Sexual Thoughts

Question from a Site Viewer
God has already delivered me from masturbation; now sexual thoughts are haunting me. It is very nice to have a boyfriend and how my body longs for a man. I have days like yesterday where I really fantasize about a man. My body finds pleasure in it. But how I wish God would deliver me from these sexual thoughts and this road to death. I wish my body and my mind would only find pleasure in worshiping God. I wish I could discipline my body to worship God in my thoughts. I know I am in bondage and slavery. What can I do?

Tim’s Answer
I am encouraged that you are engaging in the struggle and not simply giving yourself over to these sexual thoughts. Let me provide some words of advice and encouragement.

First, it is not sin to desire to be in a relationship with a man. This is both natural and God-given. But the desire can lead in two different directions. First, it can lead in a direction of sin, as you note. Second, it can lead in a direction of communication with God and learning to walk with Him. If, when the desires become strong in us, we take the desires to God, talk to God about them, stop and listen to God talking to us about them, and trust God to take care of the desires, then our faith is strengthened and our lives are pleasing to our Savior and therefore a blessing to us and others. The desires have served a useful purpose of strengthening our relationship with God. And, who knows the way God will answer our prayers?

We may sometimes think that such matters are not right to take to God, or that God does not want us to talk to Him about such things. But such displays only an ignorance of our God. God created sex and the desire for people to be in intimate relationships with others. These matters are not foreign to God. He understands us better than we understand ourselves. And He is merciful and kind. I fully believe that the God who understood Hannah’s great desire to have a child also understands the desire of people to have a spouse. I think these are matters that clearly fall within the bounds of what the Father wants us to bring to Him. He understands.

But I also have a word of caution. I think of king Saul who in 1 Samuel 13:5-14 failed to wait for Samuel and because of the failure to wait God took away his kingdom. The big danger in these matters is that we will be like king Saul, and not wait for God in seeking an answer to our prayers. (I know that we can also go to the other extreme and think that waiting on God means that we do nothing to seek a companion. Such passivity is not taught in Scripture. We need to be open to His answers to our prayers and attune to His leading as we seek His answers.) We also need to be patient. The answer from God may not come the same day we pray. But each day we need to do His will. And as we daily seek to do His will, as we daily make His priority in life our priority, we will find that the time we are waiting for His answer will be both productive eternally and an infusion of joy and grace in the here and now.

May the Lord Jesus strengthen you in your desire to honor and glorify Him with your body and with your life.

a fellow servant,


One thought on “Sexual Thoughts”

  1. I am a Christian, I am 22 years old and I am a virgin. but I usually have spontaneous sexual thoughts, having sex with a man. when this happens I usually feel guilty and feel like its a sin. I usually pray and read scripture, and they may go away, but these thoughts are really giving me a problem, how can I control them

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