Converted From Satanism

Please keep my identity anonymous. I am a Christian converted by God from satanism. After leaving a comment online about a Christian video, I started receiving mail from a satanist. Since then we have corresponded back and forth. He sends a satanic hymn, and I send him scricpture and do my best to witness to him. I pray the Lord opens his eyes. The following includes my testimony and was my first letter.

Dear satanist that left me a comment that I deleted:

Perhaps the Lord sent you here for a reason. I’ll be praying for you. You don’t know why but I hope one day you’ll see before it’s too late. I used to be a satanist myself. By the way, you seem like you’re a lot nicer than I was then.

When I was four years old my parents were avoiding each other. I have flashbacks from before then, but that’s all I can remember in terms of their relationship to each other. When I was five my parents were getting a divorce. All I knew was that my dad had just become a Christian and now my mom was moving out. So I hated him for it. And not only that, but I listened to the lies of the devil and hated the God of my father as well. I set my rebellious heart fiercely against Him. From ages 5-16 (until I moved out of my dad’s house), I attended church – twice on Sundays, and on Wednesday evenings. I hated it. I had hateful eyes towards the people there. I purposefully shut my ears to the truth. However, there were a few people there I couldn’t help but like. They were few and far between, but they were genuine and real, down-to-earth people that took an interest in me and liked me, even though my hate for the church had to be written all over me. Why they reached out to me I didn’t know. But bottom line, I hated the hypocrites and to spite them I rebelled against God, never wanting to spend a second with them in the next life. And where were all the hypocrites going to end up? Heaven? I don’t think so. Little did I know I was headed to hell where all the hypocrites were going to be too! I lied to myself constantly, making a discipline of hardening myself to anything Christian; resisting any temptation to be moved by anything I had heard and had been stirred or touched by. Oddly enough, the Christians were the only ones trying to save me. I don’t think an atheist, satanist, or buddhist ever cared that much. I was never going to allow myself to become a Christian – it would be the farthest thing from me. I took pride in myself and lived for me, self-exaltation, superiority, self-indulgence, etc. . . . self-styled.

I thought it was ironic that I went through so much depression. Later I acknowledged to myself that I was probably bi-polar. I wouldn’t let it show because I didn’t want to show any signs of weakness, even though I think I was the most insecure person I knew.

When I was six we lived next to some satanists who killed my neighbors pet rabbit and told the little girl about it. I still thought they were cool. Cops were there almost every weekend. They lived there for a couple of years and then moved. When I was in the fourth grade my older sister started a bible study with my older brother, her boyfriend, and four others; two people from the church, a gangbanger hiding from his gang, and yep, an ex-satanist. I wanted to know all about their past that seemed so glamorous to me. The ex-satanist, now preacher, was a pastor’s son who watched his best friend get taken over by demonic possession. About a week later his friend died in a car accident on his way home from a ritual. The gang-banger lost his faith and stopped coming – I never heard what happened to him. I always wondered if his gang ever found him. I continued on my rebellious ways, still unsatisfied with life and running into depression. I was 8 when I almost got arrested (a subdivision board had mercy on me and didn’t file charges-the police were involved). The same year I was almost expelled from school for property damage. When I was 12 I finally got arrested. I almost when to juvenile hall for that one. Inwardly and outwardly I was evil. Yet somehow I thought I was wiser and better than anyone! I should be dead or in prison right now. Anyway, I married my high school sweetheart when I was 20. I bought a house at the same time. I was high every day for the next two years, and drunk frequently. On the weekends I would wake up and put whiskey in my coffee. I was wretched yet self-righteous. I justified everything I did and in my head I was always right, and if somehow I couln’t justify it I shoved that memory aside. I was happier than my wife because I made sure I won all of the arguments. I felt I was doing more than her because I brought home a bigger check. Most fights started because I thought I did more around the house, even though in all reality she did a lot. I just ignored it. And I didn’t even stop and think for a minute that she was tired from working so much and worn out. On top of her stressful job, I had destroyed her self-confidence at home and made her feel worthless. I never hit her; I just made her feel like nothing. My wife loved me anyway. All in all I thought we mostly had a good marriage.

