Drugs are a lie from the very pit of Hell.
How do I know?
I took ’em for 13 years.
Here is my story.
It is not a drunkalogue or a blow by blow account by any means – this is not a confession box! It is intended only to be a brief testimony.
Well what do I mean when I say I took drugs?
I mean Alcohol, Heroin, Cocaine, Crack, Ecstasy, Acid, Speed, Valium, Temazepam and Hash to name a few.
I had my first drink when I was about 11 or so at a New Year’s party. I had a bottle of cider and can remember falling out of a taxi into the gutter that night. That pattern was unfortunately set for more or less every time I took a drink from that point on. You may be asking where were my parents? Well, my dad was absent (I never really knew him until I was about 13) and my mum bought it for me! Yes. Strange as it may seem, it was an attempt to introduce me to alcohol under “controlled” conditions.
Well, after that I never really got involved in booze & drugs until I was around 14 when I started smoking hash at school, taking acid and speed and drinking on the weekends. Most of the time nothing too serious happened and I didn’t really think about it. When I was 18 my Grandmother died. My Grandmother was the Matriarch; she was the one who raised us (me and my 3 sisters that is) for the most part and left a huge hole in my life when she died.
I started drinking heavily and got involved in the 90’s club scene where I was introduced to ecstasy, speed and cocaine. I was out every night and I mean seven days. I never worked and slept all afternoon in those days. I became an alcoholic and a drug addict very quickly; by 21 I was drinking first thing in the morning to take away guilt feelings and the shakes.
I first sought help for my alcoholism when I was 21 – I went to AA to try to quit. I continued to go to AA until I was 25 when I was first admitted to Rehab. Prior to this Rehab admission I had been admitted to hospitals many times with injuries, seizures, overdoses and withdrawal symptoms. I stayed in Rehab for 7 weeks and got sober for a while.
I started drinking again and by this time (age 26) was a “duvet drinker,” rarely getting out of bed. I was just sleeping, waking up and drinking, drinking every waking hour. I self harmed a lot and I hated myself. When I did go out I drank and I drugged and got jailed a lot. I was a regular at Casualty Departments across Glasgow (admitted to the hospital 42 times in 13 years) have been in psychiatric wards many times and have also been an inmate at Her Majesty’s Prison Barlinnie. I got Rehabbed again and spent more time in psychiatric after I slashed my wrists again.
In 1997 I got a phone call from a girl I used to go to school with. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since school and she had no idea that I was an alcoholic. She told me that she had managed to find my number through other people that knew me because Jesus had spoken to her about me! I was freaked out and frankly gave her short shrift thinking she was mad. She said that God told her to tell me that He loved me, that He knew what I was going through and that He had a plan for me. “Rubbish,” I thought. Anyway, I took notice of this for about 5 minutes then carried on doing what I did best (or so I thought); I got into lots more trouble, street fights, arrests – the usual.
I had just come out of psychiatric for the third time in 6 months where they had hit me on the knees again with a lot of little rubber hammers . . . saying, “We can’t find anything wrong with you,” when another phone call came, this time from my sister. By this point I had nowhere to live and was sleeping anywhere I could – I just wanted to die but I didn’t want to die if you can understand that. You see, what I, the doctors and psychiatrists did not understand was that there was a spiritual problem at the root of my destructive behaviour.
My sister told me that her friend (who didn’t know me that well – she just knew about me) had called her up and told her that God had been speaking into her heart about me. This was the second time – God was on my case BIG TIME. She asked if I would come along to speak to her pastor because she knew only Jesus could save me. Am I exaggerating? No. My GP (who had already told me to get another doctor) actually broke with code and ethics and called my family to tell them I did not have long to live. My family were actually making plans for my death! This is not a joke.
Anyway, I went along to speak to the pastor. I kept asking what was wrong with me. I had been asking that for years. He didn’t respond in the usual “Freudian” fashion spouting the same old psychobabble, “Possible oral fixation during the latent stage . . . What do you think is wrong with you?” etc., etc., etc! He told me I had an orphan spirit and that hole in my belly could only be filled by God – not drink, drugs or women. He just spoke the truth and it pierced my heart like an arrow . . .
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
“Why hadn’t anyone told me this before?” I thought. I could not believe that it was so simple that I had missed it for 13 long years – you see, the truth is not something but someone – Jesus. I came to the Lord that day. I was saved by the grace of God the Father and my sins were washed away by the blood of Jesus Christ His son.
I will not leave you as orphans.
Since then my mind has been renewed supernaturally and God has healed me from the inside out. I AM NOT WHO I USED TO BE. I am a new creation in Christ. I do not take or use any drugs of any sort – no prescription drugs or anti-depressants; I don’t even smoke! God did a number on me – all the glory is His! I just asked – He did the rest. I am now married with a beautiful new wife . . . My wife Karen and I got married on a pier in Antigua in 2007 and we now each operate our own businesses . . . when you consider that people were stepping over me in the street just four years earlier I think you can understand the truth of this scripture:
If the Son sets you free – you are free indeed.”
Amen. Glory to God.
If you are reading this and you or someone you know has a similar problem . . . cry out to Jesus. God does not have favorites (Romans 2:11). What He has done for me He can do for you or for those that you love. If you are lost as I was – find the way – His name is Jesus.
I am the way, the truth and the life.
But seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
. . . if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Thank you Jesus.
www.scotcrone.co.uk – Keepin it real 4 Jesus