I’ve Sinned On Purpose — Do I Have Any Hope?

Question from a Site Viewer

Yesterday I sinned on purpose. I kissed a girl, knowing it would hurt our Savior. I regret it. Even so, I did it. Now I don’t feel God anymore. I feel I’ve lost all the good promises he had given me. While sinning I knew what I was doing and I knew that I had the choice to do it or not. Still I did it. I’ve sinned like this before. I prayed for forgiveness and I felt that God had forgiven me. But I don’t feel His forgiveness this time. 

I’ve read Hebrews 10:26-27 and those verses really scare me.

Tim’s Answer

I appreciate your inquiry.  I take it that the girl did not object to you kissing her but that you feel that your act of kissing was disobedient to God.  Kissing another person was a common way of greeting people in Biblical times (Luke 7:45; Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26; 1 Peter 5:14).  Such kissing showed affection and love for people.  Many of us grew up in cultures that no longer greet each other with kisses, and when we are around people who kiss each other, we feel awkward.  But such kissing is not sin.

There is another form of kissing where those who have romantic interests for each other kiss.  I take it this is the form of kissing of which you write. 

First, I think it is wise for you to understand that romantic kissing can feed a fire within you that is hard to control.  In the Song of Solomon, we have the curious instruction not to “stir up nor awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Solomon 8:4).  There are different ways of understanding this passage, but one of them is that we should not be awakening the desire for romantic love in our lives until the proper time. 

As we grow into young adults, it is a difficult time (especially in our sex-crazed culture) to maintain a balanced and disciplined life in this area.  But I urge you to do so.  It is great to be friends with people, to hang out, to love people as part of the family of God, and to grow in maturity and wisdom.  And one can go on dates and enjoy the company of another. 

But I encourage you to strengthen friendship, not romance.  Learn to be good friends.  As Paul exhorted Timothy, treat the younger women around you as your sisters (1 Timothy 5:2).  It is wise to put limits on oneself and to stay safely on the line of self-control and not be led away in the moment to do something rash that will lead to regret in your life and be displeasing to God.  Then, as you approach the age of marriage (assuming you are not there yet), you can begin to pursue a romantic interest in another person of the opposite sex and, if God leads her to you, you can marry and live a life honorable before God in purity and true love.  

Now, to answer your question directly.  Jesus teaches us to keep on forgiving our brothers and sisters when they sin against us.  Jesus does the same for us.  When we sin and confess our sin, He remains faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to restore us (1 John 1:9).  We may not feel like we have been forgiven and it is the nature of the enemy of our souls to continue to condemn us.  He is the accuser of the brothers (Revelation 12:10). 

But this is a matter in which we need to walk by faith, not by our feelings.  God is always true to His promises.  If we confess and forsake our sin, we will have mercy.  This does not mean that we will never stumble again and do what we believe is wrong, but it does mean that when we confess we desire to do what is right.  And having confessed, we want to live wisely in light of God’s Word and in obedience to His Spirit. 

You express your belief that you have committed a willful sin and you are wondering about Hebrews 10:26-27.  You might find this article and this article helpful. As stated in these articles, we all have sinned willfully.  Even David did so, as did Abraham.  The measure of a person is not how they sin, but whether they are humble enough to repent and seek the God who came to save them.  Those who come to Him He will never cast out.  If we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us.  This is true whether it is our first sin, or our 10,000th sin. 

The story of God’s relationship with Israel illustrates this well.  For centuries, Israel served other idols and did not follow God, even though God sent prophets to them pleading with them to repent.  But even as the time of judgment approached in the days of Jeremiah, God is still offering Israel a way out if they would repent (see Jeremiah 26) and in Ezekiel, a contemporary of Jeremiah, God states that He would rather see a sinner repent than see the wicked die in their sins (Ezekiel 18 and 33).  So while willful sins are a bad idea, for those who repent God’s grace and kindness towards us remains the hope of life. 

I encourage you to set your mind to draw close to God and to represent Him well in this world.  Don’t be overly concerned about whether you feel close to God; rather, be concerned about doing the will of God by loving God and loving others.  Draw into Him in prayer, in Bible memorization and meditation, in worship, and in praise and thanksgiving.  Rely on Him in every part of life, praying and giving thanks for everything. 

I also encourage you not to pull away from relationships, but rather seek to find ways to serve others and enrich their lives with the goodness that God is working in you.  Yet, keep your relationships pure.  As stated, learn to be good friends first, then when the time comes you can seek the will of God whether the friendship should become something more. 

May the Lord Jesus guide you as you grow in Him.  And may your love and gratitude for Him grow ever deeper even as you live your life in service to Him and to others.