I could only keep the depression down for so long before it would flood me again. Sometimes I would lose all emotion and become apathetic. One night that was the case. I had just been through a low spot and had finally lost almost all feeling. I was pretty numb. I had what I thought was a moment of clarity. It was 2:00 A.M. and my high was wearing off. I took a vaguely honest look at my life. I admitted to myself I was a scumbag . . . too big for the bag anymore. All of my years before seemed wasted. I couldn’t figure out the past puzzles that my mind wouldn’t let me let go of. Like when I was four or five and was hitting my older brother over the head with a wooden hammer while he just sat there, holding the square block in his hand, just sobbing. (He wouldn’t do anything else and neither would I. I couldn’t figure out why he just sat there. Still, 20 years later and I still couldn’t figure it out – he was four years older than me. Worst of all I thought, if my dad didn’t catch me in the act what would have happened to my dear brother? Now I know that the Lord had intervened and stopped me from the evil thing I was carrying out.) Or what about the other many other mind-bending past mysteries? But I was in agreement with myself that I had had enough of myself, as did the rest of the world. I cursed the day I was born. I was going to do what I had thought about since I was a little boy in grade school. I finally had the guts, had seen behind every appealing promising trap, had sucked life dry, no longer felt responsible for anyone’s feeling I might hurt. I felt totally alien to the world. I felt as if I wasn’t supposed to have been born, yet somehow was. I was named in honor after a miscarried cousin, somehow I felt I had been cursed or reincarnated. I was never going to write a suicide note, either. I didn’t want to leave some sappy, self-pitying note for my family or friends. At the same time I didn’t want anyone to have one of those puzzling memories haunting them, too. I tried to justify and explain it every way I could. I wrote a three-page note. I then decided I would not leave a note. So, I decided to stop wasting time and to get on with it. I very methodically took the hose off of the vacuum cleaner. I went quietly outside and taped up the hose to my tailpipe. I tied the back door shut and went inside. I thought I should have warmed up the engine because it was freezing inside. Then I realized it wasn’t going to matter anyway. The fumes were surprisingly potent. All I had to do was close my eyes and take a nap. I was shivering too much to fall asleep, although I thought I would. I closed my eyes and felt a sudden tight, jerky, pull of despair within me. As if someone pulled a rip cord on the bottom of my heart and said “Man, didn’t think it was gonna be like this. I never thought my life was going to turn out this way.” A total sense of worthlessness and failure fell over me. For the first time I actually prayed and said “God . . . I’m sorry for the mess I’ve made.” Next thing I know I’m thinking of how my wife reacted hysterically when she found her dead pet. Then I thought about what I would be doing to my wife. I didn’t deserve her and she could have found a guy way better than me who would treat her right. And I couldn’t help but see her going hysterical over finding me in the morning. And in my heart I knew she would snap. I don’t think she could handle that. And I realized further what a jerk I really was capable of being. Ashamed and still alive, I turned off the engine and reversed my procedure. At 3-something A.M. I went to bed next to my wife.

While believing in a god, I started to live my life with a new positive outlook, yet I still lived in my sins. I thought I had gotten to know the God of the Universe and started to become kind of “spiritual” – I did a lot of searching. I thought I had lightened up on rebelling against God and started embracing Him. Yet I did not know Him. While trying one day to cross-reference something I had read in a book, I bought a Bible and started reading Revelations. I was instantly convicted and for the first time scared. For at that moment I knew I was an enemy of God and totally at His mercy. I knew then that the former sense of spirituality I felt was entirely false. I had no ground to stand on. I was afraid and knew that for whatever reason God had mercy on me and spared me from the plan I was going to carry out the few weeks prior. I knew at that moment that my life and the rest of my eternity were in God’s hands. I felt very small at that moment. I cried out to God for mercy. I was face down saying from the depth of my heart that I was sorry for all the lies I had spoken about God. Shaking, I asked God to take over my life, that I couldn’t do it anymore. My eyes were opened by God’s grace and I knew the truth. The morsels of the gospel I had grown up with came back to me. I felt the love of God wash over me. I never thought God could actually love me with love as I have never known before. I read the Prodigal Son and cried. That God would take someone like me and call me His. Me, the guy who only cried a few times that I was aware of in my life – had poured everything out. I felt like a son loved by a Father he never knew before. One who made Himself known to me, and made my soul know His love for me. Something the devil tries to keep me from all of the time now. The fellowship that I long for. I knew Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I knew God and forgiveness.

Day one of my new life. I burned about fifty books, which don’t burn fast, threw out videos, some drugs, related devices, liquor, about half of my record collection – cds, etc . . . I decided to follow Christ. While I started out strong, I started to slip while new in the faith. Old ways within die hard and some never die at all. But Christ has given me grace and strength through it all. I’ve had my share of doubts, shaking sand. But Christ has always carried me through it. Thank God He won’t turn me away or let me be snatched out of His hand. He is the Father that does what is best for His children, whether they know it or not. And by His grace, He has brought me to Him. And I know my eyes have been opened, I knew reality as I knew it before was blindness. When my eyes were closed, and I was obliviously marching to a hell I thought would be cool while the devil was drooling right in front of my face and my eyes never saw it. I was on my way to hell, proud of it, never knowing how much the devil wants to murder you and see you fall from God’s protection from evil. The spiritual death that happened to mankind was caused when the serpent (Satan, the father of lies, the evil one) tempted Adam and Eve to sin against God and they followed him and rebelled against God. Since then, man is naturally alive to sin and dead to God. This is the way it is. Man follows the devil, most times unknowingly, deceived into thinking that they are actually living for themselves, and/or following their own god. Or born-again man, by God’s grace, follows the one True God; being one God in three persons; that is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. God, who has defeated the evil one by taking the death that we deserve upon Himself, in the body of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God, and came from heaven, sent by His righteous Father, to be obedient to the Father, who laid His life down for the sheep (the lost are astray and are blinded in darkness under the dominion of the devil). By His mercy our eyes are opened, and we have a Savior of our souls and will be saved from our sins.

