I grew up with atypical absence seizures, the kind you get the aura . . . then stare out . . . but they never went away. I grew up taking Phenobarbital. I also grew up in a family that didn’t know Jesus. I got married when I was 19 – and after we got married he pressed this Jesus thing on me and I rejected it. Our marriage was always off and on . . .
Then, in my early twenties, an odd type of seizure kept trying to show up during stressful times . . . and I wrote it off. Mind you, it was twice as stressful, for I still wasn’t into Jesus. Then, I was blessed with my being pregnant with my daughter, Tory – in kind of a rocky relationship. Soon after, during the pregnancy, my seizures got worse. And they never got better. And my neurologist in Alabama kept increasing my dose of Phenobarbital. When I had my daughter, the seizures still never got better. And neither did the relationship. I went back to Arizona to find a neurologist who could do something else. In time, my husband, felt he had to as well.
I had my first brain surgery in 2002 at the Mayo Hospital . . . I wasn’t into Jesus yet . . . it was painful . . . but I was seizure free. I had, oddly, bought a cross right before the surgery – not sure why. Then, two months after my surgery, we had to move to Texas where my now ex-husband was stationed with the Army. Four days after getting there, the first night in our apartment, he beat me. The Army pulled him out, and in time my daughter and I went back to Arizona, where I was in dire need. I was in tears . . . and turned to overdosing on Phenobarbital, my medicine, to numb the pain. I knew I needed something else.
I somehow found this purple sign that said “Cornerstone.” It became my church on Feb 9, 2003. Since then I have been there. I sought Him that year, finding wellness. I almost didn’t make it once . . . and that was when I turned for good, knowing I’d never turn back.
I have been on fire ever since. And He has opened doors for my health since, such as a second brain surgery in 2005 that was fabulous. I have had every test you can imagine and been on every drug you could have questions about, along with knowing that if you don’t have faith in Him . . . seizures tend to climb back up. Seizures were controlled for a while but then I had more than several medication changes . . . faith tests. When you get very ill it is hard. But you must look up to Him knowing He will hold your hand through it all. They found I had a kidney that doesn’t work right – only 12% functional, air in my salivary gland that stings, TMJ, RLS – and for a couple years had some signs off and on of MS. Then they set in harder this year – and they’re really hard right now – and I am praying it lets up.
I went in for testing. We will see. God has reasons for everything and will see me through. If He helped me find Him . . . He will help me live for Him! He is amazing. I pray my family comes to Him. Nobody has. We weren’t raised to know Him. So I feel blessed with all I went through and praise Him for the trials. I will never regret them. I am thrilled to serve Him!
In His Love,
Hetty Siebens
Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians4:6-7