Tamara’s Christian Testimony

I want to share an abbreviated testimony for what it is worth. Probably, people who are still out there involved in the “new age” movement will not be poking around these kinds of sites, but then again, you never can tell what the Lord will do!

I was raised a Christian in a mainstream Protestant denomination. I will not mention it, because I do not want to cast any aspersions on that denomination, but I never really found a life-changing relationship with Jesus Christ in that church–so maybe it was just me. But the Lord had a great and tortuous and rewarding journey planned for me.

I was saved, in heart and spirit, one night alone in my bedroom, when I was about 15. But it was like the seed cast upon rocky soil–without nurturing, I immediately fell away. I went into drug experimentation, bad lifestyle, abuse of alcohol, and eventually at age 30, entered AA under the influence–divine influence, I believe! God used that program in my life–God led me to my husband in 1987–we felt we had been put together by God, but we were both out of fellowship.

One night, once again, in my bed, as I was reading the “Cours.” I felt I was getting the very strong message from my reading that I should kill myself in order to be one with the “Jesus.” Something inside me cried out against that self-destructive message–I know now it was the Holy Spirit fighting for my life. That night, I suddenly realized I ought to go in search of the belief of my parents, back to my Christian roots. Maybe there was something to it! Maybe I had just not quite gotten it right . . .

I began to pray for God to lead me–and lead me He did, right to a word-teaching, fundamental, Bible-believing church, which I promptly embraced. I began actually READING my Bible, almost every day–I won’t claim I did it right all the time. But God used the Word to draw me.

I have had to lean on that knowledge more than ever in the past two years. My mother passed on in January 2000, and as the only child, all responsibility fell upon me. I did not choose the right path in every instance. Though I was strong enough to make it through all the arrangements, disposing of estate, and moving my father across country to live with me, I sought consolation through overspending until I was in deep debt, returning to alcohol at times, and generally denying the power of the Lord in my life. It has been two years now and I am still struggling with walking a daily path with the Lord. What I have discovered is an even deeper relationship, one which was characterized, I now know, by God never turning away from me, even though in my grief I turned from Him. He still is beside me, calling to me with His limitless love.

. . . if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
ROMANS 10:9

That’s All, Folks!

Tamara
tar54@yahoo.com

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