig into God the more he guides me to love her and purse her with 1gift 1letter a week.. So far she has read every letter and accepected every gift… she also told me twice I will never remarry you I don’t want to Marry you ever again…. I don’t understand why she is being so mean to me… All I said is that God told me to pursue you and that I believe that God can restore anything.
If you have stopped drinking and you are praying .. Time will heal both your hearts ! Ask for forgiveness.. But wen given the 2nd chance do not take things for granted. Love and respect your children and then your wife . Love your self. And pray. Change the way you think and act even tho (if )you have stopped drinking. Your children are your number one priority.. Look after them embrace your family and rebuild your love and trust for her to have for you. This was your weakness and you have noticed this. So you have come along way already ..
May God always be with you and let him live through your heart
I encourage anyone that has marriage issues to check out this website. I am praying for my wife to return as well.
http://www.rejoiceministries.org
http://www.faithandmarriageministries.org
Be blessed as we all believe for a miracle!
Juan from TX.
I am Hindu by religion and live in India but stumbled on this site today. Me and my wife had little misunderstandings while our little stint in USA and we came back to India. The day we landed she left me and my son. It has been 4 years now and I have been trying to reconcile, calling her, writing letters, going to her home, but nothing is working out. But still I have faith in God (I think faith is common in all religions). I pray every day for her to come back. I took my son many times to her home and she doesn’t even talk to him. I was insulted many times at their home by my father-in-law but I love my wife so much that I don’t mind these insults. Will she ever come back? Don’t know. But I know God is listening to me and He is with…
I have been married to my wife for 19 years and we have an amazing 4 year old son. We do not drink, smoke or do any drugs. Never raised a hand against each other or used fowl language to one another… we just drifted apart from work and her schooling. I guess also i did not read into us drifting and i just thought it was normal since we were so busy. 2 months ago my wife just told me she loved me but wasn’t in love with me. So that hit me hard like a rock. She wants to get separated now and put up our home for sale with a realtor. I love my wife and my son with all my heart. Just trying to stay positive but she tells me she needs to move on with her life. Just feels wrong that she is doing this without giving us chance to seek counseling.
My wife is staying at her mothers,mleft me about 6 weeks ago. Told me she hasn’t been happy for 2 years.
I know that I am parcially to blame for our issues, I can be a real jerk and sad things I shouldn’t have and didn’t mean and I am deeply sorry for that and any hurt I have caused her.
I love my wife more than anything and I just want her back. I’ve been praying but I think I need more than just my prayers.
My name is Robert Slim i was in the US army and went to Liberia leaving my wife and two kids for 8 months when i returned my wife told me she was no longer interested in the marriage that if she could survive for 8 months without me the marriage is meaningless. Leaving home for 8 months was not easy but not having a family when i came back was more difficult. I pleaded continuously with her for 3 months. I even left the army just to convince her but all my attempt to get her back failed. My heart was totally broken when i saw my wife and my superior commander together in a Spanish bar. I still love her and need her to take care of my kids. I sent friends and family members to her but she refuse to come back home. This faithful day i was abo
Let go and trust God. That’s the phrase that kept me going. Just last week, after ten months apart with no contact, she got in touch with me. But it took me praying every day and night for God to take this burden and not let me try to take control of it again. Let go and trust God.
I would say this, make the common law thing official. Stop drinking. Marry her. Ask her to be your wife and have a true foundation in Christ. Common Law is not a covinent with God. God will not operate in Sin. Stop drinking, give you life to Christ or repent, ask her to be your wife and be the husband yo know she needs.
Thank you so much for helping me understand that I am not doing the wrong thing by praying my ex and I will reconcile. I’ve been praying for months and over those months God’s word through my faith has really helped humble me and give me patience. My Patience is part of what came between us. I have been so calm, but still once in a while fall to doubts and worries, but then God lifts me back up and I feel confident.
I pray everyday for God to heal her heart, remove any barrier she has raised between us, and to want to feel the Love she and I had before.
I came here wondering if I should just give up and move on against my own heart, but you have shown me I’m not doing the wrong thing
I don’t know if God will restore this relationship between me and my ex of two years
I pray so hard everyday since the day we broke up. Can I pray for God to show me signs about where im headed too? I’ve been very stubborn hoping and praying he will come back after almost three months of no contact. But if God could show me signs telling me he’s not the one I need to let go then I will let it go…I just really need Him to speak to me…and give me clarity .. is it possible?
True love is seen through desiring that God heal and reconcile your spouse to him. It’s not just about restoring the marriage, it’s also about their salvation, your spouse’s salvation should matter, when a spouse leaves, they have most likely hardened their heart towards God and towards you. This means you haven’t been a man or woman of understanding to them, and this is what you need to begin to work on by seeking the lord relentlessly, don’t chase after your spouse, chase after God, plead for your wife/Husband’s heart to God, that he may reconcile and restore them to him.
Plead that God make you the godly spouse you need to be in order to re-established the trust you’ve Lost. God hates divorce, Seek him and he’ll walk with you in this journey of standing, it can be hard and it takes time but the worth is worth it as well as much needed for our faith as well as renewal. Entering this journey and coming out with God, you won’t be the same. Hold fast my brothers and sisters may God help you through the journeys you’re about to undertake. He is faithful.
Sometimes we have to enter discomfort and displacement in order for us to see things we are missing. Relationships are life changing experiences. You may know christ or know of him but do you really know him? The biggest reward of going through any crisis is knowing Christ hasn’t abandoned you. We all make mistakes and we all have experienced struggles but see we weren’t designed to be independent from god. We were designed to be 100 percent god dependent and 100 percent god reliant. We can’t do anything in life without Christ in our lives. Truly seek christ in all you do. The reward is knowing you have a relationship with him and he has a relationship with you. We should align ourselves with Christ everyday and not just some. Relationships can be tricky by nature but they can become solid through Christ. Love forgives all things and forgiveness is love. Soften your hearts and reflection is key. Seeing isn’t believing, believing is trusting in him and he will guide you.