My Christian Testimony
I was about nine years old when I first met my biological father. The hardest part about it was that I had a step-father all those years before and I thought he was my biological father. The confusion was like going through an eye of a hurricane. My step-father left for who knows what reason! I did love him very much though; I still do. It was just real hard for me to see him leave.
I had so much, much anger against my real father. Not only did he wait nine years to find me, but he took my stepfather away. I tried making the best of it–I really did. I remember sitting and waiting on the curb in front of my house countless days and my father never showing up. Actually it was on that curb that I met most of my childhood friends. They ended up showing me a whole bunch of new trouble.
I was about 10 or 11 years old when I began smoking weed and experiencing different drugs. I remember that is when I stole my first car; it was the beginning of a life of bad choices. After that my life just became a whole lot worse. Everything you didn’t suspect a juvenile of doing, I did. I ran with a gang; I stole and sold guns. I was sent to Juvenile Hall, Boot Camp. I missed about six or seven Thanksgivings and Christmases due to being incarcerated. By the time I was 17 years old I had been charged with 36 felonies and 56 misdemeanors. I knew without a doubt that I was going to YA (Youth Authority) at least until I was 25 years old. I already done three camp commitments and a whole bunch of time in Juvenile Hall. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life incarcerated. That is when I first cried out to Jesus Christ. “Jesus, if you are really who my mom says you are and who this book (the Bible) says you are, PLEASE HELP ME, I BEG YOU!” Without a doubt He saved me from the lion’s den. I was sentenced to a six month commitment to Los Prietos Boot Camp for the fourth time (this does not happen). You would think that is when I learned my lesson. No sir, not me . . .
Shortly after being released from custody I started stealing, dealing and using drugs again. I fell for lust of a girl and after being together for two and a half years and having a child together, she left me for another man. Instead of seeking the Lord, I became depressed and started cutting my wrist. The pain was unbearable so I chose to swallow 95 pills hoping to end my life. I was sent to Juvenile Hall, Boot Camp.
Ladies and gentleman, young and old, I want you to know that God had a plan for my life. Jesus saved me once again from going down to the pits of hell. I was taken to the Emergency Room, after telling a friend what I had done and of course by then I was showing side-effects. While I was in intensive care for a week the mother of my daughter made a false police report against me. She was angry because she found out that I was seeing another woman. I was released from the hospital into the custody of the Santa Maria Police Department. I found myself with a hole in my heart from heartbreak and in jail for something I didn’t do. When I went to court I was told I could get up to 18 years in prison. Now imagine my pain! How would you feel? How would you take this? Not only am I accused of something God knows I didn’t do, but I could spend the next 18 years in prison!
While I was in a deep sleep in a cell by myself, I had a vision of being told to find the Lord. I woke up sweating and I cried out to the Lord. “Lord, my life is a wreck, but you let me live for a reason. Please help me. Please forgive me and give me a new heart. Please take me as I am.” Ever since that day I have been serving the Lord here in jail 100%. God has taken away my depression and has given me a new heart.
About a week after surrendering my life completely, I was moved to a dorm with about 55 men. I am the leader of a prayer circle that we hold every night. And I have started to study the Bible on my own. Praise God the numbers are increasing. As crazy as it sounds, I believe with all my heart that God placed me in here for a reason, to completely surrender my life to Him and to carry out His Word.
I am still incarcerated but I am finally free of the bondage of depression through the grace and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ and Savior. Amen!
For He redeemed my soul from going to the pit and I will live to enjoy the light.