Does God Want Me Back?

Question from a Site Viewer
I’m wondering — does God want me back? For six months I was a Christian. Afterwards, I fell away. I was angry at God for something that happened after I became a Christian. I was continuously deliberately sinning for three years. I don’t really have any faith anymore, and feel blinded. Like, something prevents me from believing.

I have read Hebrews 6 and Hebrews 10:26-31 and feel reprobate or like Esau. I want to come back to God, but feel like I have blown it and that He rejects me. I feel I’ve committed the unpardonable sin. I no longer feel His presence and I am dead spiritually. I don’t know if I can regain salvation, and I don’t think I can be forgiven because of Hebrews. I didn’t even know about the Book of Hebrews or apostasy when I was sinning.

Are there any signs that God might want me back? How can I tell?

Tim’s Answer
Thank you for your question. When we have sinned and gone away from God, whether for a day or three years, coming back always seems difficult. The warmness and closeness of our faith that we experienced when we first came to Christ seems not to be there. But please understand the heart of God. He did not send Christ to die for us to leave us in our sins. The prophets of the Old Testament consistently called on Israel to return to God, even though they had been away for a long time. The prophet Hosea says:

Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the LORD till He comes and rains righteousness on you. You have plowed wickedness; you have reaped iniquity; you have eaten the fruit of lies, because you trusted in your own way.
Hosea 10:12-13

In Hosea 14:1-2, the prophet says:

O Israel, return to the LORD your God, for you have stumbled because of your iniquity; take words with you and return to the LORD. Say to Him, ‘Take away all iniquity; receive us graciously, for we will offer the sacrifices of our lips.

When we go away from God, the thing God desires most is that we return. In Luke 15:1-7, Jesus spoke a parable. He says that a man had 100 sheep and one was lost who then is found; there is more rejoicing in heaven over the one than over the 99 who never became lost. If we apply the parable as Jesus intended it to be applied, we are His sheep. If one of us goes astray and becomes lost, there is great rejoicing when that one returns to Christ. James tells us in James 5:19-20 that if one of us wanders from the truth and someone turns him back, that person saves a soul from death and covers a multitude of sins. And, of course, there is the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 who was a son before he left, and over whom the father rejoiced greatly when the son returned. The Father is like the prodigal son’s father. When we go away from God, the one thing that will most please the heart of God is for us to return to God. This is the point Jesus wanted us to get from each of the three stories in Luke 15.

When the prodigal son returned, he did not feel like a son, but He was. So often with us, when we return we do not feel like a son. But if we sow righteousness and seek to honor God, the warmth of the relationship with God that we abandoned will return. And as we follow Christ, we will experience even greater acceptance in the Beloved One.

John writes in 1 John 2:1 that if we sin we have an advocate with the Father. The mercy seat remains available to all who come to Him (Hebrews 4:14-16). This passage is followed immediately by the writer telling us that the very purpose of a high priest is that he can have compassion on those who go astray (Hebrews 5:2). Jesus is our great high priest who has compassion on us when we go astray (Hebrews 2:17-18). So, my encouragement to you is to return to the love of God and focus your life solely on His grace and mercy. None of us are worthy. But He is our Worthy One and He welcomes us all back to Him.

You raise the question of Hebrews 6 and Hebrews 10:26-31. You allude also to Hebrews 12:16. There are many different interpretations of these passages. I will give you mine. In Hebrews 5:12-14, there are two types of people who are discussed. There are those who are unskilled and there are those who can discern both good and evil. He wants us to be mature. So he says in Hebrews 6:1 that we should go on to perfection, not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God. There is a reason for those who are followers of God to move on to perfection or maturity and not to return to the foundation of repentance. The “for” in 6:4 lets us know that the author views what follows as explaining why we should not lay again the foundation of repentance. The reason is that such is impossible. The repentance of verse 6 is the same repentance that the writer has in mind in verse 1. The writer is not introducing some new concept.

