Is Anything Off Limits Sexually for Spouses?

Question from a Site Viewer

Is anything off limits sexually for my wife and I?

Tim’s Answer

You ask whether anything is off limits sexually between you and your wife. The answer is yes. Anything done that is not done to serve and please your spouse is off limits. You have a responsibility before God to honor and seek to please your wife (1 Corinthians 7:33, 1 Peter 3:7). Any sexual activity that demeans, hurts, embarrasses, causes emotional distress, or is done through coercion, intimidation, or against the will of your spouse would be wrong in the sight of God. Any sexual activity that both you and your spouse are jointly delighted in is good and right before God. In fact, in Hebrews 13:4, the Scripture writer uses the term “undefiled” to describe sexual relations between spouses in a marriage.

So I would encourage you to think of the wishes and desires of your spouse in your sexual activities, seeking to honor and please her. This is one of the things that grows love in a marriage.

May the Lord give you wisdom in this.

A fellow pilgrim,

tim's signature for the article Is Anything Off Limits Sexually with my Wife?

3 thoughts on “Is Anything Off Limits Sexually for Spouses?”

  1. Sodomy is a sin regardless of whether or not it is with a man, animal, or one’s spouse. I don’t think sodomy can be considered “okay” as long as both parties agree with it. That’s one of a number of examples. Maybe you should add to your answer, “Any sexual activity that both you and your spouse are jointly delighted in is good and right before God, AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T VIOLATE ANY OF GOD’S COMMANDS.” I mention this because anal sex is becoming increasingly popular with the world and I know many Christian men that have talked about how they can’t wait to have anal sex when they get married. That would be one thing that is a sin, regardless if both participants want to do it.

  2. My husband passed into glory two years ago. I’ve met a Christian gentleman who is single. I am 65. He is 63 years of age. We have been spending time together. We would like to go away for a short break. Is it ok if we share a room but sleep in single beds

    1. Hi Jean, my recommendation is not to put yourself in a place where you may be tempted to sin. To me sharing a room would be a significant temptation. Paul tells us to “flee temptation” (2 Tim. 2:22). Hope that helps!


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