First I would like to state that I grew up in a very religious Catholic background. My family would go to Church Mass every Sunday while myself and my brother and sister were growing up. My parents also sent us to Catholic schools out here in California.
I always believed in God but I had doubts about Jesus and went back and forth on Jesus(Yeshua) pretty much all my life. Like all rebellious children there came a time growing up that I did not want to go to church or follow the 10 commandments; I wanted to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I think I was in my early teens or late teen years that I stopped wanting to think about God because I was pursuing my interests.
Long story short, I first got into partying with my friends and that party did not seem to end. I became a drug addict and alcoholic. In my early thirties I was arrested for the last time and could not do what I was doing anymore otherwise I was either going to die, end up in an institution or go on to some type of miserable end. I ended up going into a Recovery Home and AA meetings and then through the 12 steps re-established a relationship with God and experienced a number of different spiritual experiences that allowed me to recover and become a contributing citizen and loving family member. I was now a 12-stepper. All the time I still wasn’t sure about Jesus and was a bit rude to Christians when they would come to knocking at the door and trying to preach to me about Jesus. And all the while I was still saying that I was a believer of the God of the Bible.
In 2017 my mother passed away and our family dynamics were changing and I had lost my mom and best friend. Also I lost a dear friend and mentor that helped through a number of different life situations. I did not know this at the time, but I believe this was the Lord drawing me near to him. Without me recognizing what was going on (with myself), I started to experiment with what I thought were more spiritual experiences like meditation and then stuff like remote viewing. After experimenting with these practices (by the way, the Bible states that these things are an abomination to God), I did not find what I was seeking—the truth about what happens to us after death.
The day that I ran into Jesus I was a bit discouraged and was watching a YouTube video about a woman who had escaped out of a satanic group and was telling her story to a preacher. She ended up telling her story about how Jesus saved her and she quoted the Bible and a number of different scripture passages like Deuteronomy 18:9-13, Ephesians 5:6-11;6:12-17 and John 3:16. Throughout her testimony I was being convicted. I truly had no idea how much God loves us.
After watching her video, I was in the shower thinking about all that she had testified and I fell to my knees and asked Jesus to forgive me. I told Him that he was now going to be my Lord and Savior, all the while crying with tears that just kept on flowing down my face. I think that day or the next I was taking a nap during the day and the Holy Spirit visited and sealed me as one of Christ’s followers. This was in October of 2017 and I have been reading the Bible ever since, every day if just even a few pages at a time.
If you have been a non-believer of Jesus Christ or just a “not sure Christian” Christian like me, I beg you to give the Lord Jesus a chance. At the least, in a quiet time, ask him if He is who he says He is in the Bible. Ask Him to show you the truth. Do this if you are seeking the truth of God. I can guarantee you He will disclose Himself to you if you seek earnestly.