Why is repentance impossible? I think the reason is that when we first repent and come to Christ, we are born again and we are made part of His family. If we fall away, we are not in the same situation as when we first come to Christ. Now, we are like the prodigal son. We cannot be made new again. It is impossible. The word “renew” is the word meaning “to make new again.” The prodigal son could return, but he would not be renewed to the place he was before. He was blessed to be part of the family, but he had wasted his inheritance, although that was not nearly as important as being welcomed back. So it is with us. If we, having come to Christ, turn away from Him, we cannot be renewed again to that repentance we had when we first came to Christ. Once we come to Christ, things are changed. If we go off into sin, we are not the same as if we had never come to Christ. Something is different. Those who have never come to Christ are not crucifying Christ again. This statement is true only of believers who turn away. They bear the name of Christ and are crucifying Him again when they sin. They are putting Him to open shame. And, in the words of 1 Corinthians 3, they are building with perishable matter. Such will be burned up, though they themselves will be saved, yet so as through fire (1 Corinthians 3:15).

The author of Hebrews goes on to explain this further, providing an analogy in verses 7-8. There are two types of soil. One bears herbs and receives blessings from God. This, I believe, is the Christian who is walking with God. The second bears thorns and briers. This soil is rejected and is “near to being cursed, whose end is to be burned.” Now we know from 1 Corinthians 3 that we all will pass through the fire. He is saying that if we do not walk with God, we will produce thorns and briers and we are “near” to being cursed. It is telling to me that He does not say that we are cursed.

Then, he says to the readers: “But, beloved we are confident of better things concerning you, yes things that accompany salvation.” So, it seems to me that entire passage is about those who are saved and what type of fruit accompanies their salvation. We are to go on to perfection and produce good fruit. If we do not, we cannot come back to repentance from dead works. We cannot be born a third time. But we can, like the prodigal son, return to the Father.

Some people who interpret this as saying that there is no chance for repentance for those who fall away simply cannot be serious about this interpretation. We all fall away. We all are like sheep who have gone astray. There is not one Christian who has lived without sin. And any sin is a falling away. Those who argue this position have to argue that falling away is something more than mere sin. But there is nothing in the passage itself that supports this interpretation. Every sin is a falling away. Every confession is a return to God.

The point of the passage is that we should not revisit repentance from dead works and faith towards God. Rather, we should go on to maturity. That is God’s call upon us.

Hebrews 10:26-31 revisits this very idea. There is not a second sacrifice for sins. If we sin willfully, there is a certain fearful expectation of judgment which will devour “the adversaries.” Again, the point is that we tread on thin ice when we sin against God. But verse 30 lets us know that God is talking about “His people.” He is not talking about those who are not His people. He is warning us of the seriousness of our sin. He then picks this up again in Hebrews 12 where God tells us that He chastens us for our profit. We are again warned to look carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God and be like Esau who having sold his birthright could not afterward gain it back again, though he sought it diligently with tears. He lost it through his own sin. In the same way, we need to be careful lest we lose the blessing of God in our lives. Again, I do not see this as a loss of salvation, but rather a loss of blessing, even as Esau never stopped being Isaac’s son, but he could not inherit what he once had.

My view is that if, having come to Christ, we serve ourselves and not God, we waste those moments of life and they can never be reclaimed. But if after wasting such time, we return and pursue after Him, we can make the rest of our lives count for Him.

This is consistent with all of Scripture. Abraham went away from God and journeyed to Egypt. But God did not abandon him and God sought him in Egypt and brought him back to the promised land. Jacob went away from God and told lies, cheated, and treated his father and brother badly. But God did not abandon him. When Jacob returned, God was there for him. The ten sons of Jacob went away from God and treated Joseph very badly. But when they were old they returned to God and were blessed by Him and became the patriarchs of Israel. Aaron went away from God and made a golden calf for an idol. But when he returned, God accepted him and speaks very highly of him in Scripture. David abandoned God, committed adultery with Bathsheba, killed Bathsheba’s husband, and stayed away from God for about nine months. But when confronted by Nathan the prophet, David returned to God and God restored David to a proper standing with Him, even though David suffered the rest of his life because of this great sin.

Perhaps the greatest example is Manasseh. Manasseh had a godly father in king Hezekiah. But Manasseh turned against God and did great atrocities. He was very evil (2 Chronicles 33:1-9). But when Manasseh turned back to God, God restored him (2 Chronicles 33:10-20). Yet, God did not forget the evil Manasseh had done, and because of it He sent Judah into captivity (2 Kings 23:26-27).

We cannot come again to that place of repentance from dead works, but we can return to God. What we have lost will be lost and cannot be regained. The treasures we could have been storing up in heaven are lost. But from this point forward we can walk with Him even as David did and experience His presence, His blessing, and His acceptance.

Seek Him. You will find that He is merciful, quick to forgive, and delighted to have you back in fellowship with Him.

