Right now I’m feeling tired. Mindless. Useless. Incompetent. Persecuted. I’m sick and tired of my job, of the negativity that pervades it. I’m disgusted with my laziness, my lack of motivation to get anything done. I lack confidence in my ability to do my job. I wonder how sincere I am in wanting to help the students. Existence seems so meaningless. Go to work. Be abused. Argue. Go home. Watch television. Sit around. Be lazy. Eat. Sit at the computer. Go back to work. Get abused some more. The cycle seems endless, and life (especially mine) seems like a complete waste.
My heart needs to be right with God. I need to seek Him and His will. I need to read His Word. I need to pray. Again, I need to look at David’s example. When he experienced trouble, he cried out to God. He recognized his sin and begged for forgiveness. He cried out in anguish; he wept; He sought God’s mercy.
When we sin, do we look to God and beg Him for mercy? Do we remember that He alone rules and judges the earth? Do we know that even in our utter weakness He listens to us? After David pleads to God for mercy and deliverance, he says,
The LORD has heard my plea; the LORD accepts my prayer.
Psalm 6:9 (ESV)
When our lives start crumbling down around us, we can call on God to pick up the pieces. He waits for us; He remains patient; His mercy endures forever.
For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
Romans 10:13
17 When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.
18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
Psalm 34:17-19 (ESV)
No, it is not a waste.
Anymore than the sculptor would say that his piece is a waste simply because it is not finished.
What you are neglecting is the “fire” within. That fire is what makes you excited to get up in the morning; what makes you reluctant to go to bed.
It doesn’t mean that the “fire” has to be about your job, but it could be. It could also be about something else, but the benefits would also be noticeable in your job.
Do you believe God has placed you where He wants you to be? If so, then you need to find the excitement in your job. If not, then maybe you need to start thinking of another job where you can get excited.
Or maybe you should think about things, other than your job, which could create that “fire” or excitement in your life.
The “watching television part being a waste” I can agree with. And I am guilty of the same thing. I usually have a good book and just use the tv as background noise. (It really isn’t useful for much else.)
Find your “fire”. Feed the “fire” and let it grow within you. Others will notice the difference, as will you.
How do I know? I’ve been there. I’ve felt the same. The danger is in being in that position for too long. You don’t want that.
If you’re not getting up the morning and feeling excited about the day, then you are starting off tired and it’s not going to get better.
Don’t let the fire go out.
I appreciate the comments, Codeman. The times when life feels like a “waste” are temporary. When I have those feelings, I have to stop and look at how I react when I feel that way. Do I go to God, like David did? Or do I just wallow in the misery? I find when I rely on myself, the downtime continues. When I admit my faults and trust God, things get better.
I also appreciate your comments about finding the “fire.” I agree. Sometimes, though, when life gets moving and you’re in a rut, finding that fire is difficult. Life has constants. One of them is work. Anyone can quit a job, but finding something that pays as well, that you’re good at, and that you like, well, that’s another story. So, we get stuck where we are. I think rather than finding a different job, I need to find a way to get passionate about the one I have. It also makes it exponentially harder when you feel as if people at your job are against you.
Again, for me, it comes back to believing that God has a plan for me and that He will support me through these difficult times. Perhaps I need to pray that he will ignite a passion within me – something that will get me excited about each day.
I’ll start with your last comments first.
You’re right. God does have a plan for you and the people who dislike God will also dislike you. And you can be sure that the times will get even more difficult. That’s not all that bad. It makes the good times easily recognizable. 🙂
About your job: Yes, people are sometimes too quick to quit and move on. That’s not a good plan unless you are working at something else, (a hobby for example), that becomes a passion and could become a profitable career. I think you are going to find difficult people no matter where you are working. There just seems to be more and more dissatisfied people around these days.
You’re right about that “wallowing in the misery”. Pity parties are dangerous. I liken them to quicksand. You don’t want to stay in them too long or you may sink and not be able to get out.
I am amazed at the people who walk around with a smile on their face when life just gives them one punch after another. You wonder what could keep a person like that sane. And there is only one explanation. God.