I went to a very judgmental church, and it was very hard to really be myself there. So right before high school I quit going. It was hard because it was my family church but I knew it wasn’t helping me. I was experiencing a lot of trouble and I didn’t feel peace at all. I was very disconnected from God.
Well, high school didn’t help either. In the 9th grade it was pretty decent because I met my best friend Ron. Ron made me very happy and I was secretly in love with him but I didn’t know how to express it. I was still going through many things in my family and within myself.
I finally hit rock bottom in 10th grade. Ron went to another school, so we grew apart. It was and is to this day the worse part of my life. I cut myself at that time. I wanted to die. I completely turned my back on God. I believed He was real, but honestly at that point and time I just didn’t care. I was very depressed. I did many things I’m ashamed of. I cussed like a sailor and I lashed out at people, but what’s really bad is I pushed Ron far away from me because I just didn’t want to deal with life anymore. I thought I didn’t deserve happiness. 10th grade almost took my life completely away.
But God sent me Ron for a reason. We began dating and we decided to go to a judgment house we were invited to by our current youth pastor. It really hit home for me. I knew I didn’t want to go to hell. I wanted eternal life with Jesus, but I had never been a true Christian. I didn’t know what to do but gradually over time I still felt the pulling on my heart so one day in church I got saved. It was a really big step for me and I’ve been a Christian ever since. It hasn’t been easy and I still mess up a lot but I know I have God in my corner. I am now truly happy and Ron and I have been together for well over a year. Jesus is my savior and He has forever changed my life. I know I am still a sinner and I still mess up every day and I will never live up to Jesus but I love Him and I know He is and will always be in my life. Thank the Lord for the cross. It saved a wretch like me.