I encourage you to spend time every day reading and thinking about a passage from Scripture, spending time in prayer talking to God and pleading for others, finding other Christians who will encourage you in Christ, and finding people who have a need and serve them.

May the Lord Jesus confirm Himself to you.

a fellow servant,

tim

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23 thoughts on “Does God Want Me Back?

  1. mike

    In the 2nd or 3rd last paragraph you mentioned that “We cannot come again to that place of repentance from dead works, but we can return to God. What we have lost will be lost and cannot be regained. The treasures we could have been storing up in heaven are lost. But from this point forward we can walk with Him even as David did and experience His presence, His blessing, and His acceptance.”

    I was just wondering if you also meant that once you are saved and turn from God you have given up all treasure in heaven? Unable to ever earn or store up treasure in heaven again? U make it sound like once u sin after being saved you lose all ur treasure or make it so u can’t store treasure in heaven and at best u will only get a conversation with God during a walk and if we are lucky his blessing or acceptance.

    So not sure what u really mean in that last paragraph. Cause the way I look at it everyone after being saved has sinned or turned away from God and returned so then therefore there should not be 1 person in heaven with stored up treasure?

    Thanks and hope u can clarify

    Reply
    1. truthsavesadmin Post author

      I did not intent to convey the idea that if one turns away from God that one can thereafter never receive an award from God. Rather, what I see Hebrews 6 teaching is that the rewards we could have had for that period of time we were away from God are lost forever. We cannot get them back. Whatever we do in sin will be burned up (1 Corinthians 3:12-15), so that there are no rewards from those time periods we were in sin. But I do not see the passage teaching about what may have happened to rewards earned before one turned away, nor for rewards that may be earned after one returns to Christ. I think Christ calls all of us to lay up for ourselves in treasures in heaven. I think He calls us to do this because He makes it possible for us to do this very thing, no matter what we have done in the past We all can make decisions today and tomorrow (if The Lord waits) to serve God and to build treasure into the eternal kingdom.

      Reply
    2. Alvessie Roberts

      Well GOD tells us he is not going to Force his self on us it’s a Choice if we choose him saying come into my life is not good enough the Emptiness you feel is you have to put GOD inside you with Revelations 22 he died on the cross for the Healing of the Nation or Nation’s being born into sin is being born with no knowledge Spiritual Knowledge the Only way to get knowledge is with the MARIJUANA Herbs his Spirit went on the Herbs when he died for us to be free from this sadness of Life sin separates us from him so if where born into sin he is not inside you so everyone who really wants Rest in your Spirit got get your MARIJUANA Herbs because the pain your feeling is because you’re grieving the Holy spirit & his name is the TRUTH not Jesus

      Reply
      1. Uriel

        Blaspheme! That is a device of the devil!
        Do not speak lies!
        God says be sober and vigilant for the devil comes in like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.
        The powerful and sovereign almighty God who created the heavens and the earth opened my eyes to this truth!
        This is witchcraft and an abomination to God! You allow spirits to come into you without you knowing!
        The powerful wrath of God was upon me when I sinned, and continued living in that abomination.
        Repent! and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal this truth to you if you do not believe me.
        He forgives you if you come to him with all your heart and turn away.

        Reply
  2. James

    To the original question: I myself was (as hard as it is to believe) saved during a time I was either oppressed or possessed by demons. Long story but I know something was in me bc of the thoughts I had of an rug to spontaneous murder, and through a year of going to a preacher I knew, one night he prayed (as usual in Jesus name) but this time it was different. My preachers carpet even ha bloodstains from where I drag my face and lips on the floor. When he mentioned Jesus name I literally felt it leave. I was SAVED. For a good year or so I was a staunch Christian. Eventually I fell away.
    Started drinking, sexual encounters, never repenting or wanting to. Later I got involved in a form of voodoo. I invited the spirit of … Continued->

    Reply
  3. James

    Continued— after about 3yrs in that I came back to the lord. And to this day have problems with porn, but it isn’t no where as bad as before. See, each time we sin as we grow in Christ the holy spirit cannot work in us. I have bad nerves and take Xanax for 15yrs (had nervous breakdown during the time I was saved). Satan uses my nerves to make me feel at times that I have slid too far. But this feeling we go through is sort
    Of a punishment so that we grow in Christ. Just like a father spanks a child. Keep in the word of God an in his time he will comfort u again. I never understood God like I do now. I have a 5yr old son. My son in the future may disown me, hate me or curse me. But if he comes to me. I am there for him. Jesus loves you

    Reply
    1. Ash

      1 thing that i noticed and wittnessed many time, is that when you have a weakness any weakness that causes u to sin, is a wall that we keep on walking into and that it is holding us back to get closer to God, but as soon as u overcome it, once you broken down the wall/weakness you get closer to God, the more you experience his presence. But you can ask God to help u overcome it. Christianity is like when climbing a mountain and theres temptations on the way to the top, and you let it come over you, you fall down then you start again climbing it, but once you overcome it, its 1 step closer to the top.