Christ came to save the sinners and heal the sick. He loves the hurting and comforts the afflicted. He heals the lame; He saves the dying. He spared Himself not, that we might live who have believed in His name. He was wounded and bled out for our sins. He took on Himself every lash from leather whips (put together pieces of rock and bone) which is what WE deserved. He took our pain and punishment on Himself. He gritted His teeth and out of love for us took every lash that tore His flesh to His bone. And when they spat on my Lord and tortured Him, they spat in His face and made him carry His own cross to die on. He was beaten so badly, he collapsed under the weight of it. They drove nails through his hands and feet. To breathe He had to pull Himself up on the cross by the nails in His hands to push up the diaphragm to take in air. While He was dying He was mocked. He said to His Father “It is Finished.” Death could not hold Him and He took His life up from the grave on the third day as He said He would. He said our names would be written on His hands and by His stripes we are healed. He did this to save His children from the coming judgment. Mankind is already judged. Christ is our only justification. He said for the weary to come to Him, and to take on Hid yoke and learn from Him. He who Has the Son has the Father. He who does not have the Son does not have the Father.

I will dwell among them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate, says the Lord. And do not touch what is unclean; and I will welcome you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”
2 Corinthians 6:16-18

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2: 4-7

17 thoughts on “Converted From Satanism”

  1. I was deeply touched. I know God is happy to have you back home and your story will touch so many others God bless you.

  2. this is great to hear. i am a strong Christian who is 17.. any Christians want to rise up and help me get this Satanist back home? if so, can you give me some tips on some ways to convert her back to Christianity. She used to be Lutheran but now believes in witchcraft and Satan is the light. I’ve been literally killing her with kindness and it drives her up the wall, for she hates kindness, as Satan has ahold of her. any comments on things you may think might help?(:

    1. I do not know the circumstances involving this person you want to get back home, but I know that God knows. The best action anyone can do for someone who is lost is to pray for them. As they do not have access to the Father and we do, we carry out our role as priests in this world when we plead with God on the behalf of others.

      The second thing we need to do is increase in our love for our brothers and sisters in Christ. That love relationship is what others will see and will cause them to know that we are followers of Christ.

      The third thing we can do is engage in loving ways with the lost person. It sounds like you have been doing this. This is the will of the Father, as He Himself extends kindness to draw us to repentance.

      Finally, as opportunities come, we should share what Christ means to us, how He is daily enriching our lives, how He communicates with us, and how He answers our prayers. This is what a witness does, tells of his own personal encounters with the risen Christ.

      Take the long view. You are sowing seeds of the gospel. Pray that the Father will water the seeds and bring fruit from His word. Your labor is never in vain when you are serving The Lord. And it is the Lord’s will to have sinners converted. Trust Him with this person.

      May the God of glory strengthen you and keep you in His love,

    2. Keep trying and don’t give up. I’m also working on my best friend, a Satanist, who left God years before I met her. In 7th grade, she was athesis but her boyfriend has converted her to Satanist. I feel like God has put me on this mission to save her. To bring her back to Him. Show her love and kindness. My friend told me she doesn’t believe she can be saved. Explain the love God has for her. Explain how he gave his son to be with her. And the worth we are in God’s eyes. But always show her kindness and love.

  3. Pray for Adam Daniels sex offender and satanist Adam Daniels and Sign Petition to STOP the Satanic Black Mass in Oklahoma
    satanists are planning a “Black Mass” on city property at the Civic Center in Oklahoma City on Sunday, September 21, 2014.
    Please spread the word to all your friends so we can stop this sacrilege. Protest voice and prayers were decisive at Harvard University — the “Black Mass” there was stopped. Canceled. Sign your peaceful protest here. Thanks. God bless.

  4. Hey guys, I’m catholic and I’m in Highschool. I met this really sweet guy and he’s my bf but he’s a satanist. I don’t know what to do, I really love him and I want to convert him to Christianity. He told me he was Christian and converted to satanism because of his really rough life. I told him I’m sorry about everything that happened to him but that it isn’t his fault or God’s and that God is real. He said he know’s God is real, but he’s just a satanic. I don’t know what to do or of he will ever convert for me. I’m really stressed out but I’m strong in my faith and will never leave my faith for anyone so I don’t know if anyone has advice on how to convert him or what I should do. Please pray for his and all the satanics conversion if you see this comment. Thank you for your time.

