I wrote my Christian testimony down once before, prior to this entry. However, the journal I once had with me has been discarded, because I was the one who discarded it. I would like to leave on this page a wondrous experience. By wondrous I mean you’d be wondering how or why this could happen to the likes of anyone.
I’ve turned my life over to Christ. I had several reasons but it started with one simple fact–I was in desperate need of salvation. Starting February 8, 2011, I was in terrible shape, though I wouldn’t admit it to myself. I was lowly, timid, and perverse in thought. Now please don’t judge me for what I have done. Christ accepts sinners and saves us for His glory. At the time I was addicted to alcohol and marijuana. I was single, lonesome, and very social-phobic. I won’t get into too much detail but I began to walk a trail the likes of which I would never wish upon another. I was harassed daily–physically and mentally. I was unable to sleep, bombarded with impure thoughts and threatened to the point of fear. I was hearing voices outside and within my mind, and feeling sensations on parts of myself.
During all this I had several ideas as to what was causing this or what it was. It could have been schizophrenia, demonic activity, gang stalking–but regardless of what may have caused it I needed help. You can probably see why I turned to Jesus. But at the time I didn’t think so. I probably made some bad mistakes but God has a purpose for everything. Before I accepted Christ, I was seeing doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, a psychic, a spiritualist and priests. On many occasions people visited me and spoke with me. My family of course did all they could, and I cherish them more for it now than I did before this happened.
After all the hustle of going from person to person, sometimes more than once, asking how or what they could do to help me, I realized they weren’t able to. At least not as I had hoped. Somehow I just knew Jesus was the only way. He cared so much for me that now I’m no longer afraid; I no longer have this fear I lived with for so long. With good reason. Jesus did what he did. And God is doing what he does.
So now I’m not doubting at all, no matter how the circumstances seem. By God’s grace I can admit I am better today than I was then. And by His grace and power, He allowed me to have and live a normal life.
I still hear the voices but I know that I have my faith in God and trust in Jesus. There is nothing they can say that God cannot handle, and I’ll endure until they are gone.