This is hard for me to even type . . . I haven’t talked to anyone about it. Here we go.
I felt that I had a good childhood up until 8 when my parents divorced. I didn’t know why until later in life. My my parents were both unfaithful; my dad slept with my aunt and my mom slept with my uncle.
My father in depression told me he drank a whole bottle of vodka. He blacked out and later found out he broke into a home and vandalized it, waking up with a woman’s coat full of money. He went to prison for, I think over a year.
I cried a lot because I was missing my dad. My mom moved us to different men’s houses. I was torn. We lived in a women’s shelter in elementary school. I ate Top Ramen in a bread bag for lunch. I remember crying about it at school. I hated life. I was so depressed. I thought about suicide a lot and felt so alone!
In high school I lost my faith even though it wasn’t strong to begin with. I struck the cross on my grandmother’s wall calling it stupid. And I made fun of Christians in the only times I was dragged to church. (I regret that a lot to this day though I know Jesus forgave me.)
Living with my father I watched him cheat on women. I watched porn and slept around with women. Some I didn’t even know their names. I didn’t have a mental attraction for them; it was just lust. Then to escape my depression I would smoke a lot of marijuana. I would wake up smoking all day.
On a Sunday we passed a Pentecostal church and we decided to go. It was the best choice of my life. I was baptized on December 1st and the following Sunday I was filled with the holy ghost. I no longer smoked or even looked at girls with lust.
My life is so great now and I have JESUS to THANK! I know now that I am truly loved and so are you! I love you all. I LOVE GOD! I love my parents and forgive them in my heart. I pray that this reaches someone in need. God bless.