At the age of 23, I was overcome with depression, not understanding what it was I needed or was missing.
I was raised in a Christian household, and thus believed I knew God. I lived to please myself and lived my life the way I thought would make me the happiest. I had my own townhouse, as to not live at home. I limited my interaction with others, as to not be inconvenienced. I lived with my boyfriend, a statement of independence (my confession to my fear of marriage) and unknowingly to me, my declaration of unworthiness to love. Despite my best attempts at making myself happy, I found myself miserable to the point of depression.
I was no longer enjoying my independence, relationship and isolation. And again I thought I knew exactly what it was I needed- a new job and a new relationship. And so I went out in the quest to find both. My search left me depleted and even more miserable than I was before.
Finally I cried out to God, for the first time in years, in true sincerity. And He heard me and answered.
Within a few days He showed me that He did in fact want me to stay with my boyfriend. I was rather disappointed in that because I thought my happiness lay elsewhere. He then told me to quit my job, which I was happy to do believing that He wanted me to take on another job I was offered, my dream job. Alas, it was not to be.
Slowly God began working in the both of us, showing us how He wanted us to live. He also revealed the future plans He had for us. We were both amazed that God could have such a wonderful future planned for us.
Within five months, He moved us back to our hometown and sent us to volunteer full time at a children’s home I had volunteered in while I was in high school. It was also in our hometown where He led us to godly pre-marital counseling, teaching us the way He intends marriage to be. It has been close to two years since the beginning of our journey and I have found more contentment in my life than I ever have.
Two years without a salary and understanding family has been difficult, but God has continually been supplying all our needs. Learning to follow God even when others do not understand what we are doing has been challenging, but it has also shown us the faithfulness of God in our loneliness at times. He has provided us with a family of believers who encourage us in our walk.
Today we look forward to getting married, finally settling in our own home, and starting work in our own ministry, all thanks to the vision God gave us almost 2 years ago.
How great is our God!
Wow AMAZING! He knows just what to give us and lead us! I got 3 times confirmation that I am going to work for God, even though my husband does not approve! I am confused because I need to respect my husband… So please pray for me to!
What I can say is Most of the time we are scared to go through the path of God , because we do not understand Him better , But If we build our relationship with HIM ( Abiding in HIM ), we can have good fellowship with HIM , When we serve God we do not have to depend on ourselves , But in HIM , remember Peter Disown Jesus ( He meant it when he said , He will never disown JESUS, But He was relying on his own ability , ( Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” ). So what I can encourage with Marelize van Stade, Is GOD will never Fail You , He knows your heart , Seek His Faith , He will change your entire Family , Through you people will be saved ,
Great testimony. Personally, I have never been filled with regret from obeying the Lord’s direction. I have, however, brought devastation to my life from following my own fleshly plans. I pray that you both will draw closer to the Lord and to each other!
Daniel 6:10 Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before. the Decree issued was that the prayer must Stop , But Daniel Continued , when you read that Book going foward you will learn that at the end King nebuchadnezzar ended up giving a decree Daniel 3:29 so everyone should Pray God Almighty, So I am here to encourage you that, He is very close to see the power of God , and He will see light through you , Give him all respect and Love , Remember Love is patient
Thank you Rendani so much for sharing this. There are many in the world that suffer from depression and it is very debilitating. Please use this (and maybe others) by putting a ‘depression’ tag with the other tags., to help those who may not be willing to go through every testimony, looking for hope for their brokenness.
I trust the Lord Jesus Christ will continue to lead , guide and use your family to be a beautiful beacon in a dark world. All praise and glory to Him Who Reigns on High!