    1. Thank you for your comment. And thank you for your desire to see others come to know the God of the Bible. However, I am concerned about your situation. It is one thing to love people and want to see them come to know Jesus. But when our love begins to morph into a love where we desire to be with someone else in a close relationship, our emotions can sometimes overtake our best intentions. Scripture is very clear that there is no fellowship (or close relationship) between light and darkness, between God and Satan (2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1). This is true whether your friend follows satanism or follows materialism or atheism. We must guard our hearts to ensure that our first and great love is always for Christ. We do not want to be those who choose an earthly love that leads us into a relationship that is not conducive to the truth.

      I encourage you to make it clear to your friend that you do not want to have any romantic relationship with him. At the core of your respective belief systems, there is no compatibility. Let him know that Jesus will always come first in your life. I pray that your friend will come to see the God who really is and will turn to trust in Jesus. But I would not want him to turn solely to obtain you and not turn because He wants to be with Jesus. The motives of our hearts are important to God. I suggest that you talk with your priest or a respected member of your church about these issues and not try to deal with these issues on your own. They can be of great help and guidance to you.

      My prayer is with you that you will have the wisdom that comes from God and that your influence along with God’s Spirit and the influence of others will lead your friend to our Savior.


  5. We have been together with my husband for 18 years. Before I married him I didn’t know much about his backround. I raised up in a strong christian family. When I married him it’s totally an opposite thing. He was strongly believed in materialism. Eventhough he wasn’t satanic but I strongly believed he was spirit possessed. If he traveled overseas he stopped me from going to church and I used to listened to him. I didnt know I made a big mistake and satan tried to make me confused. The more I listened to him the more problems created until one day God opened my eyes. I finally realised that I should make the right decisions and should keep on praying. Now we both serve God and very happy. Nothing is impossible in God. Keep on praying.

  6. Thanks for sharing man I love hearing testimonies of how God saved a Satanist, maybe because I used to be one myself. Anyways praise The Lord you are saved.

  7. Hello I could use some help. I am dating this girl who I am truly in love with and I plan on proposing to her on thanksgiving but there is something that is getting me… She’s a satanist and right now I wanna save her.. I believe God is using me to save her I just need help and advice is there anything I can do because she’s really into it saying she’s happy but I know deep inside her she isn’t and she can be saved please help me I believe I can save her..

    1. I think you are playing with fire brother. First ask your self, do you want to convert her for Christ or for your own benefits. Why would you even date someone you know is a satanist. The bible strictly condemns us in 2Corinthians 6:14-15 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? ” That must be the devil’s trap and I highly advise you to look for a believing, mature and spirit filled partner.

    1. Dear Christopher,
      This is my husband’s phone, but I feel very strongly that you need an answer to your question. If you’re concerned that you’ve blasphemed the Holy Spirit, you haven’t. I can sense your fear and pain. God loves you so much and is so much stronger than the devil. Remember the story of thede oniac in Luke 8:26-39? This poor man couldn’t even say his own words. The thousands of demons yelled out their own words. But, you know what, Christopher, when he saw Jesus, he threw himself down in front of Him and cried from his heart! Jesus heard that and saved him from thousands of powerful demons!
      Christopher! Your heart’s cry is more powerful than any roars from Satan’s mouth! Cry out to Jesus! He can hear…

  8. My husband of 15 years has joined some online Satanic groups. He says it’s mainly for the art and that most Satanists don’t worship Satan. He says they are just online friends and he likes talking to them. He also has been listening to this black metal music. He says he just likes the sound not the satanic words. He says he still believes in Jesus. I just don’t understand. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?

  9. Hi everyone, I’m in great emotional pain, I have recently read about the unforgivable sin, trying to research if you can be forgiven! I once turned to satan and satanism, I never did any rituals or sacrifices, I just became one and spoke to Satan rather than god…please please tell me I can be forgiven, I turned back to god tonight, ive been trying to research how to become Christian and how to repent for my sins of blasphemy, can God forgive me and allow me to become a Christian? You advice will be so hugely appreciated.

    1. Joshua, “For Godly Sorrow Worketh Repentance unto salvation not to be repented of but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” You are to have sorrow for your sins and believe Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose the third day for the forgiveness of your sins and asking him to save you with all your heart. Ask Jesus to give you his Holy Spirit to indwell you and give you the gift of eternal life and peace and Joy do this with all your heart. Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Read a Bible and repent have heart felt sorrow for your sin when you sin asking God for forgiveness. Ask God to help you live Holy and reveal himself to you. Hope this helped.

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