      Reply
  4. Jared

    I was always under the teaching of OSAS and didn’t believe that salvation could be lost. I no longer believe in OSAS (i don’t mean to debate that issue as great arguments can be made for both positions). However, after professing Jesus Christ in my mid teens and asking him for salvation and the forgiveness of my sins., I went through a terrible period in my life. As a result of that, I committed many, many grievious wilful sins for about 10 years. I knew the sins were wrong, but as ridiculous as that sounds, I still believed that OSAS kept me saved. I have since repented of those sins and have forsaken them, realizing that true grace and forgiveness is different that I originally thought. Am I now forever lost (Hebrew 10:26-31 & Num. 15:)?

    Reply
    1. Gabriel

      You are not lost. The fact that you repented and asked for forgiveness is evidence that God is working in you. There is nothing that can separate you from the love of Christ.
      God bless you and keep you

      Reply
  5. Christian

    I know it was basically explained, but I still feel horrible. I have always believed in Christ, but have almost always been lukewarm. Just recently I have been tormented over the fact that I willfully sinned with things like porn and I just feel horrible about what I did. I feel like Hebrews 6:4-6 and the prodigal son kind of go against each other, I think it has to do with the way I am interpreting it. Can someone help me? I want to have a relationship with the Lord, but I am pacing my room at 3 AM in torment over what I have done

    Reply
    1. Here to help

      Christian,

      God still loves you. He is proud of you for even posting this and wanting help. Don’t focus on your mistake. Focus on your get back. Christ didn’t die for you to continuously beat yourself up. Try to get rid of things and avoid things that lead to watching pornography. All you can do is move on and try to go as long as possible without doing it again. Read about what doors porn opens for Christians. When you get the feeling you want to watch, read about God and pray and the feeling will flee you. If you have ever forgiven someone who has done you wrong then you know God whose heart it’s better than ours forgives too.

      Reply
    2. Robert

      i am going through a similar situation at the moment,i feel horrible,i feel i am no good and i am not really a child of GOD,i am truly sorry for what i have done ,through fornication, that leaded me to hurt others but yet at the same time i see this other part of me ,actively seeking to break out and indulge itself in sinful acts, without jesus christ and GOD ALMIGHTY i would be in a porn movie as that is what my carnal nature wants,but my spiritual nature knows it is wiser to trust GOD ALMIGHTY i hope that i am not cast away into outer darkness to never see the light again, JESUS is the narrow gate,i also trust that he is merciful ,he died for our sins so logic says he knows more about it than all of humanity put together,continued

      Reply
      1. Robert

        continued>i think the problem we have is trusting him with the stuff that we cant comprehend,remember he is GOD,now i must decrease and be patient and let him increase on his terms,not mine,easy to say hard to practice,and he knows this thats why i think he is merciful,because he loves us and wants to help us but we keep getting his way of his plan for us because we were so used to running the show,old man sin is dead,all glory belongs to the eternal king of kings

        Reply
        1. Ash

          I dont think theres any Christian out there that didnt fall away, you can always go back to God, God will still welcome with openarms, God forgives no matter what, what is nice, God gave me a message which always stuck with me, He never turns away from you, Just turn around He is always there, even if you felt alone its like the 1 trail of footsteps in the desert, what you see. But its not your footsteps its Gods footsteps carrying out the desert, dont just focus on feeling of His presence but only on Him. He is there, always is and always be. if you wondered away for period of time, you can still go him, God will wash you clean again and overflow your cup, your spirit, thats why you dont need to be Baptist 2, just ask to overflow your cu

          Reply
  6. lover of Jesus

    Christian,

    God still loves you. He is proud of you for even posting this and wanting help. Don’t focus on your mistake. Focus on your get back. Christ didn’t die for you to continuously beat yourself up. Try to get rid of things and avoid things that lead to watching pornography. All you can do is move on and try to go as long as possible without doing it again. Read about what doors porn opens for Christians. When you get the feeling you want to watch, read about God and pray and the feeling will flee you. If you have ever forgiven someone who has done you wrong then you know God whose heart it’s better than ours forgives too.

    Reply
  7. Leiyda

    I Really Thought I Finally Was Doing Great Well My Relationship With God ..
    But Then It Starts Hitting Me It All Comes Back .. Sadness , Emptiness .. I Don’t Want To Keep Feeling Like This And
    Honestly I Feel Like God Has Forgotten About Me .. I Am Going Back To The Past I Don’t Want To ..
    I Want To Be The Teen That Was Happy To Get Up And Sing Songs For Christ .. Now I’m Like It’s Whatevet ..
    But It Would Be Great If Someone Could Help Me .. Because I Feel Like Nobody Hears Me ..

    Reply
  8. Ma Angela

    I’ve sinned so much that I felt I’m no longer worthy of acceptance. Then I had this huge heart break. Out of nowhere, I felt the need to run to Him and ask for forgiveness. I surrendered everything to Him. I still don’t feel like going back to my church ( Catholic ). I pray and read bible verses and I feel better. To everyone, please pray for me. That I start to find my path and purpose. -Angela

    Reply
  9. Michael

    I have always thought for myself and done things my way. I couldn’t determine what was real and what was lies because there is so many contradicting statements from man which made me paranoid wondering what if the men that ruled the world changed the bible to lead us from God ? I couldn’t decipher which was the true religion or were they all tricks. Obviously the work of Satan…now I’m scared my own way and thoughts and my sins will send me to hell. I’ve tried repenting yet I’ve sinned again. I hate evil. When I indulge in sin I wonder why am I doing this? I need a miracle from God and I need your prayers. I care for all of you and your well being and I am sitting here terrified of mine. Drugs, porn and alcohol have me worried.

    Reply
    1. Turner

      I don’t know you but this came to my mind when I read your reply… go read Romans 7. When God first called me I was still trapped in besetting sins and though I did not want to do them my heart still went after them. Romans 7 explains what Paul felt when he encountered Christ and found himself doing the things he hated. God bless you brother and know that sometimes the road seems hard but it leads to the cross, I still struggle with my flesh at times and we will until we pass from this life. We must continue to rely on Christ and confess and ask for strength daily. Also never forget the God who created all things also has the power to protect his word through the years. Stick with ESV, or KJV versions. They are based on original…

      Reply
  10. Enrique's

    I feel hopeless. I asked Jesus into my heart as a teen after my mom tried commuting suicide, since then it’s been tough with drug abuse, alcohol, violence, homosexuality. Eventually I got a boyfriend despite what God says about homosexuality and I cursed God because I hated my life and I ended up resenting him. I asked to be unsaved and I even told God I’d rather meet Satan. (Typical rebellious teenager) well now I see the end coming and I want him back. I’m afraid it’s too late and he won’t take me in anymore because I renounced my faith even publicly. Am I hopeless? All I can think of now is ending this hopeless, worthless life.

    Reply
    1. Garrett

      I know how you are thinking and I know you want God just to answer once and for all the “can I repent and be saved?” question. I cant answer this question because I don’t know. I know you just want the truth but I don’t know. Trust in Jesus Christ and repent! it’s easier said than done when we are a sinful wretched mess but think it through man. Killing yourself won’t make anything better, it doesnt.
      Try that is the only choice you have is to try. If you never throw yourself at Christ for mercy and trust in him fully and try to repent you wont know. If you try and fail it is better than to stay where you are at. FIRST TRUST IN HIM THEN DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO GET JESUS BACK! DO NOT TRUST YOUR WORKS OR FEAR BECAUSE OF YOUR SINS…

      Reply
  11. Turner

    I myself struggle with assurance and it’s been my issue ever since. I may struggle with things in my past but I never go out of my way to do them, what caused my footing to slip was assurance. I always questioned why I still desired sinful things, or wondered why I never loved like Christ. I found myself always self examining and because the worst critique. It caused depression, anxiety and fear. It eventually led to me feeling unsaved and now I struggle with the warnings of Hebrews and a hardness that I fight daily. My heart wants to be brought back but it has also developed a hardness because I’ve felt unwanted and abandoned. Still God is above all and able to save, I just pray I’m able to believe and have the faith required. Pray for…

    Reply

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